CDT10 | Becoming a CDT Ambassador
Date: March 14, 2022
Welcome back to the podcast! More specifically the Conscience Driven Therapy Series.
A quick review on the structure of the series:
Conscience Driven Therapy
Learning to Transcend the Human Condition
PART I: THINGS WE CANNOT CONTROL
Chapter 1: A Lot of Things Came Before Us
Chapter 2: We Were Sent In a Specific Direction
Chapter 3: There Were Landmines & Minefields Along the Way
PART II: THINGS WE CAN CONTROL
Chapter 4: The First Step Toward Health & Healing
Chapter 5: Hold on to the Good - Release the Bad
Chapter 6: Locus of Control & ETOTO
Chapter 7: Understanding the Battle
Chapter 8: Knowing Is Half the Battle
Chapter 9: Transcend Human
Chapter 10: Becoming a CDT Ambassador
Minute of Transparency: He's the Guy
Chapter 10: Becoming a CDT Ambassador
CDT for Me
CDT for My Family
CDT for the World
// 1. CDT FOR ME
We won't spend a lot of time here - because we just spend 9 weeks looking at it from this angle.
At its core, CDT is a self help strategy. Which means it is personal. Something we can read, think about and incorporate into our lives if we so choose.
But before we can ever entertain the idea of becoming a CDT Ambassador - we have to buy into it ourselves.
We can't jump from 0-60 and start promoting CDT without first seeing the benefit in our own lives.
We have to become immersed in the idea, and see it work. Only then will we be able to explain it well to another person.
So, let's do a high level overview of the past 9 Chapters:
PART I. THINGS WE CANNOT CONTROL
Chapter 1: A Lot of Things Came Before Us
This is the Controversy Theory foundation
The idea that God and Satan are in a battle over the allegiance of every human being past, present and future
That includes you, me, our kids and everyone who comes after them
Chapter 2:We Were Sent In a Specific Direction
We talked about how our pasts impact us
The People, Places & Things from our past
Chapter 3: There Were Landmines & Minefields Along the Way
We talked about the big rocks from our pasts
The events, or strings of events that either happened to us, or that we participated in
Things that may have produced trauma in our lives
PART II: THINGS WE CAN CONTROL
Chapter 4: The First Step Toward Health & Healing
We discussed the importance of accepting the Antidote to the Sin Virus and thereby Voting for God in the Eternal Election
And we discussed the importance of us seeing our true value
Chapter 5: Hold on to the Good - Release the Bad
We discussed shifting our focus from the Landmines & Minefields of our past
To a more productive focus on the Assets & Strengths we have right now
Reframing our world view to be more positive and less focused on the things outside of our control
Chapter 6: Locus of Control & ETOTO
We discussed the concept of control - and the perceived control we believe we have
Summarizing again the things we CAN and CANNOT control
We then focused on the things we CAN control - and areas where we can exercise our freedom of choice
A big one being our thinking
So we walked through the ETOTO Worksheet which helps in the disputation of irrational thoughts and beliefs
And we wrapped things up talking about some common choices we get to make - things like whether to hold a grudge or offer forgiveness, and choosing whether to place blame or accept things and move on
Chapter 7: Understanding the Battle
We talked about Satan's Game Plan (Revenge) and God's Game Plan (Rescue Mission)
We talked about Personalized Temptation Plans (PTPs) and how Satan has one for each of us
We talked about Eternal Life Plans (ELPs) and how God has one for each of us as well
Chapter 8: Knowing Is Half the Battle
We talked about the two step process: First Understand. Then Act.
We talked about living proactively
And one of those proactive steps was to create our own plan for our future
We called it the Personalized Plan of Attack (PPA) - a personal document that can help us define the past, assess the present and live a future filled with purpose and meaning
Chapter 9: Transcend Human
We discussed what it looks like to live the Transcend Human Lifestyle
Living on mission
Living by our values
Using the tools we have access to
Changing our world view
And starting new rhythms
This is the plan. Or according to the Mandalorian... This is the way...
// 2. CDT FOR MY FAMILY
So once we have immersed ourselves in the Conscience Driven Therapy ecosystem - and we've felt the benefit that comes from living the Transcend Human Lifestyle.
The obvious next step is to share that with others - right?!
I mean, when we find the next great ice cream shop what's the first thing we do? We take a selfie with the cone in one hand and the store in the background and make sure everyone on Instagram knows about it.
So why is it any different with CDT? Why wouldn't we want to share something that makes our lives better with the people we care about?
And the best place to start is with those closest to us - our immediate family members...
