127 | Transcendent Deconstruction - Part 1: What It Is and What It Ain't
August 8, 2022
Minute of Transparency: My Personal Deconstruction - Round 1
Today's Topic: Transcendent Deconstruction - Part 1: What It Is and What It Ain't
The origin of the species
Deconstruction today
Commonalities
// 1. THE ORIGIN OF THE SPECIES
So let's get the boring part out of the way right up front.
The fact that the term deconstruction has been misappropriated - stolen if you will - from its original intent.
When you do a Google search for the word "deconstruction" you're immediately hit with these two results:
The dictionary entry for the word
And the Wikipedia page for the word
And both look strange at first glance - because it says nothing about a process people are going through - people leaving their religious communities - nothing like that.
In fact you quickly realize it's a literary concept.
Let me read the definition just so you can see how complicated it is:
"Deconstruction is a philosophical and critical movement, starting in the 1960s and especially applied to the study of literature, that questions all traditional assumptions about the ability of language to represent reality and emphasizes that a text has no stable reference or identification because words essentially only refer to other words and therefore a reader must approach a text by eliminating any metaphysical or ethnocentric assumptions through an active role of defining meaning, sometimes by a reliance on new word construction, etymology, puns, and other word play."
Like I said - let's get the boring stuff out of the way quickly...
As you can see this has very little to do with the type of deconstruction we're talking about in this series.
But if you read it over and over you start to see some key concepts appear:
The fact that it is a movement
A movement that questions traditional assumptions
A movement that requires new concepts in order to fully understand things
And that to me is the overlap. The reason the word was stolen for our purposes today.
When you look at it that way - people today who are deconstructing their religion for example, are part of a movement that is questioning traditional assumptions and incorporating new concepts into their world view...
Drop the mic - we're done for today...
Actually - that was a total oversimplification. But we're not going to spend much time here. Because on some level it's irrelevant to our conversation.
Just know that the term deconstruction came from the world of literature - but in our culture today - it is used to refer to people questioning things they thought to be true. Mainly in the realm of religion and spirituality - but not exclusively.
Okay - now that we have that out of the way - let's dive into it.
So what are some of the ways people are deconstructing today?
I'm going to throw out a few high level categories to get things started:
Political Deconstruction:
There are people leaving the political party they grew up in and looking for new home
Cultural Deconstruction:
There are people who move from one country to another, one culture to another and are forced to question their assumptions about the world
Educational Deconstruction:
Education in our country has been called "indoctrination" - and probably for good reason
Over the years we've come to learn that some of our textbooks were more propaganda than truth
History changed, history hidden and history retold in order to make our country look like the best country in the world
And though it is a pretty amazing country - we can't lose sight of the fact that we've done some pretty terrible things
Coming to terms with that requires some deconstruction - some reprogramming
Sex/Gender Deconstruction:
Think about the traditional gender roles we've been taught our entire life
Girls wear pink, boys wear blue
Girls play with dolls, boys play with trucks
Girls are soft, boys have a harder exterior
Girls make better parents, and boys are better at bringing home the bacon
See what I mean? All sorts of things that need deconstructed - not just in our heads - but in our culture as well
Scientific Deconstruction:
My science friends aren't going to like this one...
But over the years even scientists have had to deconstruct things they believed to be true
Things they were taught, things believed to be constant
Ideas like the world being flat
Skeletons that appeared to be the missing link - then proven to be fake
And think about the medical community
Treatments that were eventually found to be harmful to people - like blood-letting
Drugs that were introduced and then found to be harmful
Over the years - science has had to do their fare share of deconstruction in order to keep making progress and do no harm
And last but not least - Religious Deconstruction:
Deconstructing the religious beliefs you were raised with
And moving away from those beliefs - either to a modified version of your beliefs - or throwing them out all together
For the purposes of this series - we're going to spend the bulk of our time here - focused on Religious Deconstruction
Not because it's the main type, but because it seems to be the trend in the world today
The movement that seems to be picking up speed and dominating the social media channels I follow
And also because I believe it's the one that can have a lasting impact on our lives
In fact, and eternal impact depending on how everything shakes out...
// 2. THE DECONSTRUCTION BANDWAGON
So let's dive into this version - the Religious Deconstruction that appears to be so trendy these days.
But before we do - I want to make a distinction between the ways I've seen people deconstructing.
Based on conversations, articles and listening to people talk on social media. It appears to me that there may be at least two - possibly three variations of deconstruction:
Religious Deconstruction:
A person questioning the religious tradition they're part of
Stepping away from the uniqueness of that tradition
And removing ones self from active participation in that tradition
IMPORTANT: People in this category still believe in God on some level - or a Higher Power. People in this category often move toward Omnism, Pantheism or Universalism
Faith Deconstruction:
A person questioning BOTH the religious tradition they were raised in AND the existence of God
And stepping away from both
In many cases becoming hyper-focused on science as their new defining world view
IMPORTANT: People in this category move fully from faith in God to a belief that He doesn't exist, or that you can't prove there is a God. They often refer to themselves as Agnostics, Atheists or Secular Humanists
Spiritual Deconstruction:
I don't really have a definition for this one...
