137 | Transcending Crises
October 17, 2022
Minute of Transparency: Crisis Averted
Today's Topic: Transcending Crises
Avoiding crises
Common options
Getting proactive
// 1. AVOIDING CRISES
I thought this would be a fun place to start.
I can already hear some of you yelling back at me about the title of this section.
Because it's not a rational statement.
Why?
It doesn't matter how hard we try - and what we do - we will experience crises in life.
I know - because it's in my nature to mitigate risk.
As an Enneagram 1 - I'm not only a perfectionist - but I'm also looking for ways to improve life, simplify complexity and make decisions based on facts.
All of this leads to a foolish belief that doing the right things will lead to less chaos. Less problems. And less crises throughout your life.
So how do think I'm doing?
Think it's been working for me?
No - of course not!
I've had my share of crises
Difficult situations where I've had to make difficult decisions
Not obvious decisions - decisions like the ones we're going to discuss in the next section
And the sooner we realize that crises happen to all of us the sooner we'll be able to accept reality and decide how to deal with them when they come our way.
// 2. COMMON OPTIONS
One of my favorite podcasts is the Story Grid podcast with Tim Grahl and Shawn Coyne.
I found it after reading Shawn's book by the same name. And it blew my mind.
Nothing excites me more than the idea that there is a recipe to writing a successful novel.
A recipe made up of very specific elements that can be outlined, spreadsheeted, checked and double checked in order to build an engaging story.
Now, I'm not opposed to writing an entire story off the top of me head either.
But if I can do that - then apply something like Story Grid to it and ensure it has all the necessary elements to satisfy a reader's preconceived ideas and expectations - what's not to love?
So that's why I got so into the SG Podcast.
But at some point - the topic turned to a very important concept.
I learned about the 5 Commandments of Story Telling:
And the third of the 5 is called the Crisis. Defined like this on the Story Grid website:
"When the protagonist’s initial strategy to deal with the inciting incident has failed, they face a dilemma. This is the crisis. The crisis poses a real choice between incompatible options with meaningful stakes. It is always a binary “this or that” choice."
So this is where we get our two options - according to Shawn Coyne and the Story Grid framework. They are literary options for authors - but the reason they work is that they are based on real life crises that we all experience. This adds a level of believability to your story and hooks the reader.
So what are these two options?
Well before we get to that - Shawn explains that these options must have the following elements:
Incompatible options: The protagonist MUST give something up. In choosing one option - they are choosing to give up the other
Meaningful stakes: In other words - the decision MUST matter. It has to be a hard decision with real life stakes
Okay - so those are the requirements for the crisis in your story. But here are the two ways the crisis present itself:
Option 1: Best Bad Choice
Choosing between two terrible options
Determining the lesser of the two evils
Option 2: Irreconcilable Goods
Choosing between two wonderful options
Determining the good thing that should win out over the other good thing
So let's look at a few example of each:
My story in the MOT was an example of Best Bad Choice:
Bad choice 1: Stay in a relationship where I wasn't sure there was commitment
Bad choice 2: Break up and give up a two year relationship
Next, if you're a Christian - this might sound familiar:
Bad choice 1: Jesus choosing to die on the cross - the pain and suffering involved in this was incredible
Bad choice 2: If Jesus chose not to go to the cross - there would be no hope for human kind
Now - let's look at the opposite crisis situation.
Here's a practical one: Career decision:
Good choice 1: Stay at your job where you know you're up for a promotion
Good choice 2: Take a job at a lower salary - but one that you are passionate about
Or how about a relationship example:
You've been dating around - and realize there are two people who really seem into you:
Good choice 1: One of them you grew up with and you're 100% sure you're compatible
Good choice 2: The other person seems too good to be true and you feel like you've hit the lottery
So just a few examples in terms of the way crises play out in life.
Now - the Story Grid wants you to maximize these scenarios. The crisis in your scene, or the crisis line for your entire book has to be top level.
In fact, if there is a life and death best bad choice - even better. Because it's all about keeping the reader's interest. Keeping them on the edge of their seats - so they won't put the book down.
In life - things aren't always this exciting.
We have small, medium and large level crises.
But in each scenario - the options are the same - you either have to pick from a best bad choice, or choose from irreconcilable goods.
It's just the nature of a crisis.
// 3. GETTING PROACTIVE
So I mentioned this a bit earlier on the episode.
The idea that we need to get to a place where we understand crises WILL happen in life.
It's not a matter of if, it's a matter of when.
Don't believe me - just think about the past two years in your life - can you see how many you've had?
I can come up with at least 5 off the top of my head!
How about this for a best bad choice: Story about buying Tyler's car...
Bad choice 1: Spend $2500 to get my son's Mazda Miata running - and ensure it remains safe to drive
Bad choice 2: Drive it the way it is - possibly causing more damage to the car, and increasing the danger to my son
Again - just one more example from many I've gone through in the past few years.
I'm sure if you spent some dedicated time looking through your recent past - you'd find a handful of difficult crises you've had to deal with as well.
So the question is this: If we know crises are coming - what can we do?
Is there a way to be proactive in terms of our response to crises?
Or do we just have to react when they arise?
Well, there will most likely be crises that jump up and bite you in the butt when you least expect them. Crises that you could really just flip a coin, or consult your lucky 8 ball for.
But for the rest - here are three things that might help us when crises come our way:
Run it through your world view:
For some people this is religious, or spiritual in nature
A set of beliefs that guide your decisions
For others - this may totally be based on science - doing the logical, or statistically significant thing
But whatever the case - figuring out your world view before a crisis happens is a big deal
It gives you a foundation, a baseline for your next move
It may not give you the answer - but it should help you get there
Run it by your peeps:
Remember the game show Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?
One of the contestants options when they got stuck on a question was to "phone a friend"
That's basically what this means
When you encounter a crisis - don't feel like you have to keep it all inside
Lock yourself in a room and hash it out yourself
No! Pull in the people you trust
Family, spouse, co-worker, close friends, etc.
Get all the help you can get - and use it all to help you make a good decision
Be ok with failure:
Realize that nobody makes the right choice every time
We will make the wrong decisions from time to time
But these are learning experiences - and will make us stronger in the long run
There's no point in beating ourselves up over it
Simply take the learnings and keep moving forward
Let's Land the Plane:
Thanks for joining us again this week.
This week, ask yourself the following questions:
What was the crisis you thought of at the beginning of this episode?
Was it an example of Best Bad Choice or Irreconcilable Goods?
What was your decision?
Did it turn out ok?
Or was it a learning experience?
That's it folks! Thank you again for joining us this week. Absolutely love doing this each week.
Until next time everyone, have a great week, and as always, keep Transcending Human!