So let's spend a few minutes on the various people that make up our family:
Partner/Spouse:
Now this person (hopefully) is an adult themself
Our significant other - our partner in crime - our spouse - the father or mother of our children
And because this person is an adult - they come complete with their own understanding of the world:
The have their own personality
Their own ideas
Their own world view
Their own spiritual/religious beliefs
Their own political views
And the list goes on and on...I mean down to their own genre of movies, their own TV show preferences what type of music they like
Right?
And the crazy thing is this - theirs often DO NOT align with ours
Different strokes for different folks
Opposites attract - that sort of thing
And it's ok - in fact it's probably for the best
The last thing we want is to wake up in the morning and see ourselves in the bed next to us!
No! We're attracted to our spouse typically because we see things in them we don't see in ourself
But I digress...I'm just a firm believer in the idea that spouses should complement each other, not mirror each other
Now, that doesn't mean we don't have things in common...
That we sat down before getting married and talked about important things like our spiritual beliefs
How we wanted to raise our children
How we wanted to treat other people
I mean - there has to be some level of agreement or things would have fallen apart long ago
Enter Conscience Driven Therapy...
How do you introduce your spouse to a concept like this?
Well, I don't have the perfect answer, or the perfect scenario
But I think it can be as simple as injecting it into a normal, everyday conversation
I mean, here's a recent example from my own life:
My wife came home from work one day and said, "Have you ever heard of Mars Hill Church?"
I said, "Rob Bell's church in Michigan?"
She said, "No, I don't think so. I think it's a church in Seattle."
I said, "No. Never heard of it."
She said, "I've been seeing all sorts of things on social media about this podcast called The Rise & Fall of Mars Hill. So I listened to the first episode today and it's insane. I think you would find it fascinating."
And just like that, I subscribed to the podcast and eventually listened to the entire thing
All because my wife suggested I would like it...
In my head - this is the best case scenario - recommending CDT to your spouse and them deciding to check it out on their own time
Because other scenarios are a bit more touchy...
Like these:
A wife is in an argument with her husband and toward the end of it she throws out, "Maybe if you listed to the Transcend Human Podcast you wouldn't be like this!"
Or how about this one:
A husband notices his wife struggles with something from her past, so he says, "You just can't seem to get over that...maybe if you listened to the Transcend Human Podcast you would get it figured out faster..."
See what I mean?
Transcend Human, and Conscience Driven Therapy are self help tools - but when you start throwing them at people - they can go from being helpful, to harmful in that moment
Now, I'm sure there have been situations where a person told another person about something like CDT in a moment of anger and it changed the other persons life...eventually...
But I venture to say this is the exception and not the rule
So stick with scenario 1:
In normal, everyday conversations...
Something like, "So I found this podcast the other day and I've been listening to it in the car on the way to work. It's crazy good and the guy is so intelligent..." Okay, scratch that part...
But you know what I mean? "I found something I like, it's really changed my perspective on some things. I think you'd like it."
Drop the mic - done...
At that point you've opened the door - and it's up to that person whether or not they open it
The next group is our kids - but I'll need to split this up into age groups in order to make it more helpful:
Starting with the youngest - the toddlers and preschoolers:
Roughly ages 1-5
They're working on movement and coordination, along with changes in intellect, socialization and emotional range
Basically - they are little sponges - soaking up all their environment has to offer them
So when it comes to adult concepts like Conscience Driven Therapy - more is caught than taught
They see how we act and they assume that is normal behavior for them to engage in
So since we aren't verbally teaching them these things - here are some high level concepts we can get across at this stage:
The concept that there is a Higher Power:
At this point they won't fully understand it - but we can start by doing little things like:
Praying with them when we put them to bed
Reading simple books to them with helpful themes like love, kindness and sharing
We can attend a church where there is programming for little kids - where they'll hear stories repeated like the ones they hear at home
The concept that they are loved and have value:
Again - they won't immediately tie this to God, and the fact that He created them
But we get to show them what it means by the we love and value them
Appropriate physical touch: hugs, kisses, holding them, allowing them to play around you, on you and in your personal space
Redirecting them in their interactions with their siblings - showing them that each is valuable and deserves to be loved
The concept of consistency, and follow through:
We can be helpful to our kids by being consistent in the way we act, in the tone of our voice and in the love we show
This provides them with safety and security
They can start to expect things - because they happen consistently
Next, we can provide consistent follow through
If we tell our kids they will get a time out for throwing food on the floor - we need to put them in time out when it happens
If we're consistent in our follow through they learn that there are consequences to the things they do
I'm sure there are many more - but let's move on
Next we have Elementary age kids:
From 1st to 5th Grade
In the early school years our kids start to learn confidence, they experience success and failure, and the begin to learn problem solving skills. They access their creativity and they experience the positive aspect of getting results from their efforts
At this stage I would suggest things can be caught and taught
Our kids watch us like hawks - and they are still learning by our actions what is right and what is wrong
So if we want them to learn good things from our behavior we need to make sure we are always on - modeling the behavior we expect out of them
And at the same time - our kids are able to hear the things we say and make sense of them
So we can begin to teach them concepts that will be helpful to them later in life
Here are some next level things we can teach our Elementary kids from Conscience Driven Therapy:
We should start having discussions with our kids about the Big 3 Questions:
Where did we come from?
