107 | Transcending 2022
Date: March 21, 2022
Welcome back to the podcast!!!
Minute of Transparency: The Best Year Ever...
Today's Topic: Transcending 2022
This is NOT going to be a New Years Resolution episode...I'm simply going to throw three things out there - things we can try to incorporate into our lives this year:
Ask better questions
Find your vibe
Stretch yourself
// 1. ASK BETTER QUESTIONS
I can't even remember where I heard this. It was probably on a podcast - since I spend a lot of my time listening to them. But for some reason I didn't write down the reference. I just scratched myself a note that said, "Ask better questions..." with a few rough details on what it meant...
So that's what I'm running with in this section:
The idea that we ask a lot of questions, every single day
And the idea that some of them may not be the right questions
Or the idea that we may be asking one version of a question when we could be asking a better version of the same question
Whatever the case - let's talk about questions...
Starting with the hypothesis first - the idea that every day we spend a big chunk of our time asking questions. Or to put it another way - we spend a big chunk of our time looking for answers.
Let me illustrate...
It starts the minute the alarm goes off in the morning:
Do I want to get out of bed?
Do I have time for breakfast?
When is my first Zoom call?
What should I wear based on the things I'm doing today?
What's the weather going to be like today?
Does that change what I wanted to wear?
Am I leaving the house?
Or am I working from home all day?
Do I have time to fit a shower in there somewhere?
Do I have time to exercise today?
Did my friend ever get back to me about the movie tonight?
I wonder if it's a good movie to begin with?
Oh...we should probably eat before the movie right?
I wonder where we should eat?
I wonder if my friend will be willing to pick the restaurant?
Should we see if more people want to go with us?
Man is it cold in this house - did we turn the heat down last night?
I wonder what it's set at?
Is that a phone ringing?
No - actually it's my alarm going off again...
Now the crazy thing about this illustration is that every single question was asked fell between hitting snooze and our alarm going off the second time!
And if that's true - how many questions do you think we ask in a full day?
Hundreds? Thousands? Hundreds of thousands?
Let's just leave it at a lot...
It's obvious from the illustration that we're questioners. It's in our DNA - it's how we interface with the world around us.
Questions stem from a lack of knowledge about something. And once we have the answer - we're able to proceed with the new information.
For example - in the illustration above: The person lacked knowledge about the movie. So in order to answer the question, they'll probably Google it, watch a trailer, and read some reviews until they feel more confident. Now, if the friend asks about the movie - the person could say, "Well, it seems like other movies we've seen and liked. And it has a 4 star rating. So I think it's worth seeing."
Now think of the hundreds of thousands of times each day we go through this process!
We have a question, we find the answer, and we act upon that new information.
Over and over and over again.
Every problem we solve during the day is us finding the answer to a question. At home, at work and in the world around us.
Another illustration: We're in a parking spot when a delivery truck pulls behind us in order to make a delivery:
Problem: We can't get out of our parking spot
Question: How am I going to get out of this parking spot?
Answer: Multiple options:
Find the driver and ask him or her to move
Wait it out
Call the police on the driver
Back into the truck and create an even bigger problem 🙂
How many of these situations do we face each and every day?
Okay - now that we have that straight - let's dig a bit deeper and suggest that there are levels to our questions...
Let's say there are:
Good questions
Better questions
The Best questions
Notice I started with "Good" - why did I do that? Because there are no dumb questions - right?!
Surely you learned that in school as I did?
And if there are no dumb questions, then all questions must at least start out at "Good."
At least that's my story and I'm sticking to it...
So what's the point right? A question is a question - why are we splitting hairs and putting them into buckets?
Well, because we have options...because we have freedom of choice...and because we get to determine how we experience the Human Condition.
This means there can be different versions of the same question! Depending on our world view. Depending on how we want to experience the Human Condition.
Don't believe me? Well, let's walk through a few examples and see if I can't change your mind:
Let's start with something simple like, "What am I going to do today?"
Would you believe me that there is a good, better and best way to ask this question?
Let's try it and see:
Good: What am I going to do today in order to have fun?
Better: What am I going to do today in order to fulfill all my responsibilities?
Best: What am I going to do to make this world a better place?
Now if you're paying attention you noticed two things:
We added something to the original question
The thing we added was the motivation behind the question - the purpose, or the meaning behind it - the end goal
Now again - we said our questions would be different because our world views are different - and that's true.
If your world view is survival of the fittest - your question will focus on what you can get by when.
If your world view is to make the world a better place - your question might focus on what you can give to others.
Next example: How should I respond to the nasty Instagram comment on my recent post?
Again:
Good: How can I respond to the nasty Instagram comment so that person understands they were rude and deserves to be called out to the rest of the community?
Better: How can I respond to the nasty Instagram comment to try and understand why they said what they said?
