094 | Transcending Life Change (Guest: Tyler McMullen)

 
 

Date: December 20, 2021

Welcome back to short series we're doing in December called: Conversations with Family

We're on Week 3 already!

  • Week 1: Allie on: Climate change, global warming and all things environment

  • Week 2: Tammy and I talked about Long Distance Relationships

So here we are - Week 3 and it's Tyler's turn on the hot seat...

But before we begin, allow me to address the elephant in the room - the fact that I haven't done an episode on the podcast called Transcending Change...

Today's Topic: Transcending Life Change

Welcome Tyler back to the podcast...

I believe the last time you were on the show you told us you'd be back...but did you know it would be this soon?

OK - let's start with a few simple questions before we dive in:

  1. First, a little about yourself

  2. What you're doing in life right now

  3. And finally, what you're dreaming about...

Short overview on the fact that change happens:

  • Like I said at the top of the show...change is all around us

  • It's constant...it's inevitable

  • Both for the good and for the bad

  • Hence the phrase: "If there's one thing that never changes, it's the fact that things change..."

  • Things just don't stay the same...for any of us

  • And as I thought this through I realized there are different levels of change - at least two that seemed important to this conversation:

    • Small changes:

      • Daily stuff, simple stuff

      • Like the menu changing at Chic-fil-a

      • TV Shows starting and ending

      • New streets being added to your neighborhood

      • A new intersection with traffic lights instead of stop signs 

      • Things like that...

    • But then there are Big changes:

      • Things we're going to refer to as Life Changes on this episode

      • Because these things are much more significant

      • Things like:

        • Moving across the country - or to a different country altogether!

        • The death of a loved one

        • Transitions: Going from: middle school to high school - into college - into the workforce

        • Getting married

        • Having kids

        • Retiring from your job

      • Obviously - these are much larger changes - changes that can produce a lot more joy, or a lot more pain depending on what is changing

So that's where I was headed with this episode. And why I hoped you would be willing to tell your story...

Specifically: Our move from Indiana to California - and the impact it had on you...

  • Daryl & Tammy's side of the story:

    • Why we decided to move?

    • My family move us to Wyoming

    • Lived there for 7 years in elementary school

    • Saw it as an adventure

    • The Midwest had issues for us. Nothing holding us there. Jobs on auto pilot. Complacency setting in. Weather extremes.

  • Tyler's side of the story:

    • So that's what was going through our heads

    • But I'm assuming you didn't see it this way at all?

    • Did you ever think about moving before we brought it up?

    • What was your first thought when we started talking about it?

  • Indiana:

    • What were the things you loved about Indiana?

    • Was there anything you didn't like about Indiana?

  • California:

    • Were you interested or intrigued about living on the West Coast?

    • Were there things about California that you assumed would be bad before we moved?

  • Once we did move - what was the impact on your life?

    • Immediate? (6-8th Grade - Beacon Park)

    • Entering high school?

    • Long term?

      • Family?

      • Friends?

      • School?

  • Mental health?

    • How would you describe your state of mental health from the original move to where we are today?

    • When did you first notice it as a problem?

    • How did it progress?

    • How bad did it get?

    • Did you hide it for a while?

    • What made you reach out?

  • Fast forward to today:

    • How would you say things are now?

    • What are some things you've done to deal with the mental health issues you've faced?

    • Would you say you have a more positive outlook on life? Or on your future?

    • If so - what are some of those things you're looking forward to?

    • What are some of the things you still struggle with?

  • How do you view yourself compared to your peers?

    • Do people around you seem to be doing better? Worse? The same?

    • How does COVID play into it? 

  • Advice for others:

    • Moving:

      • For parents thinking about making a life-changing decision for their family. Like moving across the country?

      • For kids whose parents have made a decision like that?

    • Mental Health:

      • For parents with kids going through some of the things you talked about?

      • For kids going through the things you're going through?

  • Pulling it all together:

    • We started this episode talking about change

    • And our move to CA was definitely a big one...especially for you...

    • So when you look back on the move - how do you view it today?

      • Was it just a change that happened - and you just needed to adjust to it?

      • Or do you view it as a bad decision - a mistake that can't be taken back?

Landing the Plane:

First - I want to thank you (Tyler) for choosing to hang with me once again. And to talk about something that isn't all fun and games. I know it wan't easy - and I'm proud of you for opening up about it.

Next, for those listening:

  • Have you gone through a major Life Change like this in your life?

  • Or are you going through one right now?

  • If so - how are you doing?

  • If you're not doing well - talk to someone about it

  • Find someone you trust and ask them if they would sit and chat with you for an hour or so

  • If that isn't an option, and you're scared because your emotions are overwhelming you:

    • Use the Suicide Prevention Hotline: 800-273-8255

  • Then find a counselor or therapist - someone you can talk to that knows how to help

Thanks again for joining us!

Next week we wrap things up with my other daughter Rachel. Hopefully she has a topic picked out by then 🙂

Until then, have a great week, navigate those life changes, and as always - keep Transcending Human!


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095 | Transcending Walls (Guest: Rachel McMullen)

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093 | Transcending the LDR (Guest: Tammy McMullen)