September 7, 2020

Minute of Transparency: Living with uncertainty…

Today’s Topic: Transcending Earthly Desires 

In this episode:

1. Defining desire

2. Desirables

3. Standards of living

4. Perception is reality

// 1. DEFINING DESIRE

The dictionary defines “desire” as: "To wish or long for; crave or want” 

https://www.dictionary.com/browse/desire?s=t 

Synonyms: ambition, appetite, craving, greed, hunger, lust, passion, thirst, etc.

https://www.thesaurus.com/browse/desire

During the Controversy Theory series we talked a lot about worship. And these two concepts go hand in hand. 

People often wind up worshiping the thing or things they desire.

And we took a simple quiz to see what those things might be:

The Worship Quiz

Ask yourself these questions:

• What do I spend large amounts of money on?

• What do I spend large amounts of time doing?

• What do I spend large amounts of time thinking about?

When you’ve answered these questions you should be close to determining what you desire, and what you might be worshiping.

It’s probably important to pull in Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs again - as desire is very different based on where you’re at on the pyramid.

https://www.simplypsychology.org/maslow.html

• Basic Needs: People dealing with the need for food, water, shelter, safety and security. When your existence requires you to focus on these things on a daily basis, desires for other things are often pushed away - and these become the things you desire.

• Psychological Needs: Those in the middle struggle with the need for friends, relationships, careers and accomplishments.

• Self-Fulfillment Needs: Those at the top struggle with self-actualization - an attempt to achieve their full potential.

And while you can have desires at each level, they tend to increase as you go higher on the pyramid. As more of your needs are met, there is more time and brain space available to start desiring things. The difference is that these desires are often now wants, and not needs.

There is a HUGE difference between the following:

• Desiring a safe and secure place to live and raise your kids

• Desiring the Canon 7D Mark II because it shoots a couple frames per second more than its predecessor the 7D

In those illustrations it is easy to see “need” in the first one and “want” in the second right?

// 2. DESIRABLES

For the sake of this episode I’m going to assume most listeners are in the top half of Maslow’s Pyramid. 

Living in the United States we have most of our needs met. We live a life of privilege to be sure, and it is definitely something to be thankful for.

But living in a society, or culture with this level of privilege has consequences that aren’t always good.

Here are two phrases that might sound familiar:

• "To whom much is given, much will be required." (Luke 12:48)

• "With great power comes great responsibility." (Uncle Ben - Spiderman)

Both phrases apply to us - living in a land of freedom and opportunity. 

But what happens when people don’t take these phrases seriously? What happens when people start to believe the opposite - when they stop viewing their lifestyle as a gift, and start viewing it as a right? As something that is owed them for their hard work, or because they somehow deserve it more than another person?

This is the danger we all face living in a land of privilege:

• Do we start viewing it as our right - and demand more and more?

• Or do we view it as a gift - and steward it well?

But back to desire, and the things we desire the we’re living in a land of privilege…

There are obviously thousands upon millions of people, places and things in the world - available to be desired.

But let’s just look at a few of the categories our worldly desires fall into:

• Love: Finding the One:

  • We’re all looking for love - a desire that I believe is God given:

  • And when it happens in a natural, organic way - it is a beautiful thing! Two individuals looking for each other, finding each other and choosing to spend their lives together

  • However, relationships are also a playground for unhealthy desires:

    • The obvious example is a Hollywood marriage - most of which are big deals - until they’re not

    • Stars looking for other stars in order to have the perfect public facing union - only to fall apart in a few years when the new car smell goes away

    • But that’s just one example… People marry for looks, they marry for money and they marry for positions of power

    • All desires that get in the way of the true desire God placed in us to love and be loved by another person

• House people:

  • Housing is another thing that we all need - so nothing wrong with desiring a home to live in

  • But we all know that Real Estate is another area where people let their desires run wild

  • It is a very visual and public declaration of your status and your earning potential

  • To some - having the right home is everything

  • Not just the location/address, but the size of the home, the landscaping and having all the amenities and the latest features inside 

• Car people:

  • We all need transportation - nothing wrong with that

  • But vehicles are the next big thing in letting people know just how important you are

  • You can buy affordable and reliable vehicles for $20,000

  • But the sky is the limit when shopping for a vehicle to showcase your wealth to those around you

  • Having a really nice car is most often a status thing - given your socio-economic standing in society

  • Probably the reason why Rolls Royce is still in existence today. I just looked up the price of the new Rolls Royce Ghost, and it looks to be over $300,000

  • Nothing says wealth and privilege like that - am I right?

