135 | Transcending Perception

Transcend Human

Oct 3

Written By Daryl McMullen

October 3, 2022

Minute of Transparency: Brainwashed Living…

Today's Topic: Transcending Perception

Rose colored glasses
We see what we see
Taking off the glasses

// 1. ROSE COLORED GLASSES

TBH - this is very similar to Episode 120: Transcending Assumptions...

And I feel the need to distinguish between the two:

To me - an assumption is a judgment you make about a person, place or thing:
- This judgment is based on the beliefs you have, or the things you were taught
- And if you just asked a few difficult, open-minded questions you might not jump to the same conclusion
Perceptions - to me - are a bit more difficult to see:
- They say perception is reality
- Because research has shown the impact our perception can have on our life
- Positive people seem to heal faster from injuries
- A negative person living in poverty will most likely remain in poverty
- Things like that...
- Because the way we view our world impacts the choices we make and the risks we take - the belief we have that we can impact our future

So to me - our perceptions, or more specifically our false perceptions can be very dangerous.

But let me break it out even further by suggesting that we can view any situation in one of three ways:

Realistic View of Reality: See reality for what it is and act accordingly
Perceived View of Reality: Seeing reality from a slightly distorted point of view - and acting inappropriately due to that perception
Enhanced Perception of Reality: Reading into things that have no proof - predicting the future - or pre-judging situations based on perception - not reality

Obviously - the best scenario is the first one - living in reality and seeing it correctly every time.

However, I'm not sure anyone has the ability to do this consistently in every situation - every time.

The second isn't the best case scenario - but probably where many of us live.

Based on a distorted view of the world - we see things that aren't there and believe things that aren't true.

This may not affect other people - it may not cause problems - but we're living a lie on some level.

For me - I actually had black friends and viewed black people as equal to me. But that didn't change the fact that I believed the lie that there was a larger criminal element in the black community - one that I had to be wary of on some level.

Now the last one takes it to a new level.

Because Enhanced Perception isn't just seeing reality in a slightly incorrect way.

It's reading into things incorrectly. It's being prejudice, racist, hating people on the other side of the aisle politically.

Taking your slightly skewed view of the world and actually condemning people who don't see it the way you do.

I probably don't need to explain this to anyone who lived through the COVID Pandemic.

The political polarization, the conspiracy theories and the move toward extreme belief systems like fascism.

The good thing is that none of these world views is a life sentence. We don't have to live under these false perceptions forever.

We're simply viewing the world through rose colored glasses.

And we can take them off.

The way I did with my unfounded belief that black people were more dangerous than other people in some way.

Being open to new ideas, and having a willingness to confront the things you were taught in the past allows you to remove the glasses and see the world the way it really is.

And here's the truth: It isn't reality that's changing - it's our perception that's changing.

The world is as it is. History has happened - and it happened in a certain way.

So the only thing capable of changing is the way we view those things.

// 2. WE SEE WHAT WE SEE

So let's get practical here by looking at a few examples of the way our perceptions can alter our thinking and behaving.

The first example really hits home for me:

We'll refer to it as Driving Glasses
Basically the glasses we put on when we drive
How we view other drivers on the road
Or more importantly how we perceive them to be thinking and behaving
Here's the situation: A driver doesn't realize their highway exit is coming quickly so he or she has to cross three lanes very quickly to make the exit. One of the lane changes cuts you off and forces you to brake quickly:
- My immediate perception of the situation is that the person is an idiot, and that they probably did it on purpose - knowing it would force me to brake quickly
- But here's the crazy thing. For me, my Enhanced Perception kicks in even earlier - before the event even happens. I see the car put it's blinker on and I predict that they want to get to the exit
- And there's a part of me that wants to close the gap between me and the person in front of me to keep them from making the lane change
- Why? Because what I believe about the person - my perception - is that they are lazy, and incapable of planning to get in the right lane ahead of time
- And because of this - they need to learn a lesson - they need to be taught how to drive responsibly
- And this is the reason we have road rage...
- It's why people flip people off
- It's why people chase other people down
- And ultimately why some people pull guns on other drivers
It all comes down to our Perception, and our Enhanced Perception of the other drivers on the road
When they are a bit off - we tend to behave in ways that aren't based in reality
I fell into this numerous times in college
Getting so mad at other drivers that I did dumb things and made a fool out of myself at times

My second example is a bit darker:

