171 | Transcending the Horse Collar

 
 

October 9, 2023

Welcome back! We are fresh off a 14 episode series - which we'll talk more about in a minute...

But it feels good to be back - doing a random episode on a topic that interests me.

But before we get to all that - let's do a Life Update…

And a Minute of Transparency: Taking a Deep Breath

Today's Topic: Transcending the Horse Collar

  1. It Ain't Just for Horses

  2. Feeling the Drag

  3. Reaping the Benefits

// CHAPTER 1: IT AIN'T JUST FOR HORSES

If you do a Google search for "Horse Collar" the bulk of your search results will be collars for horses. Stands to reason right?

Now for those of you who don't know what this is - let's allow Wikipedia to explain:

"A horse collar is a part of a horse harness that is used to distribute the load around a horse's neck and shoulders when pulling a wagon or plough. The collar often supports and pads a pair of curved metal or wooden pieces, called hames, to which the traces of the harness are attached. The collar allows the horse to use its full strength when pulling, essentially enabling the animal to push forward with its hindquarters into the collar."

Brilliant. But not exactly what I'll be talking about today.

Because this term is also used in American Football.

It is a penalty referred to as the Horse Collar, or the Horse Collar Tackle.

According to the NFL rule book: RULE 12 SECTION 2 ARTICLE 16

"No player shall grab the inside collar of the back or the side of the shoulder pads or jersey, or grab the jersey at the name plate or above, and pull the runner toward the ground. This does not apply to a runner who is in the tackle box or to a quarterback who is in the pocket."

So why am I using this as our topic for today?

No clue - but maybe it's because I love football. And it's football season:

  • I watch the NFL - and not just my favorite team - the Denver Broncos:

    • I'll watch 80% of the games because there is a team playing that I enjoy watching

    • I like watching the LA Rams and the LA Chargers because they're the teams from our area

    • I like watching the Chiefs because of Patrick Mahomes and Travis Kelce

    • I like watching the 49ers because of the way Brock Purdy came in as a complete rookie last year and yet is 9-0 in regular season games

    • I like watching the Dallas Cowboys play to see if they can live up to the big names and huge salaries they typically have on their roster

    • And I was even excited to see what Aaron Rodgers would do on the NY Jets - though that ended quickly - like in the first 4 minutes of the first game...

  • And then there is college football:

    • For most of my life I could have cared less about college sports

    • But living in South Bend, IN took a toll on me - and I eventually became a ND Fighting Irish fan - and I still watch them play if the game is on

    • This year it's been fun watching the CU Boulder games with Prime Time Dion Sanders coaching and his sons playing their hearts out

    • And then there are college teams where we actually know players on the teams

    • As our kids, and their friends grow up and go away to college - some of them actually continue to play

    • So it's fun to watch them at the next level

But what does all this have to do with the horse collar tackle? And out topic for today?

Only this...

The horse collar tackle is a penalty in football. It happens when a player grabs another player by the shoulder pads or jersey around the neck area and drags the player down.

If you've seen one you understand why they made it a penalty. Because the player going to the ground often does so in a very strange way. The legs twist in a strange way, and as a result the player taking them down often lands on the other players legs as the two are going to the ground.

Which is how a lot of things become penalties over time. If a repetitive play seems to cause injuries a lot of the time - it typically becomes a penalty.

Similar to this is the recent rules about targeting and helmet to helmet contact.

This used to be a staple in football. The harder you hit someone the better. And if they didn't get up right away - good job! You hit them hard enough.

And then we learned about concussions and how they were happening. And so helmet to helmet hits and targeting the head became infractions - capable of getting you thrown out of the game.

So obviously we're not going to talk about the horse collar tackle at length today. But I want to use it as an illustration for something else. Something we all go through from time to time:

  • When there is something that seems to be dragging us down

  • Something that keeps us in an awkward position - maybe off balance a bit

  • And things that can cause us harm in certain circumstances

// CHAPTER 2: FEELING THE DRAG

So let's get practical here and talk about a few categories of horse collar tackles that we might experience

Tackle #1: Addiction

  • Should be no surprise to any of us I right?

  • Nothing has the power to drag us down like an addiction - or a bad habit

  • Something that started out fun and games

  • But over time just kept sinking its hooks deeper and deeper into your soul - until you couldn't imagine doing life without it

  • For me it was alcohol:

    • Fun and games for a long time

    • But at some point the switch flipped and it wasn't fun any more

    • It was a necessary part of my life - a daily routine that had to happen or the world was off kilter

    • Like, "Oh - we're going over to so and so's house tonight - is there going to be alcohol?"

    • Or, "We're going camping for 4 days - how on earth am I going to get alcohol being away from home for that long?"

    • Or the worst, "Wow, how many have I had? I'm pretty sure I'm still good to drive."

  • See where that was going?

  • The energy and anxiety involved in simply living day to day?

