Date: March 28, 2022

Minute of Transparency: The Rabbit Hole

Today's Topic: Transcending Meaning

1. Meaning what exactly?

2. The "God Shaped Hole"

3. Find the Double Meaning & Set your priorities

// 1. MEANING WHAT EXACTLY?

In other episodes on the podcast we've talked about the Big Three Questions:

1. Where did I come from? (Origin)

2. Why am I here? (Purpose/Meaning)

3. Where am I going? (Destination)

Today - we're going to set up shop at Number 2. The purpose question. The meaning question.

And dig into it a bit deeper.

So let's start by letting dictionary.com define those two words: Purpose and Meaning:

Purpose:

• the reason for which something exists or is done, made or used

• an intended or desired result

• determination or resoluteness

Meaning:

• what is intended to be, actually is or is expressed

• the end, purpose or significance of something

Now the two phrases that stand out to me are from these definitions are:

• "the reason something exists"

• "the significance of something"

So basically, the thing (or things) in our lives that provide significance, and give us a reason to get out of bed every morning. Things we look forward to and to which we ascribe value.

And that's what I want to talk about today.

The thing or things we pour our lives into - because they mean something to us - they have a value that rises above other things.

When looking at these things I would suggest that the following is true:

1. There is a continuum of things people value so they will be different for everyone

2. The things we value will change over time based on age, stage of life and our world view

So let's start by looking at the continuum of things people may value - or find meaning in:

• It's my personal opinion that the things we value - the things we find meaning in fall into two big buckets:

  • Eternal Things:

    • Spiritual things

    • Things that promote morality

    • Things that attempt to help others

    • Things that make the world a better place

    • Things that carry over to the next life

  • Temporal Things:

    • Worldly things

    • Things that we find interesting

    • Things that make us happy

    • Things that may or may not make the world a better place

    • Things that are "value agnostic" or "morality agnostic"

    • Just things - things we want to do

  • Examples of Eternal Pursuits:

    • Pursuing a relationship with our Creator

    • Being a spiritual leader (for the right reasons of course)

    • Working to be better parents

    • Spending time serving others

    • Writing content that inspires people to Transcend Human - Yes - I believe this is an Eternal Pursuit

  • Examples of Temporal Pursuits:

    • Living with the "Me first" mentality

    • Always looking to get rather than to give

    • Building something with the sole purpose of making money

    • Pursuits that do not carry over into the next life

    • Hobbies, interests and potentially addictions that strive for happiness and good feeling right here and now

    • We've referred to this as "living for the scratch"

    • Pursuits that have negative side effects - harming others, harming the environment, etc.

The next piece of the puzzle is the understanding that these pursuits will change for a person over time:

• First with Age:

  • According the a BBC article called: How your personality changes as you age

    • The author explains it like this:

    • "Our traits are ever shifting, and by the time we’re in our 70s and 80s, we’ve undergone a significant transformation."

    • "We become more conscientious and agreeable, and less neurotic. The levels of the “Dark Triad” personality traits, Machiavellianism, narcissism, and psychopathy also tend to go down – and with them, our risk of antisocial behaviours such as crime and substance abuse. Research has shown that we develop into more altruistic and trusting individuals. Our willpower increases and we develop a better sense of humour. Finally, the elderly have more control over their emotions. It’s arguably a winning combination."

  • Now this article is mainly focused on the personality side of things - suggesting that as we age we don't become grumpy and rigid as the stereotype goes

  • But there were two things that piqued my interest:

    • The words conscientious and altruistic

    • This to me is HUGE - and fits with topic for today - which is what we value - what we find meaningful

    • And this article suggests our values change as we age

    • That our world view matures - and what we value may move from more temporal things to more eternal things

• Next, But we would all probably agree that our Stage of Life would influence what we value - right?!

