094 | Transcending Life Change (Guest: Tyler McMullen)
Date: December 20, 2021
Welcome back to short series we're doing in December called: Conversations with Family
We're on Week 3 already!
Week 1: Allie on: Climate change, global warming and all things environment
Week 2: Tammy and I talked about Long Distance Relationships
So here we are - Week 3 and it's Tyler's turn on the hot seat...
But before we begin, allow me to address the elephant in the room - the fact that I haven't done an episode on the podcast called Transcending Change...
Today's Topic: Transcending Life Change
Welcome Tyler back to the podcast...
I believe the last time you were on the show you told us you'd be back...but did you know it would be this soon?
OK - let's start with a few simple questions before we dive in:
First, a little about yourself
What you're doing in life right now
And finally, what you're dreaming about...
Short overview on the fact that change happens:
Like I said at the top of the show...change is all around us
It's constant...it's inevitable
Both for the good and for the bad
Hence the phrase: "If there's one thing that never changes, it's the fact that things change..."
Things just don't stay the same...for any of us
And as I thought this through I realized there are different levels of change - at least two that seemed important to this conversation:
Small changes:
Daily stuff, simple stuff
Like the menu changing at Chic-fil-a
TV Shows starting and ending
New streets being added to your neighborhood
A new intersection with traffic lights instead of stop signs
Things like that...
But then there are Big changes:
Things we're going to refer to as Life Changes on this episode
Because these things are much more significant
Things like:
Moving across the country - or to a different country altogether!
The death of a loved one
Transitions: Going from: middle school to high school - into college - into the workforce
Getting married
Having kids
Retiring from your job
Obviously - these are much larger changes - changes that can produce a lot more joy, or a lot more pain depending on what is changing
So that's where I was headed with this episode. And why I hoped you would be willing to tell your story...
Specifically: Our move from Indiana to California - and the impact it had on you...
Daryl & Tammy's side of the story:
Why we decided to move?
My family move us to Wyoming
Lived there for 7 years in elementary school
Saw it as an adventure
The Midwest had issues for us. Nothing holding us there. Jobs on auto pilot. Complacency setting in. Weather extremes.
Tyler's side of the story:
So that's what was going through our heads
But I'm assuming you didn't see it this way at all?
Did you ever think about moving before we brought it up?
What was your first thought when we started talking about it?
Indiana:
What were the things you loved about Indiana?
Was there anything you didn't like about Indiana?
California:
Were you interested or intrigued about living on the West Coast?
Were there things about California that you assumed would be bad before we moved?
Once we did move - what was the impact on your life?
Immediate? (6-8th Grade - Beacon Park)
Entering high school?
Long term?
Family?
Friends?
School?
Mental health?
How would you describe your state of mental health from the original move to where we are today?
When did you first notice it as a problem?
How did it progress?
How bad did it get?
Did you hide it for a while?
What made you reach out?
Fast forward to today:
How would you say things are now?
What are some things you've done to deal with the mental health issues you've faced?
Would you say you have a more positive outlook on life? Or on your future?
If so - what are some of those things you're looking forward to?
What are some of the things you still struggle with?
How do you view yourself compared to your peers?
Do people around you seem to be doing better? Worse? The same?
How does COVID play into it?
Advice for others:
Moving:
For parents thinking about making a life-changing decision for their family. Like moving across the country?
For kids whose parents have made a decision like that?
Mental Health:
For parents with kids going through some of the things you talked about?
For kids going through the things you're going through?
Pulling it all together:
We started this episode talking about change
And our move to CA was definitely a big one...especially for you...
So when you look back on the move - how do you view it today?
Was it just a change that happened - and you just needed to adjust to it?
Or do you view it as a bad decision - a mistake that can't be taken back?
Landing the Plane:
First - I want to thank you (Tyler) for choosing to hang with me once again. And to talk about something that isn't all fun and games. I know it wan't easy - and I'm proud of you for opening up about it.
Next, for those listening:
Have you gone through a major Life Change like this in your life?
Or are you going through one right now?
If so - how are you doing?
If you're not doing well - talk to someone about it
Find someone you trust and ask them if they would sit and chat with you for an hour or so
If that isn't an option, and you're scared because your emotions are overwhelming you:
Use the Suicide Prevention Hotline: 800-273-8255
Then find a counselor or therapist - someone you can talk to that knows how to help
Thanks again for joining us!
Next week we wrap things up with my other daughter Rachel. Hopefully she has a topic picked out by then 🙂
Until then, have a great week, navigate those life changes, and as always - keep Transcending Human!