Why are we here?
Where are we going?
These questions will undoubtedly bring up conversations about the following:
The concept of good and evil - God and Satan
The Fall
The Sin Virus
Voting in the Eternal Election
The Human Condition
Heaven and Hell
At this point our kids are old enough to have heard most of the big Bible stories - so why not have conversations about them at home?
Next, we can start having conversations with our kids about things like:
Control: Things we CAN and CANNOT control in life
Reframing: The idea that we have the freedom to choose what we focus on:
Bad things from the past, or present
-or-
positive things - things we can influence in the present and future
Rational Thinking: We can start teaching the the basics behind the cognitive therapies - concepts like:
Life isn't fair, so don't expect it to be
People and events don't make us angry - we make ourselves angry
Our thoughts and beliefs drive our emotional and behavioral responses to things
Our thinking can be faulty, irrational and get us into trouble
Being Proactive vs. Reactive:
Helping them see that they can choose how they want to respond in situations
They can decide in advance what type of person they want to be
Introduce the idea of having a Life Plan
Next we have the Teenager group:
And to streamline things, we'll just clump Middle School and High School together
Not because they're exactly the same
Obviously there is a lot that changes between 13 and 18
But when it comes to their ability to understand concepts and ideas - they're pretty close
So how can we take the concepts from Conscience Driven Therapy to the next level with this age group?
Add color to the Controversy Concept:
By this age our kids probably understand the concept of God, Satan and the fact that they represent good and evil in the world
But the next level is to help them understand Spiritual Warfare:
The fact that it's a battle going on behind the scenes every single day of our lives
And that the battle - though behind the scenes - has a very real impact on us - in the real world
Now is a good time to discuss Satan's Game Plan: Which is Revenge Against God
And God's Game Plan: The Rescue Mission
At this age teenagers believe two things:
That they know it all
That they are invincible
Now this makes our lives as parents very difficult
Because when we start talking about things like this - we're pushing back on both of those beliefs
We're suggesting we know things that they don't
We're reminding them that life is NOT a given - they aren't invincible - they can make very poor decisions that lead to devastating consequences at time immediately
So as I said - these are difficult conversations:
Maybe they happen in very small chunks - tidbits they can chew on and think about
Maybe they happen only after there is an open ended question from the teenager - at a time when they seem genuinely open to our opinion about such things
This is the delicate balance...
Expand on the importance of living with Values: We threw out these 4: TRUTH / TRANSPARENCY / GROWTH / LOVE
Within these 4 Values we can have conversations about:
Absolute Truth
Living Controversy Aware
Living with Transparency
Being Proactive vs. Reactive
Being a Lifelong Learner
Moving from a Consumer to Contributor
Understanding How Much We are Loved
Living with the "Other's First" Mindset
Have Transparent conversations:
We need to show our teenagers that nothing is off the table
Our homes are a safe place - and they can talk to us about the hard stuff
Allow them to be transparent without you dumping your values and judgments on them
And be willing to be transparent with them
What if your 17 year old daughter asked you if you were a virgin before you got married?
And you weren't?
You have two options right?
You can lie - and say you were - and now there is a barrier built between you and your child - a missed opportunity for you to take one step closer to each other
Or you can be honest and say, "No, I wasn't, and I regret it now."
Or maybe that's a lie as well! Maybe in order to be honest you need to say, "No, I wasn't, and to tell you the truth I really haven't thought that much about it."
At the end of the day - your honesty might just be the thing your daughter needs in order to make her own decision - to listen to her conscience and do what she believes is right for her
Now that's just one of the many conversations you could have with your teenagers - think of all the possibilities 🙂
Maybe this is where you have conversations about Landmines & Minefields - letting your teenager open up about things that happened to them that were traumatic
Now, important caveat here:
Do NOT be your teenagers therapist
I can't say this strongly enough - if your teenager opens up to you about something as painful as sexual abuse - that's a miracle! But them asking you to help them work through it is nearly non-existent
If they divulge this type of information to you - be thankful, listen, be supporting and do the next right thing:
The first thing might be reporting the abuse to authorities
But for sure - find a therapist who your child can tell everything - and begin the healing process with
Hammer home the Locus of Control and Freedom of Choice concepts:
As our teens get closer and closer to 18 they need to be making more and more of the decisions themselves
We've talked before about the way to do this. Here is the 4 step process:
I do - you watch
I do - you help
You do - I help
You do - I watch
Now think of this in terms of years of life...
