055 | Transcending Your Highway
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055 | Transcending Your Highway
March 29, 2021
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Minute of Transparency: Finding My Sweet Spot
Today's Topic: Transcending Your Highway
In this episode:
Life Is a Highway
Pick a Lane - But Don't Stay In It
Navigating with the Stars
// 1. LIFE IS A HIGHWAY
Interestingly enough - the whole sweet spot illustration ties in pretty well with the topic for today.
Only in this episode we're going to look at our entire life - not just that one thing we found to be our sweet spot.
Because even though I believe my sweet spot is Transcend Human - that doesn't mean it's the only thing I do!
Our sweet spot is just one facet of our lives. One lane as we'll see when we're done today.
And I thought it would be fun to illustrate this concept by comparing our lives to a highway.
I'm sure we've all heard the song, Life Is a Highway...
Originally recorded by Tom Cochrane
But more recently made mainstream when it was covered by the country band Rascal Flatts for the Pixar movie Cars
And while the lyrics themselves don't really add to our conversation - it's the concept I'm interested in:
That each of us is on a highway. Our life is a highway taking us from where we are to where we want to go.
So let's talk a little about this highway we're on:
First, what I'm talking about will be highly contextual:
If you live in a large city - or near one you will be able to visualize this pretty quickly
But if you live in a more rural setting - I'll need to help you along
When I say "highway" I'm not referring to county or state highways - often one lane going each direction with no median in the middle
And I'm not talking about Interstate Highways - often two lanes going each direction separated by a grassy median
No - I'm talking about the mega-highways in our country
Highways in New York, Houston, Atlanta, Baltimore - and yes - right here in Southern California
Each of these highway has at least 14 lanes - that's 7 going in each direction!
These are the highways I'm talking about - and if you haven't experienced one - you don't know what you're missing!
I encourage you to get out there and live a little 🙂
For the purposes of this episode - I'm going to use the good old 405 here in Orange County as my example:
The 405, as we call it, is a bypass - built to lessen the traffic on what we call The 5 - the main freeway that stretches from Mexico to Canada - through the Pacific Coast States
The 405 stretches from Irvine, through Los Angeles, to San Fernando - where it dumps back into The 5
It's a freeway we take on a regular basis:
It can be wide open - moving at 80mph
Or it can be a parking lot - depending on the time of day, and where you're at
But the main reason I'm using The 405 as an illustration for our lives - are the number of lanes:
Because like The 405 - our lives are made up of many different lanes
And it's important to understand each lane, and have a plan as to how we will utilize each lane
On The 405, at its widest point, you have the following lanes:
At the far left, you have what's known as the HOV Shortcut:
This lane is HOV - meaning you can only be in it if you have 2 or more people in the car
It's also a sneaky little shortcut that allows you to go from one HOV lane on one highway - to the HOV lane on another highway
These are few and far between - but when you know how to use them - they save all sorts of time and energy
Next, you have the regular HOV lane:
You must have 2 or more people in the car
And there are openings you have to use in order to get into the lane
Once in the lane, you have to stay in it until the next opening (signified by the solid line changing to a dotted line)
There are times when the HOV lane is moving way faster than the other lanes and you're rewarded for carpooling
But there are times when the HOV lane is actually moving slower than the other lanes - and once you're in it - you're stuck
So using the HOV lane requires some insight - choose wisely my friend...
Next - the lanes are numbered from 1-6 moving from left to right
Lane 1 is known as the fast lane. Though this can be lanes 1 and 2 if there are 6 lanes:
If you are a fast moving vehicle, and you don't need to exit for a while - you want to be in these lanes
The Middle Lanes are typically lanes 2 and 3 - though it can be 3 and 4 if there are 6 lanes:
These lanes are for cruising
If you're not looking for speed, and you don't need to exit soon, these are your lanes
They still move pretty quickly - but allow the crazy people to go around you on the left and keep you out of the merging chaos on the right
Next you have the Right Lane - typically lane 5 or 6 depending on the total number of lanes:
This is the lane farthest to the right - but does require you exit
On the nice section of The 405 - this lane allows you to do two things
You can keep going straight, or you can exit on most exits
The problem with this lane is that it is in constant flux - people moving in and out of it due to the exit lanes on the right
This is the lane you want to be in if your exit is coming up soon
And finally - there is the Exit Lane on the far right:
You know you're in an exit lane when the dotted line to the left changes from long thin dashes to short fat dashes
This is your warning - that if you don't get to the left you're going to have to exit
However, if it is your exit - it's your confirmation that you're in the right place
Whew! That was a mouthful.
For those of you who drive 80/90 in the Midwest, this probably sounds crazy...but it really isn't. Drive it for a week or so and you'll get the hang of it right quick.
So let's make the connection...
I'm suggesting that our lives are The 405. Life Is a Highway...
And just like The 405 has numerous lanes - so too - our lives have numerous lanes.
Each lane represents a unique part of our existence, or our daily functioning
We don't all have the same lanes, but we all have a set of lanes we have to navigate
And here are just a few of the lanes you may experience:
The work lane
The marriage lane
The family lane
The parenting lane
The hobby lane
The health and fitness lane
The entertainment lane
The social media lane
The legal lane
The addiction lane
The affair lane
The divorce lane
The religion lane
The political lane
The conspiracy theory lane
etc.
As you can tell - there are hundreds of lanes, which translates into thousands if not millions of different combinations of lanes
We're all on the same highway - just traveling - using a different combination of lanes
// 2. PICK A LANE - BUT DON'T STAY IN IT
Another interesting piece using this illustration is that fact that you can't just pick a lane and stay in it for the entire journey.