  • Think about preteens and teenagers:

    • We were very self absorbed - but for good reasons

    • We were in the “individuation” process

    • Trying to figure out who we were what we wanted to be

    • Because of this - adults may have viewed us as a little selfish, or self centered

  • Next - think about being a young adult:

    • At this stage we valued finding a partner

    • Or maybe we focused on career advancement

    • Pursuits related to pop culture - keeping up with the latest and greatest trends in movies, music and entertainment

  • Then think about the family stage:

    • Being married

    • Having kids

    • At this stage our pursuits may get wrapped up in vacations, travel sports and your child's educational pursuits

  • And then there is retirement and the golden years

    • A chance to look back - to reflect on life

    • Possibly why the BBC article suggested an increase in conscientious and altruistic behaviors

    • As if a re-evaluation of our lives has taken place and we attempt to make up for some of the more selfish things we did in the past

• Finally, we also need to understand that nothing is this linear:

  • This isn't a guarantee

  • Not every person fits into the Life Stage stereotypes we just discussed:

    • There are conscientious and altruistic teenagers

    • And there are adults and elderly people who are 100% selfish

  • Which brings us back to Spiral Dynamics:

    • We've talked about this before in the podcast

    • So if you want to do a deep dive into the theory you can go back and listen to Episode 58 | Transcending Spiritual Stages

    • In summary - Spiral Dynamics suggests there are levels of "consciousness" that we all fall into, and can move through

    • At any given time we find ourselves strongly connected to one of the stages - but we can move back and forth based on what's happening in the world around us

    • It's also important to understand that these world views are layered:

      • We as people fall into a category

      • Countries/Societies function in one of these categories

      • And looking back you can see humankind working through these categories throughout time

      • The stages are:

        • Beige: Archaic (Basic needs)

        • Purple: Magic (Moving to an understanding that there may be outside forces at work)

        • Red: Power (Becoming very self reliant, survival of the fittest)

        • Blue: Tradition/Belief (Settling into a society with traditions, rules and a shared story)

        • Orange: Modern (Introduction of science. Using logic and pragmatism vs. handed down beliefs)

        • Green: Pluralism (Moving into the realm of social justice, environmentalism and the celebration of diversity)

        • [Second Tier Consciousness]

        • Yellow: Integral (Understanding that we have all of the colors within us. The importance of balance. Accepting others as the same)

        • Turquoise: WholeView (A little woo woo - this stage almost removes the human element - we start to think in terms of the universe, our planet as one integrated organism where everyone and everything is connected and impacts the other)

    • So if we look at people through the lens of Spiral Dynamics - we see that anyone at any age could be living in any of the stages

    • Which makes perfect sense - because the stages account for things like how we were raised, where we were raised, our education, our age, our life experience, etc.

// 2. THE "GOD SHAPED HOLE"

Before we throw God into the mix - I should probably clarify something about Section 1.

• When we discussed Eternal vs. Temporal pursuits it may have come across that one was good and the other bad

• However, this is not the case - and not what I want you to take from this episode...

• I would suggest that both Eternal pursuits AND Temporal pursuits have the ability to be good, and both can be bad

• I'm guessing  this is obvious when it comes to the Temporal:

  • Writing and performing music would be considered a good thing

  • Whereas an obsession, or an addiction that has consumed someones life would be considered bad

• But the same can be said for the Eternal:

  • Focusing time and energy on the Creator is a good thing

  • Having your head in the clouds - and thinking only about the after life might be a bad thing - as it could keep you from actually living

That said, we're not trying to move from Temporal to Eternal - we're trying to make sure we have healthy balance - that we have good pursuits in both buckets...and that our priorities are on order - more on that in the final section...

Okay - so let's bring God back into the episode...

For those of you who have been around the church world for any length of time - you may have heard the phrase: "God shaped hole"

It's usually presented like this:

• "We have a 'God shaped hole' in our hearts."

• "We'll never be truly happy until we fill the 'God shaped hole' in our lives."

• "We have a 'God shaped hole' in our hearts and only God can fill it."

