CT01 | An Introduction to Controversy Theory
Welcome to the next big thing!
Today we embark on a journey into Controversy Theory.
Minute of Transparency: How are you doing in this crazy time of COVID-19 and the uncertainty it brings?
Intro: These are difficult times. And that’s one of the reasons I decided to dive into this new series of episodes called Controversy Theory… It wasn’t something I planned on doing right now, but over the past month I’ve realized just how important it might be for the podcast, and for those of you listening during these uncertain times.
So I shifted some things around, and dusted off my old manuscript in order to make it happen this week.
So here we go!
Today’s Topic: An Introduction to Controversy Theory
The History Behind Controversy Theory
The Human Condition
Human Nature
Human Suffering
Human Disturbance
The Basic Assumptions of Controversy Theory
// 1. THE HISTORY BEHIND CONTROVERSY THEORY
Controversy Theory is a manuscript I wrote back in 2000-2001
Just finished up my MSW program and was starting my career as a clinician
I struggled for a while and came to understand it was due to an internal conflict between my faith and my career choice
I was a Christian, but was taught to use traditional treatment modalities or pop culture modalities that did not include faith or a spiritual element in order to help people
Now I fully understood why this was the case! You can’t push your faith on other person - especially when they are coming to you in a time of pain and suffering, and they aren’t asking you for spiritual answers
But at the same time, it’s very difficult to sit there knowing that if your patient (or client as we were taught to refer to them) might benefit if they only wrestled with what faith meant to them
Around that same time I heard at least one pastor say this from the stage:
“I used to do counseling, but I couldn’t keep my mouth shut. I just had to tell people the truth in the moment, and it got me into trouble. Now as a pastor, I can get up here and say all of those things to the room…and the person in the room who needs to hear it will hear it - at the right time, in the right moment, and in a very non-confrontational way."
The minute I heard that - I knew. That was me! As a counselor, I found myself shackled by the rules and restrictions that came with the profession. But as a writer, blogger, podcaster, teacher, trainer, mentor, etc. I could say what I needed to say. Then people could either take it and use it. Or they could reject it and move on. But in all of these scenarios, I was no longer the bad guy...and was doing nothing wrong…
And so began my journey - trying to figure out how to express my faith and my desire to help hurting people at the same time
This theory I was creating in my head eventually became Controversy Theory. And it was my internal struggle - borne out of necessity - to define how we experience life, what the human condition really is, and how we can navigate it well
Insert caveat here: It’s important before moving on that you understand a few things:
The concepts in Controversy Theory aren’t mine. I don’t own them. I didn’t come up with them
Most of them are universal truths from Christianity (and the Bible)
They are spiritual constants that exist, and impact each of us
I simply took these concepts, organizing them, and presented them in way that I find helpful.
Starting with answers to what Controversy Theory calls The Big 3 Questions (More on these in a later episode):
Where we came from
Why we’re here (and what we can do with the life we’ve been given)
Where we’re going
At this time I was influenced by older psychiatrists and psychologists who had developed their own theories:
There was Dr. William Glasser - known as the father of Reality Therapy
Over his career, he developed a theory called Control Theory (or what he now refers to as Choice Theory)
He wrote a book called Reality Therapy that I really connected with. It took the concept of Choice Theory and operationalized it for clinicians. And it also doubled as a self help book for the average person
Similarly, Dr. Albert Ellis - the father of REBT
Wrote numerous books based on his theory:
The Handbook of Rational Emotive Therapy
How to Make Yourself Happy and Remarkably Less Disturbable
Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy: A Therapist's Guide
And then you had Dr. Aaron T. Beck - the father of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
Who wrote similar books based on his theory
Each of these clinicians seemed to work the same way:
They developed a working theory first
Then they wrote books that helped operationalize that theory. Books that offered practical and specific applications to help people make positive changes in their lives based on their theoretical framework
So this was where my brain was at when I started to write:
First, I needed to write Controversy Theory: Which was to be the overarching theory explaining why life is the way it is, and the constants that impact each of us
Next, I was going to write Conscience-Driven Therapy: A practical guide to dealing with the human condition
Except for one thing:
Though I loved reading the theories put forth by Glasser, Ellis and Beck, I also recognized that there was no spiritual element:
Each of these modalities views the individual as the expert - having everything within him or herself in order to get better
And there is no need for faith or spirituality
And I knew my theory would need to be a combination of both elements:
The spiritual truths from the Bible about our origin, purpose and final destination
And the solid, psychological concepts that help people understand their thinking, feeling and behaving
After taking a large number of years off to have a family, and start my career (in a completely separate field…) I started getting the urge to write again:
In 2019 Transcend Human became a thing
The ideas just kept coming, and eventually I decided to make it a podcast
As I started diving deeper into the world of Transcend Human, it became clear. All that work I did back in the day on Controversy Theory was actually laying the foundation for Transcend Human! In fact - many of the ideas I was coming up with for the podcast were in some way related to concepts from Controversy Theory
So I decided I couldn’t put it off any longer
I had to walk through Controversy Theory as soon as possible on the podcast
By putting it all out there - I would be laying a very solid foundation for why Transcend Human exists, and for future conversations we would have on the podcast
And so here he are!
