030 | Transcending Earthly Desires
September 7, 2020
Minute of Transparency: Living with uncertainty…
Today’s Topic: Transcending Earthly Desires
In this episode:
Defining desire
Desirables
Standards of living
Perception is reality
// 1. DEFINING DESIRE
The dictionary defines “desire” as: "To wish or long for; crave or want”
https://www.dictionary.com/browse/desire?s=t
Synonyms: ambition, appetite, craving, greed, hunger, lust, passion, thirst, etc.
https://www.thesaurus.com/browse/desire
During the Controversy Theory series we talked a lot about worship. And these two concepts go hand in hand.
People often wind up worshiping the thing or things they desire.
And we took a simple quiz to see what those things might be:
The Worship Quiz
Ask yourself these questions:
What do I spend large amounts of money on?
What do I spend large amounts of time doing?
What do I spend large amounts of time thinking about?
When you’ve answered these questions you should be close to determining what you desire, and what you might be worshiping.
It’s probably important to pull in Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs again - as desire is very different based on where you’re at on the pyramid.
https://www.simplypsychology.org/maslow.html
Basic Needs: People dealing with the need for food, water, shelter, safety and security. When your existence requires you to focus on these things on a daily basis, desires for other things are often pushed away - and these become the things you desire.
Psychological Needs: Those in the middle struggle with the need for friends, relationships, careers and accomplishments.
Self-Fulfillment Needs: Those at the top struggle with self-actualization - an attempt to achieve their full potential.
And while you can have desires at each level, they tend to increase as you go higher on the pyramid. As more of your needs are met, there is more time and brain space available to start desiring things. The difference is that these desires are often now wants, and not needs.
There is a HUGE difference between the following:
Desiring a safe and secure place to live and raise your kids
Desiring the Canon 7D Mark II because it shoots a couple frames per second more than its predecessor the 7D
In those illustrations it is easy to see “need” in the first one and “want” in the second right?
// 2. DESIRABLES
For the sake of this episode I’m going to assume most listeners are in the top half of Maslow’s Pyramid.
Living in the United States we have most of our needs met. We live a life of privilege to be sure, and it is definitely something to be thankful for.
But living in a society, or culture with this level of privilege has consequences that aren’t always good.
Here are two phrases that might sound familiar:
"To whom much is given, much will be required." (Luke 12:48)
"With great power comes great responsibility." (Uncle Ben - Spiderman)
Both phrases apply to us - living in a land of freedom and opportunity.
But what happens when people don’t take these phrases seriously? What happens when people start to believe the opposite - when they stop viewing their lifestyle as a gift, and start viewing it as a right? As something that is owed them for their hard work, or because they somehow deserve it more than another person?
This is the danger we all face living in a land of privilege:
Do we start viewing it as our right - and demand more and more?
Or do we view it as a gift - and steward it well?
But back to desire, and the things we desire the we’re living in a land of privilege…
There are obviously thousands upon millions of people, places and things in the world - available to be desired.
But let’s just look at a few of the categories our worldly desires fall into:
Love: Finding the One:
We’re all looking for love - a desire that I believe is God given:
And when it happens in a natural, organic way - it is a beautiful thing! Two individuals looking for each other, finding each other and choosing to spend their lives together
However, relationships are also a playground for unhealthy desires:
The obvious example is a Hollywood marriage - most of which are big deals - until they’re not
Stars looking for other stars in order to have the perfect public facing union - only to fall apart in a few years when the new car smell goes away
But that’s just one example… People marry for looks, they marry for money and they marry for positions of power
All desires that get in the way of the true desire God placed in us to love and be loved by another person
House people:
Housing is another thing that we all need - so nothing wrong with desiring a home to live in
But we all know that Real Estate is another area where people let their desires run wild
It is a very visual and public declaration of your status and your earning potential
To some - having the right home is everything
Not just the location/address, but the size of the home, the landscaping and having all the amenities and the latest features inside
Car people:
We all need transportation - nothing wrong with that
But vehicles are the next big thing in letting people know just how important you are
You can buy affordable and reliable vehicles for $20,000
But the sky is the limit when shopping for a vehicle to showcase your wealth to those around you
Having a really nice car is most often a status thing - given your socio-economic standing in society
Probably the reason why Rolls Royce is still in existence today. I just looked up the price of the new Rolls Royce Ghost, and it looks to be over $300,000
Nothing says wealth and privilege like that - am I right?