Best: Should I respond to the nasty Instagram comment in the first place? And if so, what could I say to show love and diffuse the tension?
Final example: My current friend group has been making fun of kids who are different than us - what should I do?
Again:
Good: How can I avoid being different so I can stay friends with the people in my group?
Better: How can I speak up so my friends know I'm not on board with the things they are saying?
Best: Should I be in this friend group? If I'm not able to encourage better behavior in my group - is this the right group for me?
So based on those examples it should be pretty obvious what we're talking about.
It all goes back to the idea behind Transcend Human. What does it look like to rise above the Human Condition.
Because the Human Condition - the world around us - is ok with asking the Good questions. But they aren't that into the Better or Best questions.
Because Good questions are fine - they help you get what you deserve, they protect you, they help you become all you want to be. In fact, asking the Better or Best questions can get you into trouble - you might lose things, or have to give certain things up. And other people might get things that were coming your way.
Now...I know...I'm painting a pretty bleak picture right now...
Good questions, in my scenarios, appear to be 100% selfish - asking, "What's in it for me?"
Better questions start to ask, "What's the right thing to do?"
And the Best questions take the highest road by asking, "What can I do for others, and how can I make the world a better place?"
But don't hear me say that Good is bad - and we all need to get to Best. That's just not realistic.
I would suggest this:
If all we ever ask are Good questions - what would it look like to add some Better and Best in there from time to time?
What if we spread out our questions over the three a bit more evenly?
Because at the end of the day - it's good to ask some Good questions every now and then.
If you're stressed out at work a Good question might be: What can I do just for myself in order to keep my stress from spiraling out of control?
That is a very selfish question right? It's about me and my wellbeing. But at the same time, it's important. God doesn't expect us to become door mats that collect everyone else's dirt.
Even the airlines know this - they tell you to put your oxygen mask on before trying to help another person. Why? Because if you aren't healthy - you're not going to be very helpful to others.
And - I don't believe we're supposed to walk through life choosing the right thing for others every minute of our lives. I believe God wants us to enjoy the world He created:
This means doing things that are fun
Going to movies
Listening to great music
Taking vacations
Exploring nature
Hanging with family and friends
All good things - things that stem from Good questions like, "How can I enjoy my world today?"
So don't stop doing that!
But we can all stand to add in a few Better and Best questions to our lives - right?
To rise above the Human Condition?
To ask more "Controversy Aware" questions?
To ask more questions that put other people first?
To ask more questions that help make the world a better place?
// 2. FIND YOUR VIBE
If you're like me, I'm guessing you had your vibe going in 2019.
I had a pretty good idea where I came from, I had a pretty good idea who I was, and what my day-to-day looked like. And I had a rough idea where I wanted to go in the future.
Then COVID happened. And the global pandemic threw a wrench into all of that. For over two years it made us question everything. And if you're like me - the vibe was the first thing to go.
The calm, the structure, the consistent, the things we could count on. All of that went out the window.
We all sat in shock and awe as the very fabric of society crumbled in front of us.
And when you're not sure what life is going to be like from day to day it's hard to develop your vibe, or keep it going.
Now things could be worse. Just ask anyone in the Ukraine right now. Dealing with COVID is one thing. Living in a country being invaded by another country is instability on a whole different level.
I actually feel bad talking about COVID - given the things the Ukrainian people are going through.
But maybe I can talk about both. The instability we experienced due to COVID and the instability the world is feeling right now thanks to Russia invading the Ukraine.
Both combined have interrupted the vibe we had going.
So my recommendation is this: Find Your Vibe in 2022
Given all of the craziness in the world around us - find the vibe that works for you and stabilizes you.
I'm going to recommend two directions when it comes to your new vibe:
Do more
Do less
You'll need to pick the one that works best for you - given your situation.
Let's start with Do more:
If you're the type who as been floating along doing very little for the past few years, this might be you
If you feel like you have no direction
If you don't feel like you're contributing to anything
It might be time to do more - this might be your 2022 vibe
Find a new career, start a new job, add a side hustle
Start putting yourself out there again and create work for yourself
Sometimes having things to do and being part of a team can be stabilizing
Now let's move to Do less:
Maybe you're the opposite
You've been running at a high level for the past few years
Maybe COVID didn't impact your job at all - or maybe it actually ramped up your responsibilities
If this is the case - you might need to look into doing less
Work in times of silence and solitude
Create protected time each day to unwind
Take days off here and there for self care - whatever that looks like for you:
For some this is a spa day
For others this might be sitting on the couch all day reading a good book
For others it means going on a hike, or camping - spending time in nature
If this is your 2022 vibe - start the process today
Now before we leave this section I want to throw one more in for good measure. I don't see anything wrong with Do both:
Maybe for you, it isn't picking one or the other
Maybe it can be both/and
Maybe you're in a position to take on some new responsibilities AND at the same time be more intentional with your time
Start a new job and focus on self care
Nothings says this can't be your vibe in 2022
After all - it's all about balance right?