But it really sounds like it should be a thing
Maybe it's the same thing as Faith Deconstruction
Or maybe Spiritual Deconstruction is the umbrella under which the other two fall
I don't know - so we'll leave it alone for now...
But the important thing for this discussion is the idea that there are people deconstructing their religion. And people deconstructing their faith.
Now - we're not going to spend the rest of this series jumping back and forth between these two - discussing similarities and differences.
Because from what I've seen - it is very difficult to distinguish between the two.
People are people. And people are in a constant state of change. So the minute I start labeling one person as this and the other as that - they'll go and do something that challenges that label.
So for the rest of the series - we'll just refer to people as "deconstructing" or being in the "deconstruction process."
Toward the end we might pick up the discussion again.
But for now - we'll keep our discussion focused on the process of deconstruction.
So let's start with the numbers:
I don't know about you - but I'm seeing HUGE numbers of people on social media that self identify as going through the deconstruction process.
How do I know? Because they tell you. In fact for many it seems to be the only thing they want to talk about.
As if it's the filter through which they are living their life now.
Oh - and they also use hashtags like #deconstruction #deconstructing - things like that.
Instagram:
#deconstruction | 330K posts
#deconstructing | 18K
TikTok:
#deconstruction | 460M views
#deconstructing | 37M views
#exvangelical | 937M views
#exmo or #exmormon | Close to 1B combined views
Now I understand that social platforms like Facebook, Instagram and TikTok are driven by algorithms. Which means there is a chance I'm doing this to myself:
In other words, if I follow people who are deconstructing - I'm going to be shown more posts with that content
If I watch a video on TikTok about deconstruction - and I watch the entire thing - they will start showing me similar content
Now - on the one hand - this is awesome:
Because if I love cats - I'm going to get to see a lot more cat content
But - on the other hand - when it comes to controversial topics like Roe v Wade, anything political, religious content, conspiracy theories, etc.
It's suddenly not such a good thing
Because you start seeing only the content that lines up with your views
The content you agree with
So why is this dangerous?
Well - it can start to look like the entire world believes the way you do
So in my case, with deconstruction, it can start to look like the entire world is deconstructing
At least to me
When in fact - your TikTok feed could be 98% people and posts about cooking with an air fryer...
Making you think that everyone in the world uses Air Fryers...
So the important thing for us to understand is that this is the way these platforms work.
And that's fine. As long as we don't allow our social media feeds to dictate our world view.
So in my case, I need to understand that even though I'm seeing thousands of people in the deconstruction process - it's a very saturated, and filtered population I'm getting to see all at one time.
That said - do I discount the fact that it is real? That it's actually happening?
I don't think so - because I feel like I see and hear about it everywhere I go:
I still remember a friend of mine in Indiana deconstructing very quickly, leaving the church and becoming an atheist
Both of the large churches I attended recently were "turn style churches"
In other words - people came in hot, then went cold and left as quickly as they came
In the front door - out the back door
Some to other churches, but some disillusioned and disconnected all together
I have conversations with people who are starting to question their religious upbringing
My own brother has asked me questions like, "Do you really believe all that stuff we were taught as kids?"
And there's no doubt we live in a country where religion is a lightning rod:
Many are being radicalized by the Religious Right
While others are moving in the opposite direction - toward a more liberal world view
I mentioned Mormons when we were talking about social media hashtags
It blows my mind how many are coming out of the woodwork these days - leaving the LDS church:
Some leaving faith all together
Others leaving Mormonism for another mainstream Christian tradition
This mass exodus hasn't escaped the media
There have been at least 4 TV Miniseries about the LDS church recently
Shows like "Under the Banner of Heaven" that document the darker side of the religion
And then there are the podcasts I listen to...
Many of them spiritual in nature - but none specifically set up to discuss deconstruction
And yet - many of them have pulled in deconstruction as a topic of interest
Showing me yet again that this isn't going away
It's not just a phase that will soon pass
It's a movement - and it's picking up speed
Okay - let's shift focus a bit - and talk about the Bible...
The book most Christians turn to for guidance. The "operators manual" if you will for the human being.
Now I'm not a pastor, or theologian - but I've read the bulk of the Bible, and verses like this seem relevant:
"Let no one deceive you by any means; for that Day will not come unless the falling away comes first..." II Thessalonians 2:3 NKJV
In other words, as we move closer and closer to the End of Time - people will become more and more disillusioned with the things they have been taught.
