TP09 | Transcendent Parenting | Ruthless Parenting Assessment - Part 1
Date: October 25, 2021
Welcome back!
We are coming to the end of our series called Transcendent Parenting.
For those of you following along we're on our ninth episode! Can you believe it?!
For those of you just joining, here's where we've been so far:
Week 1: First things first - Strong Marriage
Week 2: Parenting isn't optional - Parenting is a high calling and that you have to be all in
Week 3: Parenting through the stages - Looking at the stages of development from infant to adult
Week 4: Parenting plan of attack - Being proactive vs. reactive in our parenting
Week 5: Sell your helicopter - what it could look like to stop being a helicopter parent
Week 6: Making Memories - how to turn negative events into memories you'll laugh about later
Week 7: Prep for launch - how to ensure they're ready to fly the coop
Week 8: The After Life - what it looks like to have adult children and join the parenting community
This Week: We're changing things up. We're calling it a Ruthless Parenting Assessment. Which basically means we're going to do a panel discussion with our kids - to see what they had to say about the content we covered in the series.
We sat around the dining room table and just had a good conversation. One that turned into 2h worth of content...
So this week we're actually releasing two episodes in one week. Both are around an hour - but both are connected - part of the same original conversation.
We're going to skip the Minute of Parenting Transparency...as I believe it will get fairly transparent in and of itself...
// 1. INTRODUCTIONS
Allison (Allie)
Rachel
Tyler
// 2. RUTHLESS PARENTING ASSESSMENT
Here are the first 5 questions from our conversation:
This one is pretty simple...When mom and I told you we were doing a podcast series on parenting - what was your reaction?
In Week 1 we did the old bait and switch:
Instead of jumping right in to parenting, we spent the entire episode talking about marriage
How to have a strong marriage
Why a strong marriage is so important in the parenting process
So here are a few questions related to our marriage:
What are some of the positive things you see when you look at us as a married couple?
Were there some things you didn't like, or things that concerned you about our marriage?
In Week 3 we talked about Parenting Through the Stages:
Now mom and I used to joke about the fact that she would do the bulk of the parenting when you were little, and then she would hand you off to me when you became teenagers...
But that was only because I worked with teenagers in the hospital setting at the time - and it definitely didn't go this way in reality...
So looking back at the stages: (Newborn/Toddler, Elementary, Middle School, High School, Adult Children)
In what stage did we do our best parenting?
What stage was the hardest for us?
In Week 4 we talked about having a Parenting Plan of Attack:
There were quite a few ides presented in that episode, but two really big ones based on the culture we tried to create in our home:
The first idea was the Just-Love Culture
The second was the idea that our home was a Safe Place
So the idea behind the Just-Love Culture is this:
There has to be Love, and there has to be Justice
Similar to the way God works with us right? He offers Grace and Truth
Love as well as Expectations (rules, guidelines and consequences when we miss the mark)
But Love has to come first - you have to be in a loving environment in order for the expectations to make sense
So talk a little about this idea - and do you feel it worked that way?
Were there times when you feel it didn't work this way?
Next, was the whole idea that our home was a Safe Place:
The idea that we understood mistakes would be made
Rule would be broken
But we weren't going to have our home be a place to try all of these things
Those things would be tried outside the home
And home would be the Safe Place where you could return to and know you were safe
Did you guys understand this concept? And do you feel like we lived by that rule?
Were there times when we broke this rule, or you didn't feel like home was the safe place we said it was?
In Week 5 we spent an entire episode talking about what it means to be a helicopter parent...
Parents who are over-involved in their kids lives
Fight their kids battles
Do everything to keep them from failing
Force them to keep moving forward with things like travel sports - in order to be more successful than we were at their age
All those things...
Were we helicopter parents? And if so - where did we fall for it the hardest?
Were there areas where we did a good job - and tried not to be helicopter parents?
Let's Land the Plane:
This being the last episode in the series - there are no follow up questions - only a bunch of thank you's...
First off - Tammy and I want to thank our kids for being willing to jump on with us today and be put on the spot like that:
We can't begin to tell you how proud we are of them
Not because we did such a great job parenting… :)
But because of who they turned out to be despite our parenting!
Tammy and I understand that our parenting is a drop in the bucket compared to the things God wants to do through them in the future
Next, I want to thank my wife for taking the time out of her crazy schedule to be here for this entire series! 10 episodes!
It was so fun putting this together with you
I love that we were able to share all of this content with our listeners, and that by putting it out there - someone might find help and support in this difficult calling to be parents
And finally - a special thanks to all of you - for hanging out with us during this series!
Have a great week - and as always - keep Transcending Human...
REFERENCES:
None this week…