Whatever the case - these statements are typically made by a Believer - someone who believes the following:

1. That we are beings created by God

2. That God created us with a need, or a desire for Him in our lives

Hence, the "God shaped hole." A spiritual connection if you will. A connection that we spend a lifetime trying to find if we don't understand it.

Which brings us to the next point: The journey to fill the "God shaped hole" looks different for everyone - because it is highly dependent on our world view.

As Christians - we believe that everyone has the "God shaped hole" - regardless if they realize it or not. 

But let's look at how it plays out based on our world view.

Let's start with the group who do NOT have a spiritual world view...we'll call this group:

Non Believers:

It stands to reason that people who don't know, or don't believe in God spend their lives searching the world for things to fill their "God shaped hole":

• Most of these things are worldly things

• Things the world offers, and suggests are fun, exciting, important or valuable

• But the world often confuses happiness with meaning or purpose

• To the point where many people believe being happy is the ultimate goal

• The idea that we should spend out entire lives searching for happiness

• And when we truly find it - our lives will have meaning

• But I would suggest this is why so many people in the world today are actually unhappy

• Because the pursuit of happiness has no end point

• It's exhausting - and just when you think you've reached what you were shooting for - you see another level in the distance - something better

• The pursuit of worldly happiness leaves us empty over and over again

• Simply put - this is the "grass is always greener on the other side of the fence" mentality

• It's us trying to fill the "God shaped hole" with non-God things - worldly things

Believers:

Similarly - it should make sense that someone who believes in God should have this all figured out - right?

• We believe in God, and we have a "God shaped hole" in our hearts - so just fill the hole with God!

• Sounds like a pretty simple equation right?

• But apparently it isn't

• Because believers often struggle as much as non-believers

  • First, because we struggle with trust - even though we believe in God - we may struggle with fully trusting Him

  • And second, because we live in the world too!

    • We see the things the world has to offer

    • We struggle with the same desires

    • Our culture tells us what success looks like and we want it as much as the next person

So let's shift gears and dig a bit deeper into these worldly pursuits we keep talking about.

The things we work hard for, try, experiment with and at times become obsessed with or addicted to - thinking they will fulfill our deepest need - the "God shaped hole."

Now before we dive in I'll be honest - this isn't rocket science. In fact you could have come up with this list on your own.

These are just things - things we understand - because they're all part of the Human Condition. All things we see in our culture, and all things we may struggle with:

1. Money/Financial Security:

   • Again - not rocket science

   • If there's one thing in life that should bring safety, security and happiness - it's money - right?

   • I mean money provides all of the things: the house, the car, the vacations, the gadgets, the clothes

   • All of the things that seem to be happiness-producing in this life

   • But here are just a few quotes that suggest otherwise:

     • "Money often costs too much." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

     • "Money never made a man happy yet, nor will it. The more a man has, the more he wants. Instead of filling a vacuum, it makes one." - Benjamin Franklin

     • "Money won’t make you happy...but everybody wants to find out for themselves." - Zig Ziglar

   • We've all heard that "Money does not buy happiness"

   • And we say we believe it - but do we? Really?

   • We're constantly trying to poke holes in that theory

   • Maybe because we so badly wish it wasn't true...

   • I've actually thought from time to time, "I'll be the guinea pig! Give me a bunch of money and let me see for myself if I'm happy or not!"

   • Because deep inside there is the tendency to believe Satan's lie that the scratch is what it's all about

   • Get as much as you can in the 70-ish years you have on Earth

   • And the one with the most toys wins...

2. Career/Fame:

   • I clumped these two together - because they seem very similar to me

   • When we get super into our careers - it's typically for the following reasons:

     • It's either money - being financially secure

     • Or it's to climb the ladder - move up in the world - make a name for ourselves

   • Fame and money are usually connected at the hip

   • You can become famous without money - just do something wild, crazy, dangerous or something that pushes the envelope

   • And from there the money typically follows

   • Example: Social media influencers:

     • If you're already famous - being a social media influencer comes baked in

     • But you can be a nobody with a crazy idea - and become an influencer overnight - simply by getting enough people to like your content and follow you

     • From there - the money starts to trickle in - because the social media platform is making money - so they want you to continue being successful so they make more money

   • Then there are the more traditional routes that produce fame:

     • Musicians

     • Actors/Actresses

     • YouTube Personalities

     • Podcasters

     • Radio Show personalities

     • Talk Show personalities

     • News Anchors

     • Game Show Hosts

     • DJs on large market radio stations

     • etc.

