065 | Transcending a Fear of Death

June 7, 2021 Daryl McMullen

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065 | Transcending a Fear of Death Daryl McMullen

June 7, 2021

Minute of Transparency: Cheating Death

Today's Topic: Transcending a Fear of Death

In this episode:

Death: The Back Story
Death: Where the Fear Comes From
Death: Your Fight Is Over

// 1. DEATH: THE BACK STORY

In order to have this conversation - there are two very important things we must understand about death:

First: We were never meant to die
Second: Death is NOT optional

Now I know - those two sound very strange when you say them back to back. So let's take them one at a time in order to fully grasp the significance of these two statements.

First: We were never meant to die

Now this is obviously a belief tied to some sort of religious or spiritual world view
If you have no spiritual or religious beliefs guiding your origin story - you most likely believe in the theory of evolution
And in the case of evolution - death has always been a thing - it came baked in - right? Survival of the fittest and all of that
So the idea that death was not part of our origin story has spiritual significance
For me, as a Christian, there is a belief that there was a time when death was not a thing
We believe that God created the Earth to be perfect - and that for a while it was
Human beings lived on Earth, walked and talked with their Creator, and we were designed to live forever with Him
We were never meant to die...

But then something happened. Something Christians simply refer to as "The Fall." Or maybe we should refer to it as "The Falls" - because there are two significant parts to this story...

First, one of the top dogs in Heaven, Lucifer, fell from his position of power
For the first time ever, a perfect, created being had a thought that went against his Creator
Or maybe it had happened before - but were fleeting thoughts that never took root
But in Lucifer, it dug its heels in and it started to grow
And before long this little thought had grown into an angry manifesto
Lucifer was mad that he couldn't be God himself - that he didn't have the power to create, and rule the entire universe
And from there it went downhill fast
He convinced 1/3 of the other angels that he was right, the fought to overthrow God, and lost
Lucifer and his angels were banished from Heaven and forced to continue their existence on Earth
That was "fall" number one
The second "fall" came when we - the perfect beings God created - chose Lucifer (now called Satan) over God
As part of the creation process - God baked in this thing called "freedom of choice" - because without it there would be no love on Earth
Love is only love if there is a choice
And to provide that choice, God allowed Satan access to us - through a tree in the garden
God showed us the tree, He told us not to touch the tree - He even told us what would happen if we did
But we chose poorly anyway - we chose Satan over God when we ate the fruit on that tree
There was no power in the tree, or the fruit itself
It wasn't like the poison apple in Snow White
It was simply the outward, physical manifestation of a choice we made with our minds
Our decision to choose our way, or Satan's way over God's way
And that was it - "fall" number two - which leads us to the second important understanding about death...

Second: Death is NOT optional

When we chose to eat the fruit on that tree - we were allowed to see the truth about something called "Sin"
Sin being the thing that came between us and God when we made that fateful choice
And the problem is this: Sin isn't just a one-time thing - Sin is a virus that immediately spread throughout the Earth
It was a global pandemic that spread with 100% accuracy to all of the Earth's elements, structures, plants, trees, fish, birds, animals and human beings
And this pandemic remains at that level to this day - 100% effective
The Sin Virus is in everything, and it is passed down through the reproductive process every single time
And unfortunately - the end result of the Sin Virus Pandemic is death
Death for everything it touches. The physical Earth, the elements, the plants, trees, fish, birds, animals and yes - all of us
Death is NOT optional any longer

// 2. DEATH: WHERE THE FEAR COMES FROM

Before we really dive in I thought this was interesting:

So the official term for a fear of death is "Thanatophobia"
I guess I'd never heard that term before - because the minute I saw it - I thought of Thanos - the Titan depicted in the Avenger Movies...
So I did some quick digging and sure enough!
According to Michael Jung on screenrant.com
- “Thanos” is a short form of the personal name “Athanasios,” which means “immortal.” The name, however, is also derived from the name “Thanatos,” a Greek mythological figure who carries humans off to the underworld when their lives are done. For Thanos, therefore, his name literally means “death.”
- I found it interesting because in the movies, you see both attributes. Thanos appears to be immortal, but he's also fascination with death and wants to kill half of the people in the universe in order to preserve it

But I digress - thanatophobia is the fear of death.

But apparently there are levels of fear...