• Material goods people:

  • This category is all about stuff...

  • Now again, we all need stuff

  • We need clothing and other items in order to live a normal life

  • We need tools like computers and mobile phones in order to do school and to work

  • But just like the other categories - that is where it starts, and it goes through the roof from there

  • You don’t have to look far to see people throwing all sorts of time, energy and money at things like:

    • Expensive and trendy clothing

    • Jewelry

    • Shoes

    • TVs that cover an entire wall

    • All the latest and greatest electronic gadgets

    • Sporting equipment

    • Outdoors equipment

    • Guns (enough to start your own little army...)

    • And the list goes on forever

    • In this modern world there is an unlimited number of things you can spend your time and money on

    • And coupled with the power of Amazon - you can have them sent right to your home - sometimes in less than a day!

• And finally we have the World traveler people:

  • Again, nothing wrong with travel

  • We all travel from time to time for work, when moving and on vacations

  • But when it is one of your main desires - travel becomes your life

  • In part because you can - but also because it’s what “successful” and “wealthy” people do

  • You need to be seen in exotic locations

  • You need to be able to Instagram it so others will see it

  • The unhealthy desire associated with travel is more about the fact that you can travel than actually experiencing the places you travel to

// 3. STANDARDS OF LIVING

Now before I come across as bashing the rich and famous - let me back up a bit and explain that this is NOT something only the wealthy struggle with.

In fact:

The more you have, the bigger the price tags on the things you think you think you need. But the desire is the same.

Here’s one example:

• One person struggles with what type of Lamborghini to buy

• Another person struggles with what Toyota they should buy

Depending on the income of each person - this decision is the same if it has the same impact on their future financial security.

When I was growing up my parents used to tell me, “There are many wealthy people who live month to month.”

I didn’t really understand what that meant back then. But I do today. There are people living in the lap of luxury - but if that next check doesn’t clear - they’re in a world of hurt.

So where are you on the socio-economic ladder? And what decisions are in front of you? Decisions that you are having to make between unhealthy desire and what you know is the right thing to do?

// 4. PERCEPTION IS REALITY

The truth of the matter is we’re all in a different place financially. 

Here are just a few levels we see in this country:

• Those who literally have it all. In fact, they may have enough money to where they may never run out

• Those who almost have all. But still have to be careful that they make good financial decisions to remain that way

• Those who have just enough. Making an above average income that allows them to live a “normal” life even if it is month to month

• Those who make average incomes. Often struggle to make ends meet - feeling that there is never quite enough

• Those who make below average incomes. In danger of not being able to maintain rent, car loans, etc.

• Those who struggle to maintain a job. Always on the verge of being homeless

• Those without jobs. The homeless

And while each of these levels seems so far apart - there is a common theme that runs through all of them:

"Perception is Reality"

In other words - the way you look at your situation is the reality you’ll live under. Meaning:

• An extremely wealthy person can be unhappy and never feel like they have enough

• A homeless person can be happy and 100% content with their life situation

This is something that makes no sense on paper, but we know it’s true. 

When you’re really pushed to be honest with yourself you will admit that money does not equal happiness. 

Truth be told:

So if this is true - here are some ways people choose to view their wealth or lack thereof:

• Anger, resentment, frustration over where you’re at - often breeding a lack of motivation to do anything about it

• Jealousy over the things other people have - never feeling like you have enough

• Only feeling ok when things start working out for you financially - tying your happiness to financial success

• Feeling ok about your situation but always working to move to the next level

• Feeling content in your current life situation - no matter what it is

  • Does this even exist?

  • If so, it runs counter to our culture and would stand out like a sore thumb 

Let’s Land the Plane: This week, ask yourself the following questions:

1. What do you desire?

   • What are the healthy desires?

   • What are the unhealthy desires?

2. Where do you fall on the socio-economic ladder? 

3. More importantly though - how do you view your life situation?

Thanks for being with us this week. Such a relevant topic for most of us. I know it is for me - struggling to be content and not always feel like I need to move up a rung on the proverbial ladder.

Have a great week, be aware of your desires, and keep Transcending Human!