Too much of a good thing is a bad thing
Too much of a bad thing is a really bad thing
So whatever the case this year - whatever bucket you find yourself in - take your next right step in that direction.
// 3. STRETCH YOURSELF
So this will overlap a bit on what we just talked about.
Because in the process of Doing less, Doing more or Doing both. You may have to stretch yourself.
Finding your 2022 vibe may not be as easy as discovering a new artist on Apple Music, or a new show on Netflix.
It might take some effort on your part to make it happen.
But when I talk about Stretching Yourself - I want to focus less on the idea of working more or working less. I want to talk about our personalities, our interests, our untapped talents, hobbies, passions, pursuits, etc.
What is something know you can do but you're just not doing?
Can you write books?
Can you write poetry?
Can you sing? Dance? Act?
Do you know how to build things?
Are you good with a camera?
Do you have a good radio voice (unlike me) and think you could do voiceovers?
Do you have a Big Idea inside you - screaming to get out?
For me - this was Controversy Theory, Conscience Driven Therapy, The Trilogy, and Transcend Human
Do you have a talent you could give back to the community?
Coaching a little league team?
Teaching a free classes at your local Civic Center or YMCA?
Volunteering at a local nonprofit, or at your church?
I'm just spitballing here - pulling these ideas out of the air - the first things that come to mind.
So obviously, this list is NOT all inclusive. There are thousands of things we could add to the list. And your thing would be on it if you explained it to me so I could get it added in 🙂
The point is this - there are things in life that we can do to add richness and flavor to the life we're living.
Some of these things might be obvious to us:
For example, if I grew up writing - it's not a stretch for me to actually try writing bigger things in the future
If I played soccer all the way through college - it's not a stretch for me to think I could coach the next generation of soccer players
Now I say it's not a stretch, because you instinctively understand you have the ability. But the stretch comes in actually doing it. Moving from inactivity to activity.
And on the other side of the fence - there are things that stretch us completely. Things we have no idea how to do, or had no interest in - things that come out of the blue and become big pieces of our lives:
For example, someone why never painted a day in their life decides to take an art class - falls in love with painting - and starts painting every weekend from that point on
Or a person with very little photography experience buys a DSL-R camera, watches hundreds of online tutorials and starts shooting weddings for the fun of it
These are 100% stretch opportunities, because it's a completely new thing AND it requires time and energy in order to learn it and then do it.
So what does this look like in real life? Well, let's finish up with a couple stories...
The first story is about Rob Bell. Now I'm going to summarize the story, but if you want the entire story in his words you can head over to the RobCast.
The episode is called: With Almond Milk: https://robbell.podbean.com/e/with-almond-milk/
The RobCast is one of the podcasts I listen to on a regular basis - and this episode was released at the perfect time - as it helps explain what I mean when we talk about Stretching Ourselves...
So long story short - Rob tells his Coffee Story:
He starts by revealing that he had never drank coffee a day in his life
In fact - I'm not sure he even tried it one time
Now Rob is 51 years old (fun fact: he's 3 months older than me)
So at age 51 - my question is this:
If you made it this far not drinking coffee - why would you think to change?
What would make drinking coffee even seem like a next step in your life?
But back to his story...
He explains that he isn't even sure why he never tried coffee:
Maybe he had smelled it before and assumed it wouldn't taste good
Or at some point he may have learned about the effects of caffeine and didn't want to start something he would eventually need
But whatever the case - one morning this year - he woke up and decided - I'm going to go get coffee this morning for the first time...
He then tells a short story about purchasing a book from a beloved author on Yemen and the coffee bean trade - so he admits there may have been a subconscious thing going on there
So he drives to the coffee shop and fumbles through his order with the barista - eventually landing on his first drink: A Latte with almond milk
He then goes on to explain his first sip, and the eye-opening experience he had
Something so many people take for granted - but one he experienced for the first time in that moment
Fun right? Such a great example of a way you can stretch yourself. Doing something new - experiencing something different.
The next story is personal - because it's a me story something that happened to me and my family...
We'll just call it The Jeep Story...
All my life I've had a love/hate relationship with Jeeps.
One the one hand - I loved the concept - small, agile, capable 4x4s that are versatile in terms of the top coming off, the doors coming off, roll bars in case you - well, roll over...
But on the other hand - Jeep was bought out by the Fiat Chrysler Corporation (now called Stellantis) - makers of vehicles like Dodge, Chrysler, Fiat and Ram Trucks. All brands I grew up viewing as less than well made. A good vehicle was built by Chevrolet, then came Ford vehicles and at the bottom came any Chrysler product.
So with this viewpoint - my mind was preemptively made up about Jeeps. They were a Chrysler product so I would never own one.