  • That's the feeling I'm talking about - being dragged down awkwardly to the point where you hit the ground or get injured

  • For others it's pornography, gambling, drugs, or even positive things like becoming wealthy or successful - only to start feeling the drag at some point along the way

  • My wife really wanted us to watch Suits on Netflix - so we started it. But it didn't take long for me to get annoyed by it. It's just hard to watch - because of the way it promotes and sensationalizes the lives of these cutthroat attorneys. The flashy, splashy lives and the way they stretch the legality of the law in order to get what they want. All fun and games - without showing the drag - the way it impacts them over time. If anything the negative is used as a badge of honor. Things like being divorced, or not having time to have friends due to the demands of the job. All badges of honor - allowing them to be successful and powerful. Just another addiction in my book

Tackle #2: Social Media

  • I thought about adding this to the list of addictions

  • Because for me - it feels very similar at times - in fact there were times I deleted it off my phone - only to give in and add it back a week later

  • Exactly how my addiction to alcohol worked

  • For some people - they might agree with me - that they feel addicted to opening Instagram, or TikTok every time they get a notification

  • But I broke social media out because it's not the addictive part I want to focus on - it's the content

  • At first we recognized that social media could be damaging because it was the "highlight reel" from peoples lives

  • People didn't post about the problems they were having or the bad hair days - no!

  • It was the good food, the dance clubs, the new car, the vacations

  • All the good stuff - a facade suggesting they have it all together - that they're living their best lives

  • And this still exists - but at some point something new emerged...

Tackle #3: Anger Outbursts & Polarizing Content on Social Media

  • I'm not even going to try and sugar coat this one

  • Twitter is to blame for this - 100%

  • The entire platform exists for hot takes

  • For people to say something in less than 140 characters:

    • Something they're angry about

    • Making fun of someone

    • Calling someone out

    • A dogmatic statement about something political or religious

    • Threatening a person or a group of people

    • Spreading misinformation and lies

    • Things like that

    • Now to be fair - people can post things like, "I just ate my first bowl of oatmeal since I was a child."

    • But I'm pretty sure that isn't the norm

  • And, it isn't just Twitter these days

  • TikTok to me is the ultimate platform for all of the things mentioned above

  • And it's 100% more engaging and addictive

  • Video is more engaging than text - that's a psychological fact

  • And the For You Page is magic

  • It just keeps feeding you content - one video after another

  • And I haven't even talked about the social media algorithms yet

  • How AI is used to watch your behavior and learn from you. The things you seem to like, the places you go and the accounts you frequent

  • And with this knowledge - they begin curating content just for you and feeding it to you

  • Dangerous - because you very quickly start to think the world thinks like you - because everything you're seeing says that it's true

Tackle #4: Hyper-focus on the Negative

  • Now I'm sure there are many more of these tackles we could talk about

  • But I'll end with this one

  • The idea behind it is this:

    • We start filling our lives and our minds with negative things until we start to feel the drag

    • It could happen just by watching too much news

    • This was definitely an issue during the COVID years:

      • All of it was negative

      • The COVID death counts

      • The fear mongering about going outside

      • The constant restrictions and closures

      • The police shootings

      • The looting, protests and riots

      • The vaccine and the drama over it being good or evil

      • All the conspiracy theories

      • The political problems and the increasing polarization

      • All the negative things - all the time

  • Or maybe it's getting on the wrong side of TikTok for too long:

    • To where the algorithm is pushing you post after post about how bad the "other side of the aisle" is

    • Those terrible MAGA people

    • Or those liberals that want us to become communists

    • Or maybe you get caught up in Deconstruction TikTok - and because it's all you're seeing it feels like everyone in the world is losing their religion

    • Whatever the case - after too much of that content you start to feel the drag

  • For me - even doing the Transcending Eschatology Series had an impact:

    • Bible Prophecy isn't the most uplifting part of the Bible

    • I mean it's a little dark

    • Of course it's also a good thing

    • We find out that God wins - and that at some point in time all of the pains and sorrows of this world will go away

    • But at the same time - the world isn't going to get better between now and then

    • Revelation speaks of One World Governments, forced worship, deception, persecution, manipulation and death decrees

    • And then you have the 7 Last Plagues that will be worse than anything we've seen before

    • Not for the faint of heart

  • So even that made me feel the drag for a while

So before this chapter ends - let's talk for a bit about what it means to feel the drag:

  • How does the drag actually feel?

  • What does it actually do to us?

