May 17, 2021

Minute of Transparency: How rigid are you?

Today's Topic: Transcending Routine

In this episode:

1. Routine can be good

2. Routine can be bad

3. Stepping out of your comfort zone

// 1. ROUTINE CAN BE GOOD

I'm assuming my propensity toward routine and schedule has come across in previous Minutes of Transparency...

So at this point nobody is shocked when I reveal that about myself...

But looking back I can definitely see a reason for rigidity in my life, and how it is been helpful. 

At this point, the best example is this podcast:

• The Transcend Human Podcast began in January 2020

• It started out as a bi-weekly thing

• But quickly moved to a weekly podcast

• And it has continued that way now for 62 episodes

• Now I know people do this all the time - in fact there are people who do daily podcasts...

• But when your podcast is not your full time gig - weekly episodes can be daunting

• In fact - many of the podcasters I chat with (most of them doing theirs on the side like me) ask, "How do you do it?"

• Maybe they've tried and failed, or they just can't imagine the work that would go into doing something with that level of consistency

• And on some level I'm a bit unsure how I've been able to do it as well...

But at the end of the day it probably comes down to having a routine - maybe even a rigid one...

And that's the only way I know to get it done. The routine, and the rigidity to that routine ensures things go off without a hitch.

It's when I deviate from that routine that things start to get a little shaky.

// 2. ROUTINE CAN BE BAD

So based on what we just talked about it sounds like routine and rigidity are my friends right?

They keep me on track - keep me honest - keep me productive.

What's not to love right?

Well, to a point - yes. But beyond that point - no.

Being too rigid, and too focused on routine can actually get me into trouble - in at least these ways:

1. Personally:

   • If I spend too much time focused on things like the TH Podcast

   • I get too focused on me

   • I start to live in my head

   • And after a while I realize I'm exhausted

   • Not physically - but emotionally and intellectually for sure

   • There are times when I just sit there - feeling like I'm stuck in a long, dark tunnel with no way out

   • The world is going on around me, but I'm not part of it

   • I have this overwhelming feeling like there is never enough time

   • Because there is so much to do and so many things to write about

   • But there is no light at the end of the tunnel

2. Relationally:

   • My need for routine is in direct conflict with my wife's need for spontaneity and adventure (or what I refer to as chaos :)

   • For those of you who love the Enneagram: I'm a 1 and she is a 7

   • My need for routine, order, schedule, consistency is exactly the opposite of what fills her tank

   • So when I'm unhealthy - and my routine is leading to an unhealthy level of rigidity - we start having problems

// 3. STEPPING OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE

So last week I did two things that disrupted routines - and hopefully Transcended Routine on some level...

First, my wife and I left town:

• As you remember - last week the TH Podcast came to you from NYC

• This was a HUGE routine disrupter for me - those of you who find routine comforting will understand

• But it was exactly what my wife and I needed:

  • My wife needed it because she is a 7

  • I needed it because my 1 had become a bit too rigid, and stepping out of my comfort zone forced me to deal with it before it became too unhealthy

• So what all did we do?

  • NYC - moved our daughter into an AirBnB and spent a day with her

  • Drove the scenic route to Martha's Vineyard

  • Spent a day on Martha's Vineyard

  • Drove out to the end of Cape Cod (Provincetown)

  • Spent two days in Boston

  • Drove the scenic route to Bar Harbor, Maine

  • Acadia National Park

    • Beehive Hike

    • Scenic coastline

    • Cadillac Mountain overlooking the coast and entire park

    • Bass Harbor Head Lighthouse

  • Drove a straight shot back to Brooklyn, NY

  • Spent the evening with our daughter

  • Flew back to OC

Second, the podcast for this week had to change...

• Because we were gone all week I chose to break my routine

• I stepped out of my comfort zone and decided to try something different

• Instead of doing a lot of research, and writing out the entire episode - I came up with a loose outline and then talked my way through it

• A bit uncomfortable when the routine says to do it the other way

• But again - we're trying to transcend routine this week right?

Let’s Land the Plane:

This week, ask yourself the following questions:

1. Where do you fall on the rigid to flexible continuum?

2. If you find yourself a bit too far one way or the other - what would it look like to move closer to the middle?

   • If you are too rigid, could you loosen up a bit on some of your routines? And try something new?

   • If you are the opposite - a bit too flexible - what would it look like if you added some routines to your life in order to bring clarity and structure?

My hope for you this week is that you're able to self diagnose - and modify your life accordingly.

Thank you so much for hanging out with us today - it was fun to be on the East Coast - but it's also good to be home, and to be back with you on this journey together.

Have a great week, and keep Transcending Human!

References:

• https://www.learning-mind.com/rigid-personality-signs/