Fast forward to 2020.
My wife has always had a thing for convertibles. She would joke about it- saying, "When kids grow up and moving out, I'll finally be able to trade the minivan in for a convertible."
I say it was a joke - because she would always follow those statements up with, "No - I'll probably never have a convertible because they are too expensive and not very practical."
Then one day, out of the blue she said, "I think we need a Jeep Wrangler." And this was her reasoning:
It was another vehicle - which we needed at the time - having another legal driver in the house
It was able to hold 5 people along with room in the back for stuff
It was technically a convertible - which would allow her to check that box off her bucket list
That created a dilemma for me - to be sure.
The thought of purchasing a Chrysler product made me cringe.
However - I was also pretty picky about foreign cars. I grew up with Hondas - and told myself I would never drive a Toyota - until I did.
I purchased a 2014 Toyota Camry SE and fell in love with it - just in time for my oldest daughter to take it away from me when she went to college...
And if I broke that rule - maybe I could break this one as well...
So I relented - and my wife immediately started looking for used Jeep Wranglers:
She quickly realized buying one in California wasn't an option - as they hold cult status here - and prices are much higher for that reason
So she did a nation wide search - and eventually found one she liked in Holland, MI - 45 minutes from my parents home
They drove up, went on a test drive and the rest as they say is history
We signed the paperwork via FedEx while on vacation in Florida
Then my son and I diverted our flights to Michigan to pick up the Jeep and drive it across the country
Three days later the Jeep was officially in California and part of our family
So why am I telling this story? I mean buying a car is a pretty common thing right? I imagine some of you are actually trying to decide how much longer you can stand listening to this episode...
But this is only half the story - the setup - the historical information upon which to tell the real story...
Which is all about the Jeep Wrangler Culture. Something we knew nothing about until we had it home and started driving it.
What am I talking about? Well, here is just a small taste:
The Jeep Wave:
It's a thing - if you drive past another Jeep it's customary to throw the peace sign
Letting them know you see them, and that you drive in solidarity with them
At least that's what I think it means 🙂
The Jeep Aftermarket Websites:
Jeep Wranglers are almost like LEGO trucks - where you can add things, remove things, modify things
And because of this - there are numerous online outlets that will sell you these modifications
I'll be honest - I've done a few - and it's addictive
Which incorporates another part of the Jeep Culture which is to swipe the credit card and figure out where the money's coming from later...
Ducking a Jeep:
The concept here is similar to the Jeep Wave
You purchase a bunch of small, rubber duckies
You personalize them in some way
Then when you're out and about, if you see a Jeep you like, you leave one somewhere on the vehicle
We've been ducked once - but have yet to purchase ducks of our own...
I know - bad Jeep owner...
Jeep Jamborees:
These are massive annual events where hundreds and thousands of Jeep owners from around the globe travel to one location to share in a shared vacation if you will with likeminded people
I've seen pictures of these events where 6 lane highways are completely Jeep Wranglers for as far as the eye can see
And images of campground locations no unlike Woodstock where entire valleys are full of Jeeps, tents and campfires
Not high on my list of things to do - but part of the culture to be sure
Jeep Hair Don't Care:
I don't know that this is an actual thing - I've just heard the mantra and to me it summarizes a mindset you have to have if you're going to own a Wrangler
Because a Jeep isn't meant to be "atmospherically stable"
By that I mean a Jeep is NOT meant to be a Mercedes Benz where all doors seal perfectly and road noise is so faint you think you're standing still
In fact it's quite the opposite
Jeep's are meant to have the windows down, doors off and even fully topless as much as possible
And when you're exposed to the environment in this way you experience the cold, the heat, the humidity, the wind, the dust, the rain the snow, and any other environmental condition going on at the time
So if you're worried that your hair might get a bit wind blown - you better take the Mercedes
And that's it - that's the Jeep Story...
Again - something I never saw coming - and something that stretched me and our family in ways we didn't even understand at the time.
The Jeep played a fun little role on the life of our family while everyone was home during the pandemic.
And looking back - I would have kept it from happening if I hadn’t been willing to Stretch Myself.
Let's Land the Plane:
This week ask yourself the following questions about 2022:
What questions am I asking in life?
Are they Good? Better? Or the Best possible questions?
And are these questions helping me rise above the Human Condition?
Have I lost my vibe recently?
If so, what is my next step:
Do more?
Do less?
Do both?
And finally - how can I stretch myself this year?
Is there something I can start?
Is there something I can learn?
Should I try coffee for the first time?
Should I buy a Jeep Wrangler?
All good ideas as we dive headlong into this new year.
Thank you so much for joining us this week! It's so fun to be back doing one-off episodes like these.
I hope you've had a great Q1 so far - and that you are hopeful about the rest of the year.
Love having you on the journey with us.
Until next time, have a great week, and as always, keep transcending Human!