3. Power/Control:

   • Some of this comes with money and fame

   • But I was thinking more in terms of Politics & Religion on this one

   • In politics, we’re talking about the Mayors, Governors, Senators, Representatives, SC Justices, Vice President and President:

     • Think about the power and control they have in the positions they fill

     • When they are doing their jobs for the right reasons things change, progress happens

     • But when they use their position of power and control for personal gain, or to keep people down it can be devastating

   • Next, religion has a similar problem. Moving up in the religious world can also come with an intoxicating amount of power and control:

     • Just listen to the Rise & Fall of Mars Hill Podcast if you don't believe me

     • Look at the Pope, or any other high level leader in most religions and it's the same

     • Not only is there a following because of the platform they have and the position they hold

     • But throw in the spirituality factor - the fact that they speak on behalf of a Higher Power - and you have a recipe for disaster

     • There are people who almost worship their spiritual leaders

     • If that doesn't provide a level of power and control I'm not sure what would

4. Exercise/Beauty:

   • Another road we can go down is that of self promotion

   • Making our physical bodies the best they can possibly be:

     • Working out every day at the gym

     • Training for a Marathon or Triathlon

     • Living at the Spa

     • Getting plastic surgery

     • Buying the latest snake oil to prevent the aging process

     • Having your hair done every week or two so people never see a gray hair

     • This list is truly endless…

5. Happiness/Comfort:

   • Okay - I had to add this one because I believe it has the same capabilities as some of the ones above

   • Our incessant need for happiness and comfort can actually blind us

   • Keep us looking for something to fill the "God shaped hole" even when we know that God has offered to fill it for us!

   • Maybe this is the catch all category - because in order to achieve happiness and comfort we may go after all of the things we just talked about: money, fame, power or a beautiful physical body

   • Or, we may search for it through other means:

     • Love: Finding the perfect person who can and will make us happy

     • Children: Some believe having a child will fill a need for them

     • Sex: Believing that sex is the ultimate form of happiness

     • Gambling: The quick and easy way to money, wealth and ultimate happiness

     • Alcohol: A cultural happiness producer - social lubricant - a great way to take the edge off

     • Drugs: A much faster way to do what alcohol does  - an immediate happiness producer

     • Rx Drugs and Pain Medication: With the obvious desire to be free from pain and feel comfort

Now, I'm sure there are more categories out there - but these seem like 5 of the biggest.

// 3. FIND THE DOUBLE MEANING AND SET YOUR PRIORITIES

So in section 2, I was pretty hard on the worldly pursuits. I made them out to be bad - the things we don't want to do.

But that isn't entirely true. In fact, every single one of us lives in the world - we all experience the Human Condition - and we will live in some of those categories.

For example: I live in the following:

• Money/Financial Security: I enjoy it when I can make enough money to take care of my family, go on vacation and have the latest gadgets

• Career/Fame: I have a job that I want to do well, and I do things like the Transcend Human Podcast - which I hope gain momentum in society

• Exercise/Beauty: I struggle with my physique - and what I need to do to make it better

• Happiness/Comfort: This is probably where I live most often - looking for ways to enjoy life more and ensure bad things or problems do not arise

So is that bad? Do I need to give all of that up in order to find true purpose and meaning?

I would suggest no.

Instead - I would suggest we find the Double Meaning in life.

What do I mean by that? Well - just what it suggests - that we find meaning in both areas:

1. Eternal

2. Temporal

Now that said - I am going to go out on a limb and suggest that one is more important than the other.