And many will break away from those things.
Now, I understand that this is most likely talking about faith - that people will leave the faith - giving up their belief in God.
But I also find it interesting that people are "falling away" from organized religion. Leaving their religious traditions in order to have a more sincere and targeted faith experience.
And I can't help but wonder if this verse isn't all-inclusive. If it hits at the very thing we're seeing - deconstruction on all levels.
Interesting to say the least.
Now - before we leave this section I thought it would be interesting to illustrate with a real life example.
In my research, I found many deconstruction stories. And one that rose to the top was Abraham Piper - the son of prominent theologian John Piper:
I had never heard this story for some reason
But I was immediately hooked
John Piper is a recognized theologian. He has been a preacher at various churches, has taught at the University level and is the founder of a large web ministry at DesiringGod.org
On the outside - everything looks amazing - he stands at the top of the Christian world as a thought leader and mentor
And yet - things at home weren't so amazing
On John's Wikipedia page there is a line in the "Personal Life" section that reads like this:
"His son Abraham Piper has publicly criticized evangelical Christianity."
And that's all it says about that...
But it's a little bigger than that
I'm not going to assume I understand what Abraham thinks - or how he has deconstructed
I stuck a NY Times article in the show notes - which explains some of the story
But if you're really interested in the details - just find Abraham on TikTok and let him tell his own story
He's pretty transparent about the whole thing
Now, I want to be clear - I'm not on the side of John Piper here. I'm not thinking, "Awww, that's so sad - that John Piper has a wayward son that isn't following in his footsteps..."
The piece I do find sad is the relational part
If there is tension between the two of them - that's not good - I would never wish that on a family
But when it comes to a child deconstructing what they were taught - Abraham is no different than any of us
In fact this is what thousands of people are doing
He grew up in a traditional Christian home - even more traditional than me
He lived a very high level public life - with a dad that people knew and recognized
And during his upbringing, I have no doubt he saw things
Bad things
Hypocrisy
Things that go on behind the public curtain
And at some point he said, "This isn't for me."
He began the process of deconstruction
And you can't blame him for that
I still remember a stereotype I grew up with: that PKs or Pastor's Kids were the most rebellious kids you could find
Now obviously this is a stereotype - and a label that isn't deserved
But on some level - it makes sense
As an adolescent you begin the Individuation process
And for a PK - this process is automatically going to include the rigid religious morals and values they grew up with
If you're going to rebel against something - that would probably be it
So on some level - I feel like Abraham Piper came by his deconstruction honestly
And, like I said, you don't really know a person's story until you've sat down with them and let them explain it to you
// 3. COMMONALITIES
So why do people deconstruct? What reasons are people giving as to where the process started, and why it has continued?
Well, let's look at that as we wrap things up.
I'm going to use 4 articles from these websites to pull a large list together:
Like I said - I have a pretty long list - but I quickly realized that there are two buckets of reasons:
What the naive church believes
Reasons that are a bit more open minded
So let's start with some I feel the naive church throws out there:
Poor teaching - suggesting that if pastors just did their jobs better - people wouldn't leave
Street cred - this idea that it's cool to deconstruct - and that people are doing it to fit in on some level
Cultural pressures - similar to street cred - but more on the level of peer pressure - this idea that the world has such a strong pull that people are feeling like they have to deconstruct
We resonate with the "me against the world" narrative - suggesting that people love a pity party - that they love to play the victim - and that deconstruction is in some way tied to this
Forgetting the beauty of the Christian faith - the idea that people just lose sight of how perfect Christianity is - and that if they would just focus on that beauty there would be no need to deconstruct
Desire to sin - the idea that by deconstructing you can have more fun - do all the drugs, have all the sex, whatever the case may be
Now - the rest of these are probably closer to the truth:
Church hurt:
Something my wife and I know a little bit about
Ultimately, the church holds so much power in peoples lives
Which is why so much is required of church leaders
God holds them responsible for the harm they do on a whole different level
A level I don't think many church leaders understand or take seriously
When it comes to church hurt - it can happen on two levels:
An attendee that is hurt by the church
Staff members that are hurt by the church
Questions & Doubts:
First, as humans we all have questions and doubts
And this is a major reason people are deconstructing - so major in fact that we're going to dedicate an entire episode to this in the future
But for now - we'll keep it high level
The problem occurs when the church doesn't provide a safe space for people to ask their questions and work through their doubts
Instead, churches often create a very rigid set of beliefs and hold to them rather than allowing open conversations
This is seen in political activism and purity culture - among other things
Mistrust of large and powerful institutions:
This is a very real thing these days
Our kids have grown up suspicious of large institutions
And time and time again - the institutions have proven them right
Companies that cut corners - and harm people or the environment
Organizations that say they're doing one thing and then are found to be lying
Churches that are exposed when corruption is found within:
Mars Hill - Mark Driscoll
Hillsong Church - Carl Lentz and Brian Houston
All scandals that suggest you can't trust large institutions
Rejecting church in it's current form:
The idea here is that many of our recent generations grew up with this watered down, mega church experience
Shallow faith, very experiential and individualistic
Creating an environment that isn't congruent with the world around it
Out of touch with the harsh realities of this world - especially in a Post-COVID world with the political polarization, racial tension, removal of peoples rights, global wars, natural disasters, etc.