// 2. THE HUMAN CONDITION
At this point the concept of the Human Condition should be pretty well ingrained in your minds - at least for those of you keeping up with the Transcend Human podcast.
So I’ll apologize in advance. But it is foundational… And for those of you jumping in just for this series of episodes, it’s a concept you MUST come to understand as we build out the theory.
In episode 003 we defined the Human Condition as: “The totality of the human experience” as seen in these three areas:
The Life Journey: From birth to death
Major Milestones: Things like childhood, education, graduations, relationships, marriage, divorce, children, retirement, etc.
Everyday Life Experiences: And everything in-between the milestones. Things as simple as a positive interaction with a stranger, to something as traumatic as causing a car accident where someone in the car dies
Our Medical Condition: It also includes any medical issues we may or may not experience during our lifetime. And if there are medical issues, the impact it has on our ability to function and remain emotionally stable
Our Mental Health: The way we think, feel and behave in response to the life experiences we go through, and the medical conditions we face
So the Human Condition is our state of existence. It’s “life” as we know it. When people use the phrase, “It is what it is,” they’re referring to the fact that some things happen regardless if you want them to or not. And though we do have some level of control over our response to the human condition, the condition itself is largely made up of the things that happen to us. And these things will either be positive or negative. For example:
Life Journey:
Positive: Marriage
Negative: Losing a loved one (parent, child, sibling, co-worker, etc.)
Medical Condition:
Positive: Living your whole life without getting a serious disease like cancer, or Alzhiemer’s
Negative: Experiencing lower back pain at a young age and having to stop playing a sport you love
Mental Health:
Positive: Taught right from wrong at a very young age - very capable of making good decisions
Negative: Falling for the lie that you are overweight and giving in to anorexic thoughts and behaviors
But there is an even darker side to the Human Condition - a side that is all negative, all the time…
And this dark side is made up of three harsh realities:
Human Nature
Human Suffering
Human Disturbance
// 3. HUMAN NATURE
So let’s start with Human Nature…
Human Nature is a constant that arrived when the controversy began
It is a direct result of the sin virus - and is passed down genetically from generation to generation
It isn’t something that evolves, changes, or gets better with time - its just there - for all of us
In summary, you could explain it like this:
“It’s always easier to do the wrong thing than the right thing.”
Or, “Being good is usually harder than being bad.”
Most of us would agree kindness, tolerance, and love are not typically part of our human nature
However, selfishness, self-preservation, greed, and intolerance are
Let’s use selfishness as an example:
It isn’t learned, and we don’t need to teach people to be this way
We see this illustrated in the lives of our children - who come out of the womb expecting the world to revolve around them
This is human nature at work
In fact, we know that without consistent parental intervention, this pattern of selfishness will continue into adolescence and eventually adulthood
// 4. HUMAN SUFFERING
Next up is Human Suffering:
Similar to Human Nature, Human Suffering is another constant brought on by the controversy, and ultimately the sin virus
If it is true that selfishness, self-preservation, greed, and intolerance are more likely to occur than their positive counterparts - we would logically conclude that human suffering is more likely to occur than human happiness
This makes sense since the world seems to be full of the following: war, racism, violence, abuse, pollution, littering, defacing the Earth, drug use/addiction, gambling, human trafficking, genocide, religious intolerance, hate crimes, extortion, embezzlement, disease and ultimately death
All things that are produced out of our Human Nature - and lead to Human Suffering
But Human Suffering isn’t just something we experience at the hand of others. The Earth itself is experiencing a level of deterioration due to the sin virus. And as it deteriorates, we experience human suffering at it’s hand as well:
The Earth can be a hostile environment - which is crazy - considering it was designed for us!
