143 | Transcending Passion
December 5, 2022
Minute of Transparency: Who Am I Anyway?
Today's Topic: Transcending Passion
Passion fruit
Get passionate
Taming your passions
// 1. PASSION FRUIT
So what's the first thing you think about when you hear the word "passion"?
Yup - me too. The passion that is related to love, sex and all things romance. Right?
"His passion burned inside of him."
"She could feel the passion of the moment."
"They kissed passionately."
I probably don't need to go further.
The word passion has been spoken for.
We all know that sex sells - and the concept of passion just comes along for the ride.
Romance novels. Romantic comedies. Perfume and cologne sales around the holidays.
Pretty much every article in Glamour, Vogue and Cosmo:
"Top 10 ways to keep the passion alive."
"How to make your man burn for you."
"The top 5 foods that light a fire in the bedroom."
Why was it so easy for me to come up with those titles?
Because the truth hurts - there is a reason why we stereotype things. Because over time the evidence shows itself.
For these magazines, sex sells. Passion sells.
But my friends...this isn't the passion we're talking about today.
So many of you will probably be signing off now 🙂 but that's ok.
Because we're going a different direction with it. A direction that is a bit more practical.
But back to the title of this section. Why "Passion fruit"?
No reason - other than to show that there are many uses for the word passion. In this case - a fruit.
// 2. GET PASSIONATE
So the passion we are talking about isn't as salacious. And it probably won't sell many magazines.
It's the passion within you. Not the passion for a person. It's the passion for a thing, a direction, a cause, a purpose in life.
How do you know you're passionate about it? Well, here are some indicators:
You think about this thing more than other things
You spend a lot of time doing this thing
You spend a lot of money on this thing
So back to the Minute of Transparency...
The whole reason I told you that story is because it documents me trying to find my passion:
Switching majors in college
Me going back to school to get my MSW
Switching careers at age 36
Constantly trying new things
Writing
And ultimately starting the Transcend Human Podcast
So why all the changes in direction? Probably because I was looking for something - chasing something.
The U2 song, "I still haven't found what I'm looking for." seems to say it best in this scenario.
I head off in one direction - thinking it will bring me satisfaction, and happiness. And when I get there I'm not satisfied, and often not very happy. So I turn the boat in a new direction and head that way for a while.
And on each of these little journeys, I learn something new. Experience new things. And all of this gets added to the giant databank of my life experiences.
At this point in time - I would describe my life this way:
I'm working at a job that pays the bills. I enjoy what I do - but I would still take a vacation day over a work day to be sure
At the same time - I'm doing something I feel passionate about - the Transcend Human Podcast - and the writing required to support it
If I run this through the indicators we discussed you'll see that it fits the bill:
I think about it all the time - Transcend Human has become a filter through which I experience the world these days
I spend a lot of time involved in activities surrounding the podcast:
Each week there is at least an hour or two of research
An hour or two - sometimes more in order to write the content for the episode
And then an hour or so in order to record, upload and publish the episode
And finally - the money I've spent:
Since January 2000 - here's what I've purchased:
Squarespace hosting
Amazon S3 storage for my .mp3 files
4 microphones
2 sets of headphones
A 4 person mobile audio interface just in case I ever wanted to record at a Starbucks, or on a mountain somewhere in Southern California...
A new, 2 person audio interface for the house so I can do in-person interviews with each participant having their own mic and headphones
So yes - I've spent some money on the podcast
Add it all up - and it seems like I may have found a passion area in my life.
Now - some of you may be asking, "If you're so passionate about it - why don't you just do it full time?"
Great question. A question that undoubtedly stems from mantras like this:
"If someone will pay you to do the thing you love you'll never work a day in your life."
On the surface - this sounds great. And if you believe you're this person - more power to you!
You are extremely lucky if your passion is also your career.
But this is the exception and not the rule. How do I know that?
Well - let's just look at writers - and see if we can find some answers there.
I listen to podcasts - a lot of them. And for a while I was hooked on writing podcasts.
Episodes produced by writers, for writers. And without fail - most of them talked about the transition from writing as a hobby to writing professionally. Getting to do the thing they love as their career.
So you would think that all of them were bragging, and super positive about the new lives they found right?
Not so much. Most of them weren't as positive as you would expect:
They talked about moving from "getting to write" to "having to write"
They talked about the fact that writers block was a small issue when writing for fun - but a massive problem when writing to live
They talked about the added pressures form publishers - requiring work be done by certain dates
And also the pressure to keep producing - having to write 5 books in the next 3 years for example
All things they now viewed as difficult - and taking away from the passion they once felt as a writer
So again - if you are living out your passion as your career - and you're not experiencing some of these side effects - good for you.
Don't ever start to take what you have for granted.
Now let's look at the other 98% of the world.
A random percentage to be sure - I'm just saying, a lot of people aren't passionate about their current job, or the career they find themselves in.
And yet - they aren't people without passion. That passion is still there - inside them - wanting so badly to get out.