Globalization:
The idea that a hundred years ago people grew up in small towns with their version of Christianity and they weren't exposed to other beliefs
But today - with globalization and mass communication like social media - every other belief out there is available on your phone immediately
So simply because we're exposed to more options - this increases the likelihood of deconstruction
Burning out:
The idea that people have been running hot for way to long - and they're getting burned out
This is baked into the mega church culture for sure:
Attend weekend services - and midweek if available
Give us your money
Serve on a team at the church - multiple teams if you can
Make sure to take our Discipleship Classes - or the Growth Path - whatever it's called at your church
Join a small group
Keep your kids involved in kids and student ministries
Volunteer to chaperone kids events
Sign up for a global mission trip - because every good church member needs to do at least one
Join the meal train for the pastor's wife - who just had their 8th child...
And the list goes on and on...
You can see how this eventually leads to burnout
And this is just for the regular attendee
If you work on staff at a church it can be even harder
You do all of the things listed above - and then the things the leadership asks you to do as a staff!
My wife and I were asked to run 12 week courses multiple times a year in order to fulfill the staff requirements
Politics taking center stage:
There is a movement in this country toward Christian Patriotism - Christian Nationalism
The belief that the US is a Christian nation - and therefore should be run by Christians - enforcing Christian values
And as this movement intensifies - people are starting to see the disconnect
Churches are becoming more focused on political power and coercion than in being the church for those around them
Politics vs. People
The example Jesus offered - loving people, taking care of peoples needs - all put on the back burner in order to get more Christian politicians into government
And this disconnect for many people has led to them deconstructing
Now - as we say often - this isn't an exhaustive list - but as we move further into this series - we'll keep adding detail as we go.
So we've discussed common reasons for people to start deconstructing. But there are also common things people who deconstruct experience...
The article on Individuation from VeryWellMind.com lists the impact deconstruction can have on a person. Here are the big ones:
Anxiety
Depression
Lack of boundaries
Lack of self-awareness
Low satisfaction with one's life
Low self-worth
Problems with motivation and goal-setting
Poor decision making
Poor self-esteem
Self-doubt
Ouch...sounds difficult - but at the same time this should make total sense!
These are documented issues adolescents face while going through the Individuation process
But I have a feeling we experience the same things when we go down the road of deconstruction
I feel like I've experienced many of these
And the more TikTok stories I hear from people deconstructing the more similarities I hear
Just this morning I listened to a woman in Texas discuss how she stopped drinking and stopped going to church around the same time:
She lost her church community
She lost many friends
She doesn't feel comfortable going out to the bars or clubs to find friends
And she was asking what other people did to connect with people
There was a sadness in her eyes - a loneliness that was creeping in
Because deconstructing is hard, and it takes a toll on our mental health, our self worth, and how we view the world around us
Now I'm sure many of you are thinking, "Well, then just go back to church! If it means that much to you and fixes your problems!"
On the surface it seems this simple...but at the heart of the matter it's not. Because it means going against something your heart is telling you - just so you can feel good for a while.
This is something I hear over and over when listening to people discuss their deconstruction. They say things like:
I didn't want this to happen
I didn't go looking for this
If I could make it all go away I would
I know it sounds strange - but people who deconstruct are following their hearts - they're often doing the only thing they think they can do to pursue truth. We'll talk more about this in other parts of this series.
Let's Land the Plane:
Part 1 is in the can. Thank you so much for joining us on this journey. This was a great start - but there is a lot more to come!
This week I only have two questions for you:
Do you feel like you are in the process of deconstruction?
If so - what are you deconstructing?
Your religion?
Or your faith?
Wrestle with that this week, and we'll pick up the conversation again in Part 2: The Indoctrination-Enlightenment Cycle
Until then, have a great week, and as always, keep Transcending Human!
References:
https://www.goodtherapy.org/learn-about-therapy/issues/individuation
https://www.webmd.com/children/what-to-know-eriksons-8-stages-development
https://www.nytimes.com/2021/04/12/us/abraham-piper-tiktok-exvangelical.html
https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/article/4-causes-deconstruction/
https://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/podcasts/rise-and-fall-of-mars-hill/
https://www.amazon.com/Hillsong-Megachurch-Exposed-Season-1/dp/B09P48TWMF