Step 4 should be happening either toward the end of junior year, and for sure during their senior year of high school!
If this isn't the case - what happens to your teenager when they leave home for college?
How do you think that first year is going to go?
Total freedom - but with little to no decision making skills
Dangerous to be sure
So if Step 4 happens in the last two years of high school - just work your way back for Steps 3, 2 and 1
This is the Freedom of Choice part we're talking about - teaching them to make good decisions with the freedom they have to choose
The Locus of Control part is a bit different:
Locus of Control isn't the actual control they have
It's the perceived level of control
How much control they believe they have in life
Believe it or not - this is something we can teach them as teenagers
It comes along for the ride when we're handing over more and more freedom
We have conversations about the fact that there are things in life you CANNOT control
These are the things you need to understand and think rationally about
Then there are a host of other things you CAN control
Meaning - you do have a high level of control over your life
And in these areas - it's important to make good choices, to be proactive, to plan ahead and to work toward the life you want to have
This reinforces Locus of Control - and helps them understand that we're passing the baton to them
If your teenager is a real go getter - they may be willing to complete a Personalized Plan of Attack (PPA):
Nothing says Locus of Control and being Proactive like a PPA
It's them doing the hard work of analyzing their lives
Choosing how they want to view their pasts
Determine their weaknesses and blindspots
Figuring out where they may have some irrational thoughts or beliefs
And determining People, Places & Things that will be helpful to them and their future
Live life through the Transcend Human filter:
Like we talked about last week
What if you started having conversations with your teenager about the Human Condition?
All parts of it - Excellent >> Good >> Neutral >> Bad >> Ugly
Call things what they are!
Be willing to discuss the spiritual implications - how the event or situation plays into the Controversy
And couch life decisions in terms like this:
Does this help me rise above the Human Condition?
Does this choice Transcend Human?
etc.
And that's it...
Wow...that was a lot more than I was going to say about using CDT in the family setting...
But I couldn't help myself - I kept going back to the Transcendent Parenting Series and finding gems to include here.
At any rate - hopefully that was helpful to you. I truly believe CDT can be extrapolated for use with any age group - and can be instrumental in how we parent, and in how we equip the Next Generation.
// 3. CDT FOR THE WORLD
Okay - so we talked about using CDT in our own lives and the lives of our family members.
But what about using it with other people?
Now before you get all weirded out on me - I'm not talking about pushing people, brainwashing people, or manipulating them with CDT
I'm really talking about two things:
Modeling it - showing people that CDT works for you by your lifestyle
Being able to explain CDT to people if they ask you what it's all about
But before we talk about these two things - I wanted to bring Guy Kawasaki back into the conversation.
In the Minute of Transparency I called him a Venture Capitalist, and a former employee at Apple.
But what I left out was his official title when he worked at Apple...
According to Wikipedia - Kawasaki worked in the marketing department at Apple - and popularized the word "evangelist."
He became known as an "Apple Evangelist" - and apparently he likes the name because to day he is the "Chief Evangelist" for a little graphics application called Canva.
So what does it mean to be an evangelist?
Well, according to forbes.com in an article titled: Why Every Tech Company Needs A Chief Evangelist
They discuss the difference between traditional sales, and being an evangelist:
The article quotes Kawasaki saying things like:
Evangelism isn't a job title, it's a way of life. - Guy Kawasaki
I had to “...protect and preserve the Macintosh cult by doing whatever I had to do.” - Guy Kawasaki
The dots connect all the way back to the point of why you exist: your customers.
To paraphrase Steve Jobs, "you have to start with the customer and work back to the technology," and an evangelist brings that to life.
Evangelism creates a human connection with buyers and consumers to technology way beyond typical content marketing means because there's a face and a name relaying the story, expressing the opinion, and ultimately influencing a decision.
So ultimately - it was Guys Kawasaki, his name, his face, his charisma, and his story that helped sell Apple products.
Because he lived it, breathed it, and told everyone he knew about it.
Now...the title of this episode is: Becoming a CDT Ambassador
So I want to head that direction by defining the difference between an Evangelist and an Ambassador.
Now - if you look up the definitions you might get picky and tell me I have it backwards...but hear me out.