Maria Cohut of medicalnewstoday.com writes:

Almost everyone is afraid of death on some level:
- Either the thought of not being here ourselves
- Or the thought of losing someone we love
And this fear was best described by an anthropologist named Ernst Becker
- He suggested that a fear of death comes to us naturally because we find death unacceptable
- His work led to what is called Terror Management Theory (or TMT) which suggests:
  - Human self-consciousness and their drive to achieve personal goals, is motivated by the awareness of their mortality
  - In other words, because we know death is coming - we go out of our way to get things done - to run around like our heads are cut off basically...
Another interesting theory (according to Cohut) is Post-Traumatic Growth Theory (or PTG):
- This theory suggests people actually deal with death better after going through traumatic events themselves
- Like experiencing the death of a loved one
- Or after getting a worrying health diagnosis
- Because the very real experience of death, or the possibility of death can actually make you appreciate life more
But the big take away for me in this article was this:
- There is a common fear of death
- And then there is the clinical term fo it which is "death anxiety" - a condition that is clinical in nature and should be diagnosable on some level as a disorder - because it has reached the level where it is disrupting your normal level of functioning

But this is the fear I'm talking about. The level of anxiety that is disruptive in the following ways:

It invade your thoughts at random times in the day
It is something you dream about
You begin to view normal activities as potentially dangerous
You stop doing certain things to ensure your safety
You get worried when someone you love does something you feel is dangerous
You try to keep your kids from activities because there is an element of danger
And unfortunately many of these activities aren't dangerous
- But to you they are
- Things like flying, driving to a new town, going out on a blind date, going for a walk by yourself, going skiing, going to a big city for a sporting event or a concert
- All things people do on the regular - and don't die
- But things that "death anxiety" has a field day with

Now, you notice we just discussed people, their fear of death, and a bunch of symptoms related to this fear - and never once mentioned the spiritual beliefs of the people in question?

That was on purpose...

Because death is universal. It doesn't care if you are spiritual or not - it's coming for each of us just the same...

However, I do want to dive into the realm of religion and spirituality at this point - because there it does play a unique role in "death anxiety."

Before I did any research on the subject, I just assumed some things.

I assumed that people who were religious, or spiritual would have less "death anxiety" than those with no religious or spiritual beliefs.

And I think that may be a documented stereotype in the world today...but is it true?

Well I did find quite a few articles where religious organizations offered reasons why you shouldn't fear death. But not much in the way of research proving that

Christians fear death less than anyone else...

And then I found this one: It's an article put out by Oxford University on a research study published in a journal called, Religion, Brain & Behavior.

In summary...the research study showed that there are two groups who seem to have less "death anxiety." And who are these two groups?

The Religious
And the Non-religious

The article clarifies that the "religious" person they are referring to is the intrinsically religious person. The person for which religious beliefs come from within - as a true representation of what they believe.

The extrinsically religious people are religious because they want to fit in, or because it seems like the thing to do at the time. And according to the study - this group actually had higher levels of "death anxiety."

Now the Non-religious camp is made up of traditional atheists, but also people who generally operate with no religious or spiritual world view.

The study suggested this was an interesting finding.

What they see is a U shaped curve. With true believers on one side and fully non-believers on the other - having lower "death anxiety. Then there is everyone else in the middle with higher levels of "death anxiety."

I must say - this intrigued me a bit. Not that religious people feared death less. But that there was little to no difference between them and non-believers.

So apparently - lower levels of "death anxiety" occur when you are fully convinced in your own mind about spiritual things - one way or the other.

And it's the people in between - those who don't really know what they believe that experience higher levels of "death anxiety."

So many things we could dive into given that information - but lets keep moving forward...

// 3. DEATH: YOUR FIGHT IS OVER

One of my favorite genres in television and movies is science fiction.

I'm not 100% sure why - but there is just something about them that fascinate me.

I love the world building aspect. Learning what's different between their world and ours. Getting to know the "rules" that exist in their world, and how they differ from the rules we live with. Not rules like laws. Rules like if gravity exists in their world. Or if there is magic, how does it work, and who is capable of doing what? And what are the rules about death? Is it final? Or can people come back to life?

All of this information provides context and boundaries through which an amazing sci-fi story can be told.

So when I was thinking through this episode - I couldn't help but recall a show I watched a few years ago called The 100.

Now this was a CW show, so it is what it is. I won't vouch for the level of excellence, the acting or the overall plot for that matter. But I still enjoyed it. Because it was based on a premise I found interesting.

Here's the description from IMDB:

"Set ninety-seven years after a nuclear war has destroyed civilization. A spaceship housing humanity's lone survivors sends one hundred juvenile delinquents back to Earth, in hopes of possibly re-populating the planet."

