Enneagram 1: Feel the Tension
Last month we vacationed with friends. It was a fun week, filled with new adventures, getting reacquainted, and good conversation.
In these conversations, one of the things that kept coming up was the Enneagram. Some of us had taken the test and already knew a bit about it. Others had to be introduced to it for the first time. But by the end of the week everyone had taken the test and we were able to have discussions surrounding each person’s Enneagram Type, and whether or not we believed that about them.
For those of you that are interested: https://www.enneagraminstitute.com/
For me, the results were obvious - and matched the results of other personality inventories I had taken over the years.
I am an Enneagram 1 - which plays itself out in the following ways:
“Ones are conscientious and ethical, with a strong sense of right and wrong. They are teachers, crusaders, and advocates for change: always striving to improve things, but afraid of making a mistake. Well-organized, orderly, and fastidious, they try to maintain high standards, but can slip into being critical and perfectionistic. They typically have problems with resentment and impatience. At their Best: wise, discerning, realistic, and noble. Can be morally heroic.”
Each Type has 4 “Core Motivations” and Type 1 has the following:
Core Fear: Being wrong, bad, evil, inappropriate, unredeemable, or corruptible
Core Desire: Having integrity; being good, balanced, accurate, virtuous, and right
Core Weakness: Resentment; repressing anger, which leads to continual frustration and dissatisfaction with yourself, others, and the world for not being perfect
Core Longing: “You are good.”
Taken from the book: Enneagram Type 1: The Moral Perfectionist by Beth McCord (Thomas Nelson Publishing 2019)
All that to say…
I struggle with perfectionism - and the need to have things go a certain way. I get frustrated when a crisis occurs because I believe that if plans had been made in advance, the crisis could have been avoided. And it is really difficult when there is a problem I can’t fix, or the person who should fix it isn’t doing it fast enough.
Fast forward to my story - and why I wrote this post…
SITUATION 1:
The Jeep Wrangler we recently purchased has had some issues… When we got it to California, and tried to have it smog checked, we were unable to.
There was a “GasCap” warning where the odometer is supposed to be
Which undoubtedly caused the check engine warning light to come on
And with these warnings present - they were not able to pass the vehicle in the smog check process.
Long story short - it went to the Jeep dealership three times - the last time it was there for nearly three days.
It was during this time that I was able to identify an underlying feeling of tension, frustration and irritability. Something was not right in my world, and the following was true:
There was nothing I could do about it
The people we trusted to be able to fix the problem were not doing it
Now I know, this is not a big deal. First world problem stuff. But I realized that because of my bent (Enneagram Type 1), I was experiencing life in this way - and that it was probably not the way other people were experiencing it.
SITUATION 2:
When our son was born, he had one lung that wasn’t completely open yet. Because of this we had to go home and leave him in the NICU for a couple days. Not at all what new parents want to do. When you have a child you’re supposed to get to take them home with you!
So similar to the above (only on a much larger scale) I was tense, frustrated and irritable the whole time he was not with us. I felt this way because:
There was nothing I could do about it
The doctors we trusted to fix the situation weren’t fixing things fast enough
Now obviously - this is a much bigger deal. Not a first world problem. So you’re probably ok with me feeling the way I felt in this scenario.
LAND THE PLANE:
The piece that interests me - and why I wrote this post - is that based on my personality, I experienced a similar reaction in both situations.
Which means, now that I know this about myself - I should be able to see it coming, and be able to manage the negative emotions better.
So how about you?
Do you know things like this about yourself?
Have you taken personality inventories to see what type of a person you tend to be?
I encourage you to go on this journey of self discovery. Maybe it’s the Enneagram, maybe it’s Myers-Briggs, maybe it’s Strengths Finder…
But whatever the case - try a couple and begin to learn more about the way you’re wired. Not so you’ll have an excuse as to why you act the way you do sometimes, but more so you understand your weaknesses and are able to avoid them.
Have a great week!
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