But that should be obvious.

We need to start with the Eternal.

We need to fill the "God shaped hole" with God - our Creator. Only then will the worldly pursuits find their correct place in our lives.

So how do we do that? How do we grab God and fit Him into the "God shaped hole?"

Well, on this show we typically say it this way: We Accept the Antidote to the Sin Virus and in essence Vote for God in the Eternal Election.

That is Step 1 in filling the "God shaped hole" in our hearts. Step 2 is to get to know Him. And we do that through the Spiritual Disciplines: Prayer, reading the Bible, spending time in nature, attending church or other spiritual events, spending time with people who also believe, etc. Step 3 is allowing this to impact our world. Because when we allow God into the "God shaped hole" we see the world differently. We start living as He did. Putting others before ourselves. Helping people in need. Taking care of the environment. Choosing kindness and mercy over selfish pursuits.  

Once we have this part of our lives working - we can more appropriately handle the worldly pursuits - the Temporal things.

To summarize I'd just say it this way:

• If we don't have God in the "God shaped hole" - we will try and fit worldly things in it - and never be satisfied

• But if we have God in the "God shaped hole" - we will already be satisfied - and will be able to view the worldly pursuits correctly and engage in them in a more healthy way

That's finding our Double Meaning: Putting the Eternal things into place first, then engaging with the Temporal things correctly.

And finally, Set Your Priorities.

This just might be the hardest part.

Once we understand the Double Meaning concept - that we need to make sure God is in the "God shaped hole" before pursuing worldly things.

The next step is to look at all of our pursuits and make sure they are listed in order of importance.

We need to set our priorities.

Now - this is not something I can do for you - but I can give you a rough outline - one that seems pretty solid.

And here they are in order of importance:

1. God: Our spiritual connection to Him

2. Spouse/Partner: The one we said we would love and cherish until death parted us

3. Family/Children: The beings we brought into the world

4. Others: People in need

5. Career: The things we do to take care of our family

6. Passions: The things we believe only we can do in life (hobbies, talents, creative pursuits, etc.)

7. Entertainment: All of the fun stuff this world has to offer

What if we used this Priority List to guide our decision-making?

What could that do for us? Would it help us rise above the Human Condition? Would it help us Transcend Human?

Let's Land the Plane:

This week - ask yourself the following questions about purpose and meaning:

1. Do you struggle with purpose and meaning in life?

   • If so, did this episode provide answers for you?

2. Had you ever heard the term: "God Shaped Hole"?

   • And can you see the power that exists in connecting to our Creator in that way?

3. Finally:

   • Do you understand the Double Meaning? Filling the "God shaped hole" first - before engaging in worldly pursuits?

   • And what do you think about Setting Your Priorities based on the list we came up with?

This week - let's wrestle with these questions and determine what our next steps are.

Thanks for joining us again this week - so glad you found us and chose to be here.

Have a great week, and as always, keep Transcending Human!

References:

• https://knowyourphrase.com/down-the-rabbit-hole

• https://www.amazon.com/Chessmaster-10th-PC/dp/B00023XXMM

• Vail, CO: https://goo.gl/maps/USfftEDkCq74cZKw8

• Devil's Lake, WI: https://goo.gl/maps/X8ZMEyaecdAKVJ1b8

• Grand Tetons, WY: https://goo.gl/maps/rSg5BBcQd12L8Gc37

• Rafting Trip: https://aceraft.com/product/upper-new-river-all-day/

• https://www.padi.com/dive-sites/ohio/

• https://www.dictionary.com/browse/meaning

• https://www.dictionary.com/browse/purpose

• https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20200313-how-your-personality-changes-as-you-age

• https://transcendhuman.com/podcast/2021/04/058-transcending-spiritual-stages

• https://www.forbes.com/sites/robertberger/2014/04/30/top-100-money-quotes-of-all-time

• http://www.moneywisepastor.com/2619/zig-ziglar-quotes-on-money-success/