If Guy Kawasaki was the Chief Evangelist for Apple - I'm going to say that an evangelist is a person paid by a company to promote the product or service with every fiber of their being.
And all of the people who heard Guy speak, and drank the Kool-Aid became his army of ambassadors - people who went back home, and back to their workplaces and bought Apple products, or requested that their IT Department start moving from PC to Mac.
At least that's the way we're going to use the two words today...
In the case of Conscience Driven Therapy - I'm the Chief Evangelist - because there's only me. If I wasn't talking it up, explaining the power behind it, promoting it on the podcast - nobody would be - right? 🙂
So if I'm the Chief Evangelist - I'm asking you to be CDT Ambassadors.
To take what you've learned, and use your story to help others understand what it's all about.
Now, I don't have an elevator pitch all written and polished for you. There's nothing for you to memorize so you're ready to go in a moments notice.
At the end of the day it's your story that matters. It's telling a friend that you found something that has helped you:
Change your world view
Think more rationally
Reframe your past
And live a life with a higher level of purpose and meaning
And if all these things are true - there's a chance that's why you're having the conversation in the first place. Because your friend saw something different in you. They saw a change - for the better and they asked about it.
So Let’s land the plane:
When I really decided I wanted to start writing - I listened to numerous podcasts and read quite a few books on what that meant to other people. How it worked for them. The type of person you had to become. The lifestyle you had to lead in order to see your dream come true.
To a person, they talked about things like:
Having a shadow career - the job you have in order to live
Then - the writing happened outside of that
For most people early in the morning - almost every morning - getting into a rigid routine that in time produced results
Before they knew it they had a draft finished - and were on to the next step in the process
All things I believe to be true - because I've seen it play out in my own journey.
But the thing I learned in all this research about being an Evangelist, or an Ambassador for my written work can be described using the formula below:
Provide the Genre >> Then the Master Work >> Then the Distinction
So how does this work? Well let's do a few so you get the idea.
Let's say I was J.F Lawton and I was pitching my screenplay "Under Siege" to a movie studio.
I might start like this: "This is an action thriller. Think Die Hard, but on a Battleship."
Action thriller is the genre
Die Hard is the Master Work
And the distinction is that it happens on a Battleship vs. in a City Skyscraper
I'm sure you get it - but let's do one more:
Let's say you're anyone trying to get a film made about a submarine...
You'll probably say this: "This is an action film. Think Hunt for Red October, only not a Russian crew trying to defect. A group of mercenaries steal an old German submarine, and are heading for Los Angeles to carry out a terror attack on the US."
See how it works?
So what if we did that for Conscience Driven Therapy?
As the Chief Evangelist I would put it this way: "Conscience Driven Therapy is a nonfiction, Big Idea concept. Think Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, only with spirituality thrown in as an added benefit."
And there you have it!
Maybe that's the elevator pitch after all:
Conscience Driven Therapy is a nonfiction, Big Idea concept
A self help philosophy that you can use, or a therapist could use with his or her clients
It is a combined approach to health and healing
The combination of spirituality and psychology
It believes in the fundamental teachings of the Christian faith
It comes out of the foundational work called Controversy Theory
And it leverages tried and true cognitive behavioral treatment modalities like CBT and REBT
And that's it. That's how you become a CDT Ambassador.
You live it yourself
You incorporate it into your family and your parenting
You share it with others
Pass It On. Pay It Forward. Be a Guide.
This week, there are no questions...
Only the ask. I'm asking you to share CDT with one person this week. Assuming it's been helpful to you of course.
It's as simple as telling someone your story
And sending them to TranscendHuman.com
Under the "Resources" tab you'll find all of the series we've done
Simple as that
And that's a wrap - another series in the can.
One final piece of info. I just wanted to let everyone know that I removed the Patreon Page. I thought it was the next logical step in the process. But when I got in and really tried to make it work - I wasn't impressed - not a fan.
If you were willing to pay for a membership - the Patreon platform is not what I would have wanted you to get for your money.
So as of today - I've posted all of the tools we talked about in the series on the CDT landing page on the website.
Here's the direct link if you're interested: https://transcendhuman.com/conscience-driven-therapy
As always, I want to thank each and every one of you for choosing to hang out with me for this series.
It's been a long and tedious journey pulling all of this content together - but I'm so excited that it's finally out there in the world.
Who knows what's on the horizon for Controversy Theory and Conscience Driven Therapy. I would love for them to become companion books someday - and to see them on the shelves of your local Barnes & Noble. But that's for another day!
Next week we pick back up with another episode of the Transcend Human podcast - discussing felt need topics that help us rise above the Human Condition.
Until then - have a great week - and as always - keep Transcending Human!