I'm assuming it impacts each of us in different ways - but here are 4 big ones I've experienced:

  1. The drag on our mental health:

    • This could be as simple as decreased levels of joy or happiness in life - or it could be full blown depression

    • It could be irritability - or it could be full blown anger outbursts

    • It could be a constant worrying, or nervousness - or it could be debilitating anxiety that keeps us from trying new things

  2. The drag on our productivity:

    • Maybe you start to lose focus in school - and your grades start to drop

    • Maybe at work - you just aren't as excited about getting there in the morning and work starts to become draining

    • Maybe it's that side hustle - or passion project you were doing in your free time - and you're finding it hard to even think about it any more

  3. The drag on our hope:

    • I'm tying this one directly to Tackle #4 - The Hyper-focus on Negativity

    • Because when this one starts to drag us down it's hard to be hopeful

    • It's hard to see a future that is bright or positive at all

    • And if that's the lens we're looking through - it will impact our present

    • Because we'll start to view things today as irrelevant, or unimportant given the fact that tomorrow is what it is

    • With the End Times stuff - if you get too caught up in it you can start ignoring the little things going on right now

    • The people, the relationships - and living a life today that has impact for good today - regardless when the world is going to end

  4. The drag on our relationships:

    • This one is less about us - and more about the way our issues start to impact those around us

    • When others start to notice a difference in us - and call us out

    • Telling us that something has changed in us - and that we don't seem like ourselves

    • This one hits close to home. My wife is an Enneagram 7 and nothing impacts her more than being around negative people

    • So it becomes important for me to monitor my negativity meter on a regular basis in order to keep balance in the relationship

Now, like I said - there are countless ways people feel the drag - but those are the ones I wanted to highlight.

// CHAPTER 3: REAPING THE BENEFITS

So the obvious questions is this: Now what?

What do we do about the horse collar tackles in our lives that keep dragging us down?

In the NFL - when you experience a horse collar tackle - it has immediate negative side effects:

  • You lose your momentum

  • You get dragged down

  • And you are put in a position where injury is a very common result

However, there is also a silver lining. Because there is a penalty associated with a horse collar tackle. Not on you - but on your opponent.

Penalty: For a Horse-Collar Tackle: Loss of 15 yards and an automatic first down.

Which means you are now back in business. You are 15 yards farther down the field AND you are back to 1st Down.

In life we could say it this way:

  • Instead of gaining yardage: In life - once you go through the drag - you can find yourself further ahead than you might have been without it

  • And instead of a 1st Down: In life - after the drag - you might find that your tank has been filled up and you have the energy you lost

Now. As I see it, we have three options when it comes to the horse collar tackles we face in life:

  1. We can ignore the problem and keep fighting against the tackle

  2. We can realize there is a problem - and begin to moderate

  3. We can determine that the tackle has the potential to injure us - and stop it all together

I'll give you examples of the last two from my experience and then we'll be done.

First, moderation:

  • I've played the moderation game when it comes to social media over the years

  • I've been on multiple platforms over the years - typically 3-4 at the same time

  • And every now and then it feels like one is becoming a bit of a drag

  • So I try to moderate my time on it

  • And if that doesn't work - I eventually delete that App off my phone for a while

  • I'm still on social media - but trying to limit time on ones that seem to be taking over

  • I still want the social interaction, and positive content from friends and family

  • But I don't want the manipulation that comes from AI and the algorithms

  • Obviously - this is getting harder and harder to do

  • I absolutely loved TikTok - but at some point it had to go - so it is no longer on my phone

  • Instagram is my current platform - but at some point it's going to have to go as well

  • They're just making it harder and harder for me to control the content I want to see

  • At the end of the day we're seeing more and more content because they want us to see it:

    • Either because they're advertisements

    • Or because AI has determined we should see it

    • And neither of these are good things

Second, sobriety:

  • With alcohol - there was no moderation

  • And for those who struggle with an addiction - that's the part that becomes painfully obvious

  • You try to stop and you fail

  • Over and over again until you lose hope

  • And in situations like these there is no moderation

  • I'm just going to drink beer - no hard alcohol

  • Good luck with that...

  • At the end of the day many of us came to the stunning conclusion that moderation doesn't work

  • Only sobriety does

  • At least with a full blown addiction to something

  • For me - this was alcohol

  • For you - maybe it's gambling

  • I don't know - but sometimes you just have to stop doing something all together in order to get to the other side

  • To get your 15 yards and the automatic first down...

Let's Land the Plane:

Friends - this was fun! It's good to be back talking about felt need topics again.

I think we'll do this for a while - but I also have another project in the works. One I want to run by you at some point.

It isn't fully baked - so it might be a while. But wanted to put you on notice anyway.

It's a project that would slightly alter the format of the podcast - and possibly move the content in a different direction.

But like I said - no decisions have been made at this point - so it's business as usual.

Again - a HUGE thank you to those of you who stuck with us through the End of Time series. I know - it was a pretty big diversion - but I thank you for allowing me to do that.

I have to believe that it was exactly what some people needed. And even if it helped one person - it was worth the effort.

Hope this episode found it's target as well.

Have a great week friends, and as always, keep Transcending Human!


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172 | Transcending Perfektionism

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170 | TE014 | Transcending Eschatology | Part 14 | The Climactic Ending