Hurricanes, tornados, fires, earthquakes, severe weather, extreme temperatures, diseases impacting foliage, animals and food production, global warming are all occurrences that impact human suffering - and are all things we have little to no control over
Human suffering, regardless if it is at the hands of others, or our environment, is here to stay.
It exists simply as a byproduct of the controversy
But lucky for us, it won’t be around forever!
// 5. HUMAN DISTURBANCE
And finally, there is Human Disturbance…
Human Disturbance grows out of our Human Nature - those little things we are born with and need to work through during childhood and adolescence - prior to our adult DNA being fully formed. Ultimately, Human Disturbance takes aim at the following three elements:
Our thinking (thoughts)
Our behaving (actions, behaviors)
And our feelings (emotions)
These are the three basic elements of every human being. And of course, we see both good and bad in each of them. But when discussing Human Disturbance, we’re looking at the bad side. The ways our thinking, behaving and feeling can be corrupted because of our Human Nature.
This is where parenting comes in. It is a HUGE stopgap between what we were born with, and what we become. In loose/stereotypical terms:
Bad parenting can have the following impact:
It allows the defects the child was born with to grow unchecked and become ingrained into their adult DNA
And in some cases, bad parenting can make these defects even worse - in cases where a parent teaches their child even less desirable habits, or is controlling, overly demanding, or abusive toward the child
Good parenting can have the following impact:
It can help the child understand their human nature for what it is
It can teach new alternatives to these defective behaviors
And it can help the child be proactive in life - setting boundaries that they can use to make better decisions in the future
All of these lead to a more healthy adult DNA
Now… Important caveat about parenting: There is now guarantee that doing the right thing will lead to the right outcome!
There is a strong correlation, and I would highly recommend that you do everything in your power to be the best parent you can possibly be for your children, but there is no quid pro quo
These equations don’t hold water:
"Good parenting in = good child out”
“Bad parenting in = bad child out"
This is just part of living - part of the Human Condition:
You can do all the right things as a parent, and still have a child go down the wrong road in life - even winding up in prison for hurting other people
And similarly, you can be a terrible parent, and have a child that embraces their freedom to choose the right path - breaking a negative cycle they were born into
In the end, the child has the freedom to choose their own path
And that leads us to the good news about Human Disturbance:
We are born with a defective Human Nature. No control over that
And we experience Human Suffering due to the way people act, and the hostile environment we live in. Little to no control over that
But Human Disturbance is the one area where we can take back some of that control
Thanks to our freedom of choice we are able to make decisions in life that reflect a power over our defects, power over what people say and do to us, and power over the difficulties we go through in life
Here are the three elements that make up each human again:
Our thinking
Our behaving
And our feelings
It’s important to understand the following about these three elements:
You can only directly control two of the three
And the third you can control indirectly - by controlling the other two
You CAN control:
Your thinking: the way you choose too look at things, think about things and believe about people or the world around you
Your behaving: the choices you make, the things you do in life, your physical actions and behaviors
You CAN’T control:
Your feelings: your emotions, and how you feel from minute to minute
Things like fear, anxiety, anger, depression, embarrassment, happiness, exhilaration, adrenaline, ecstasy, etc.
All of these can and will hit you out of the blue - regardless if you want them to or not
But! You are able to “influence” your feelings by doing one of the following:
Choosing to think differently about them, or the situation causing them
Choosing to act in such a way that changes the strength or intensity of the feeling
Thereby “indirectly” controlling your feelings and emotions
// 6. THE BASIC ASSUMPTIONS OF CONTROVERSY THEORY
Ultimately, Controversy Theory was written for hurting people.
I spent a lot of time explaining how I was struggling, and how Controversy Theory helped me reconcile the two elements of my clinical practice - my faith and the treatment modalities I was supposed to use with people.
But at the end of the day - it still all comes back to hurting people, and the best way to help them stop hurting.
So Controversy Theory was written to do the following:
First, it was to be a clinicians guide to helping hurting people
And second, to be a self-help guide for hurting people who chose to read it
The book is a theory - so each chapter helps develop the theory a piece at a time.
There are introductory chapters and there are summary chapters, but the main content is broken into what are called The Basic Assumptions of Controversy Theory.
These 15 Basic Assumptions are the meat of the theory, and each help flesh out an important concept for the reader.
So this is our next step. Next week we will dive into the 1st Basic Assumption: A Controversy Exists and then we’ll work our way through the rest of the 15 Basic Assumptions one at a time.
So that’s it for today - thanks again for choosing to spend this time with us each week.
I can’t wait to see how this plays out. Until then keep Transcending Human!