Material goods people:
This category is all about stuff...
Now again, we all need stuff
We need clothing and other items in order to live a normal life
We need tools like computers and mobile phones in order to do school and to work
But just like the other categories - that is where it starts, and it goes through the roof from there
You don’t have to look far to see people throwing all sorts of time, energy and money at things like:
Expensive and trendy clothing
Jewelry
Shoes
TVs that cover an entire wall
All the latest and greatest electronic gadgets
Sporting equipment
Outdoors equipment
Guns (enough to start your own little army...)
And the list goes on forever
In this modern world there is an unlimited number of things you can spend your time and money on
And coupled with the power of Amazon - you can have them sent right to your home - sometimes in less than a day!
And finally we have the World traveler people:
Again, nothing wrong with travel
We all travel from time to time for work, when moving and on vacations
But when it is one of your main desires - travel becomes your life
In part because you can - but also because it’s what “successful” and “wealthy” people do
You need to be seen in exotic locations
You need to be able to Instagram it so others will see it
The unhealthy desire associated with travel is more about the fact that you can travel than actually experiencing the places you travel to
// 3. STANDARDS OF LIVING
Now before I come across as bashing the rich and famous - let me back up a bit and explain that this is NOT something only the wealthy struggle with.
In fact:
“Each of us, no matter where we’re at on the socio-economic ladder, will struggle with unhealthy desires. The dollar amount may be different, but the struggle is the same. ”
The more you have, the bigger the price tags on the things you think you think you need. But the desire is the same.
Here’s one example:
One person struggles with what type of Lamborghini to buy
Another person struggles with what Toyota they should buy
Depending on the income of each person - this decision is the same if it has the same impact on their future financial security.
When I was growing up my parents used to tell me, “There are many wealthy people who live month to month.”
I didn’t really understand what that meant back then. But I do today. There are people living in the lap of luxury - but if that next check doesn’t clear - they’re in a world of hurt.
So where are you on the socio-economic ladder? And what decisions are in front of you? Decisions that you are having to make between unhealthy desire and what you know is the right thing to do?
// 4. PERCEPTION IS REALITY
The truth of the matter is we’re all in a different place financially.
Here are just a few levels we see in this country:
Those who literally have it all. In fact, they may have enough money to where they may never run out
Those who almost have all. But still have to be careful that they make good financial decisions to remain that way
Those who have just enough. Making an above average income that allows them to live a “normal” life even if it is month to month
Those who make average incomes. Often struggle to make ends meet - feeling that there is never quite enough
Those who make below average incomes. In danger of not being able to maintain rent, car loans, etc.
Those who struggle to maintain a job. Always on the verge of being homeless
Those without jobs. The homeless
And while each of these levels seems so far apart - there is a common theme that runs through all of them:
"Perception is Reality"
In other words - the way you look at your situation is the reality you’ll live under. Meaning:
An extremely wealthy person can be unhappy and never feel like they have enough
A homeless person can be happy and 100% content with their life situation
This is something that makes no sense on paper, but we know it’s true.
When you’re really pushed to be honest with yourself you will admit that money does not equal happiness.
Truth be told:
“We determine our level of happiness based on how we choose to perceive life. How we choose to think and behave given our financial situation.”
So if this is true - here are some ways people choose to view their wealth or lack thereof:
Anger, resentment, frustration over where you’re at - often breeding a lack of motivation to do anything about it
Jealousy over the things other people have - never feeling like you have enough
Only feeling ok when things start working out for you financially - tying your happiness to financial success
Feeling ok about your situation but always working to move to the next level
Feeling content in your current life situation - no matter what it is
Does this even exist?
If so, it runs counter to our culture and would stand out like a sore thumb
Let’s Land the Plane: This week, ask yourself the following questions:
What do you desire?
What are the healthy desires?
What are the unhealthy desires?
Where do you fall on the socio-economic ladder?
More importantly though - how do you view your life situation?
Thanks for being with us this week. Such a relevant topic for most of us. I know it is for me - struggling to be content and not always feel like I need to move up a rung on the proverbial ladder.
Have a great week, be aware of your desires, and keep Transcending Human!