Our 5y foster kiddo has been infatuated with the movie Tangled lately:
In the movie, Rapunzel finds herself in a dive bar full of tough, tatted men - drinking their afternoon away
Most of the men are missing a tooth or two
And most look like criminals who would snap you like a twig if you looked at them the wrong way
Because of this, the tension in the room grows - until Rapunzel hits a nerve. She starts talking about her dream to see the lanterns on her birthday. And that sets off a musical sequence called, "I've got a dream" where each of the men opens up about the dreams they have inside. The things they are passionate about - but haven't had the energy to start.
It's pretty funny - if you haven't seen it - check that out tonight - you won't regret it.
So back to the 98%...
Steven Pressfield describes this population as having "shadow careers."
And I love the way Jeff Goins explains it on his podcast. He summarizes it like this:
"The basic idea is that all of us have a true vocation in life, but most of us settle for something less—a “shadow” of the true thing. Almost every great writer and artist, at some point, had a shadow career, something they were good at that paid the bills but wasn’t their true calling. For example:
Ernest Hemingway was a war correspondent
Elizabeth Gilbert was a travel writer for magazines
Tim Grahl was a marketer of other people’s books
This is how the work begins. You get a sense that something is missing. So you leave the familiar in search of something else. You chase your calling and find something that looks a lot like it. It’s not exactly what you thought but close enough. Yes, this is how the work begins, but it is not how it ends. These are all good things, but they are shadows of a truer thing."
Now, I believe that this describes the rest of us - the 98%. Or at least part of the 98%
I would also be ok breaking the 98% into two camps:
A % who are ok with the way things are - people who may not like their current job or career - but have no other ideas - so they just deal - they just keep living life as if it will never change
And a % who know they are meant for something more. Some know this - but aren't sure what it is. Others know exactly what they were meant to do - and struggle with the tension of having the shadow career
Now Jeff Goins and Steven Pressfield have a pretty specific target audience. They're writing to artists. People who believe they should be writing, painting, singing, dancing - things like that.
And in my case - that is completely true. My shadow career is in the tech industry. But my true passion is content creation. Writing, and podcasting.
But it isn't always an art form that people are passionate about. A person could have a shadow career as a chemist - and deep inside they believe they were created to heal people as a physician.
Not something you can just start doing on the side - but you could start going to school on the side and work your way toward that goal!
In summary - many people are working to live - and are passionate about something altogether different.
// 3. TAMING YOUR PASSIONS
I couldn't just end there - and tell you to:
Chase your passions
Figure out what you love to do
And do more of that
If possible - do it all the time
Get someone to pay you to do what you love
Why? Seems reasonable punchline right?
Well, there is one other thing to chat about.
The fact that just because you're passionate about something - doesn't mean it's a god thing to pursue.
I was pretty passionate about alcohol at one point in my life.
Putin is pretty passionate about resurrecting the USSR
And Hitler was pretty passionate about ethnic cleansing
My point should be obvious.
Our passions fall on a spectrum.
On the one end they can be noble, positive and altruistic.
On the other end they can be selfish, sketchy and downright sinister.
So my recommendation is to first determine what it is you're passionate about and then determine what type of passion it is.
Ask these questions:
What are my internal motives?
Am I passionate about this for me? For my family? For the money? For the notoriety?
Does my passion harm anyone?
Does my passion make the world a better place? Or does it cause the world to become a little more chaotic?
Or you could use the Transcend Human approach.
Does your passion help you (and others) rise above the Human Condition?
Does it call you to a higher standard? Does the end result of your passion raise the bar for those around you?
Only then will your passion really come full circle - and provide an exponential return on your investment.
Two examples and then we'll wrap things up:
Let's say you're passionate about making movies:
Nothing inherently wrong with that passion
But the minute you get into the business you have decisions to make
You can choose to make entertaining movies that make the world a better place
Or you could make movies that peddle misinformation and create instability in the world
Of course there is everything in between
But you get it - you have options
Let's say you're passionate about guns:
Nothing inherently wrong with that either
But the same options exist
There is competitive shooting, hunting and teaching gun safety
Then there is the darker side of gun ownership
Carrying one in order to feel powerful
Looking for reasons to pull it out in order to display your dominance
Creating fear by promoting conspiracy theories
Joining militias or other groups where arming yourself for impending doom is the goal
Now I know - some of these issues have nothing to do with guns - they are deeper issues related to political and even religious ideation
But the interesting thing is that the people who are part of these communities often have a love for guns as well
Now - these are just two of many things we can get passionate about.
So how do your passions fall on the spectrum?
The things you think about, spend time doing and spend a lot of money on?
Are they making you and those around you better people? Are they making the world a better place to live in?
Or are they only benefitting you? Are they harming others? And are they making the world a more chaotic environment?
Let's Land the Plane:
This week I'll keep things simple by asking the following questions:
What are you passionate about? What is your passion fruit so to speak?
Are you actively pursuing that passion? If not - what would it look like to start it this week?
Have you evaluated your passion? What is your internal motivation and how does your passion impact others and the world?
Thankful that I get to do this each week with you.
Have a great week, and as always - keep Transcending Human!