We'll just refer to it as Political Glasses
The glasses we put on when we identify with a political party - or a divisive political issue like abortion, gun rights or gay marriage
Based on the type of glasses we wear - we can become overly involved, and even aggressive toward other people because of the filter we see through
It can cause us to spend countless hours on social media bashing those on the other side
And it can even lead to violent behavior toward people who don't believe the way you do
Now I'm not saying we need to all be middle of the road pacifists
But there is a big difference between the Republicans and Democrats of the 60's and 70's and the extremism we see today
Christian Nationalists on one end of the spectrum and the extreme Liberal Left that are willing to entertain pedofilia as a viable sexual preference
Unfortunately - social media has promoted these two ideologies as the predominant in our country - when that can't be farther from the truth
A HUGE part of this country lives in the middle of the road: Centrist if you will:
- Left leaning conservatives
- Right leaning liberals
The people who identify with the extremes actually make up a very small percentage of the population
But don't underestimate the power behind these extreme groups - because the leaders of these extreme groups are made up of powerful, and wealthy people - people in our government and large corporations that wield almost as much power

Now - these are just two examples of the way our perceptions and enhanced perceptions rule our thinking and behaving.

But this exists in so many other ways.

Our perceptions can drive the way we view:

Other races
Other genders
People in other religions
People from other countries
And even our view of the future - if we perceive good things as possible or if we perceive only bad things happening

So these are issues we have to face on a daily basis.

// 3. TAKING OFF THE GLASSES

So what does it look like to live a life without the rose colored glasses on?

What does it take to see reality for what it is?

Well, the cautious part of me thinks we may never get to that point.

We may never fully understand the truth of what's happening in the world until God comes back.

But in the little things - I do believe we can change - we can take the glasses off and see the world more clearly.

For me - it happened with the race thing. Pushing back against the cultural propaganda and opening my mind to the possibility that I was lied to.

And when I thought through it recently I came to the conclusion that it happened because of three things:

Age:
- I can't discount the fact that age changes things
- As you grow - as you mature
- As you see more and more of the world and how it works
- You can't help but ask questions and challenge the status quo
- You stop believing everything people taught you - and you start thinking on your own
- Life experiences, especially difficult ones like divorce, addiction, grief and loss
- All give you an enlightened view of the world around you
Deconstruction:
- In any area - but specifically religious deconstruction
- For me - I know my religious upbringing had a major role in the way I perceive the world
- And the more I see - the more I believe that this applies to many people
- The spiritual or religious things we were taught as mandatory in life forced us to view the world differently
- But over time we start to question those beliefs - and we realize how limiting some of them were
- Again - not just me. There is a wave of deconstruction happening all over the world right now
Rational Thought:
- The final way I moved from perception to reality is by thinking differently
- We spent a number of episodes talking about this in the Conscience Driven Therapy Series
- Based on cognitive treatment modalities like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy
- The truth is that we all have a tendency to think irrationally
- And there's a chance we're thinking irrationally because of the way we're perceiving the situation
- So in order to think rationally about things - we need to challenge, or dispute our beliefs
- Once this step is done - and we have new rational beliefs in place - we should be a whole lot closer to the reality of the situation
- And thinking rationally is the first step in removing negative emotions like depression, anxiety and anger

Going back to my illustrations of driving and politics:

When I changed my beliefs about other drivers:
- I became a lot less disturbed driver!
- My tendency toward road rage eventually disappeared
- And I have been able to enjoy my time in traffic a bit more than before
- Now don't get me wrong - I still have a twinge of road rage every now and then
- But I can pretty quickly assess where it is coming from - and deal with it right then and there
- When I remember that I have cut people off many times, made driving mistakes and failed to plan my next exit in advance - I'm able to give the other driver some grace
- California has also helped me drive with less anger
- When you have millions of people on the roads, it is actually easier to give people the benefit of the doubt
- You realize we're all in this mess together and we're all just trying to get to our next engagement...
And the same goes for politics:
- As we challenge some of the dogmatic beliefs we were force fed - and realize that we're all in this together
- We're more able to view the reality of the situation
- When we open our minds to the idea that we're all unique and we all come from different places - we're more capable of listening to others vs. shutting them down
- We look for the similarities in other people vs. capitalizing on the few differences

Let's Land the Plane:

Thanks for joining us again this week.

I'm still working on Tammy to join me on the podcast so we can talk about our journey with fostering. I think I have her convinced - but now it's figuring out how to sync both of our schedules in order to make it happen.

Hopefully we'll get that figured out here in the next week or two.

But today - thanks for joining me to talk about our perceptions and how they can jump up and bite us in the butt...

This week, ask yourself the following questions:

What are some perceptions you grew up with that you've changed?
Are there some areas in your life where you know you need to challenge the perceptions you have?
What do you need to do this week to change those inaccurate perceptions?

That's it folks! Thank you again for joining us this week. Absolutely love doing this each week.

Until next time everyone, have a great week, and as always, keep Transcending Human!

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