So it is set on Earth - but things have changed - it's a world where people are more like animals that humans. Survival of the fittest - groups of people fighting against each other for dominance. And this society was based largely on fighting - being strong warriors.

So the tie in to our episode is when it came to death - and believe me there was a lot of death on the show.

But the people found living on the Earth - the warriors had a saying when one of their own died.

They always said, "Your fight is over." And if a member of the group got injured and knew they were close to death they would say, "My fight is over."

Now this is obviously tied to their culture - the day in and day out living as warriors. Life was all about the fight.

But the more I thought about it - the more I saw the connection to each and every one of us.

Living on Earth today is a battle. Maybe not in the literal sense of the word. We aren't warriors trained in combat. And yet we battle every day to get up, live life and endure things that aren't always fun. We go through abuse, divorce, bad breakups, getting fired from jobs, accidents, health issues, mental health conditions - all the while fighting to keep moving forward.

So when we die - I believe the same could be said of us, "Your fight is over."

But I can't leave it there - because that's only talking about the time of death. It isn't really addressing our topic - which is Transcending a Fear of Death...

Getting to the place where our "death anxiety" is at an all time low - because we've either learned something, or believe something about death that allows us a new perspective.

Back to the Oxford article and the U shaped curve.

On the one hand it sounds like people with no religious or spiritual world view handle death pretty well:

But to me this isn't because they are super resilient, highly educated, have superior mental capacity or anything like that
Quite the opposite - to me it's so sad
Because the person with no religious or spiritual world view has resigned him or herself to this life and this life only
They are ok with living the 75 odd years on this desolate rock and then just ceasing to exist
They're ok with there being nothing else - nothing after death
And that's why I find it sad

Because if they're wrong - and there is a God - and there is life after death - they'll never get to see it! They'll miss out on living forever and be stuck with the difficult 75 years here on Earth.

But what about those who do have a religious or spiritual world view?

How can we be at peace with death? How can we live in such a way so that death is not a shadow following us around? It doesn't invade our thoughts, disrupt our days, or keep us from living life to the fullest?

Well, it probably starts with this:

As we've talked about before - we don't have control over the feelings and emotions that come our way. And "death anxiety" is one of those feelings or emotions that can hit each of us - some greater than others. But we know that we can influence the impact our feelings and emotions have on us by controlling the other two parts: Our thinking and behaving.

So it's logical in this scenario that if we think differently about death, and if we behave in such a way as to go against our fears - that our "death anxiety" should decrease.

Now we could come up with 1000 different ways to think about death differently - but for the purposes of this episode, let's just look at 5.

From an article called, 5 Reasons Christians Don't Have to Fear Death on billygraham.org

According to the article - we can lower our "death anxiety" if we understand the following 5 truths about death:

Death is no accident: Like we said earlier - death comes to each of us. But for the Christian it comes with the knowledge that there will be something better coming after death
Death is a rest from labor: Death can be viewed as a peaceful rest after all of the hard labor we've endured in this world. Similar to, "Your fight is over"
Death is a departure: Understanding this idea that death is actually a beginning - not an end. For the Christian - life on Earth is a short, difficult, experience that prepares us for eternal life - a life that will never end
Death is a transition: Similar to the concept above - death is like transitioning from a tent into a palace
Death is an exodus: The idea that death is actually a change in our capabilities. We move from humanity, with earthly bodies that have serious limitations - to perfect, limitless bodies capable of things we can't even imagine

Like I said - those are just 5 ways we can look at death in order to keep it from getting the best of us as we go about living.

But there are more where those came from. Do a little research this week on why death is not the end. Or what the Bible says about death. Ultimately it will bring you back to a very important question.

What do I believe?

Do I have a religious or spiritual world view?
Or don't I?

That might be where you need to start.

Let’s Land the Plane:

This week - chew on these questions:

Where are you at when it comes to "death anxiety"?
- On a scale from 1-10 - with 10 being extremely fearful?
Based on our conversation today - can you see where that fear is coming from?I
If so, what can you do this week to start thinking differently about death? So you can get back to really living?

And that's it for today. Thank you so much for coming along for the ride this week. It was definitely a difficult episode. But death is an important topic given the fact that we're all headed in that direction.

I hope you found something today that encouraged you and gave you hope for a better tomorrow.

Have a great week, keep looking up, and as always, keep Transcending Human!

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