This is obvious when driving on The 405. At any given point - you need to be in the lane that is the most useful to you at the time:
You don't drive in the HOV lane if you're the only person in the car
You don't stay in Lane 1 if you need to exit in .5 miles
You don't set up shop in Lane 5 if you're going to be on The 405 for 30 miles
You change lanes based on who is in the car with you, and what your next move is
Similarly in life you can't spend all your time in one lane:
If you spend all your time in the work lane - you're a workaholic
If you spend too much time in the entertainment lane - you fail to be productive
If you spend too much time in the addiction lane - you're likely to miss important lane changes when they are needed
So just like navigating The 405 - we must learn to navigate our life lanes in a similar way:
For example:
Be in the right lane at the right time
If you're at work - be in the work lane
If you're at home with the family - be in the family - or parenting lane
If it's date night - be in the marriage lane
You get the point...
Focus on the thing you need to focus on
This is why we all laugh when we see a family at a restaurant and all of them are on their devices - not talking to each other
They are in the family lane - but each of them are straddling the dotted line - with two wheels in the family lane and two wheels in another lane
And that is typically when accidents happen...
// 3. NAVIGATING WITH THE STARS
And finally, it isn't important just to be in the right lane at the right time.
It's also important to be driving correctly in the lane you're in.
On The 405:
If you're driving alone in the car and you choose to be in the HOV lane - you better be ready to hand over $300-$400 if you get caught
If you're driving slowly in Lane 1 - you're going to get in trouble with other drivers. Most likely they will flash their lights at you. But if they're really in a hurry it will be the horn and a middle finger as they go around you...
And if you're in an exit lane when you're not exiting for another 50 miles - you're going to take a detour that isn't helpful
Similarly, in our lives:
We need to take a good hard look at each lane we drive in
We need to understand the lane
We need to see that there are healthy and unhealthy ways to drive in that lane
And we need to work on each lane if we hope to grow and mature - if we hope to Transcend Human in each of those areas...
I think I mentioned that I started running again. I'm trying to do it 3x/wk - M, W and F. And in this crazy COVID, work from home world - it's actually working.
Not only am I able to get up, and get it done. But I'm also able to listen to my podcasts again - something I was doing on my drive into work prior to the pandemic.
This week I listed to an episode of the RobCast with Rob Bell:
The episode is called "South Star" and I'll link to it in the show notes
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/south-star/id956742638?i=1000512763090
Now depending on who you are, and what your background is, you may hear the name Rob Bell and cringe.
He is a bit controversial, moved away from ministry in Michigan at some point in order to take his controversial ideas on the road so to speak.
He spent some time with Oprah, and has continued to do speaking engagements, write books and record podcast episodes along the way.
I guess I look at it like this:
I may not believe everything Rob Bell stands for
In fact, I may even believe that some of his ideas are dangerous
But at the same time - I believe there are many mainline pastors and teachers presenting things that are not close to being Biblical!
So if this is true - I need to filter what I hear no matter where it comes from
And this is what allows me to listen to Podcasts like the RobCast
Because I'm listening to it with an open mind and critical thinking - passing what is said through my filter of truth - the Bible
And on some level - I feel like Rob Bell and I have some things in common.
Going back to the Minute of Transparency - I felt like my sweet spot was writing and recording Transcend Human as a side gig. Not becoming a pastor, or clinician in order to get my ideas across.
And on some level, Rob Bell did the exact same thing. At some point he realized being a pastor wasn't the right route for his message. It caused too much division and chaos.
So he moved away from that - and created a platform where he could explore his ideas (right or wrong) and people are able to follow him on that platform, or choose not to.
That I can appreciate.
But back to the podcast episode...
Rob basically threw out an idea for how we learn, how we grow
His idea is that we can learn by following the North Star, or what he calls South Stars
Both have the power to help you shape your life
A North Star is obvious:
It's a person that is a good, a role model, someone who gives good advice, a mentor or seeing someone do good in the world
It's easy to understand - see it, do it
Try to be like that person
But a South Star is different:
It's actually the opposite - and yet we typically don't see this as helpful
It's seeing people behaving badly, it's people giving bad advice, people doing bad things to you and people doing things to make the world a worse place
These South Stars are not as easy to understand
Sometimes you have to figure out what it is about the behavior that is actually bad
A person rubs you the wrong way and you have to ask why?
What is it that they are doing that I don't want to do?
If you can define the specific behavior - you can choose to do the exact opposite
So the South Star idea at its core, is seeing something, and choosing to do the opposite
So back to our illustration - Life Is a Highway...
How are you doing in each of your lanes? For me:
A few months ago - I could say I was doing pretty well in a few lanes:
The work lane was going strong
The writing and recording the podcast lane was moving forward
The family lane was working. I was doing my part to keep the kitchen clean, laundry done and the house vacuumed
But those are just a few of my lanes - what about the other ones?
What about the healthy foods lane
The exercise lane
The marriage lane
These were lanes I had either neglected, or forgot to drive in at all!
And Rob Bell's podcast episode hit me at just the right time.
As I was asking myself how I was doing - he challenged me to look around:
Find a few North Star examples - and try to be more like them
And to see South Stars for what they are - illustrations of the way NOT to go
So that's what I did - at least in the exercise lane:
I found a North Star in my wife - who exercises 5 times a week - and makes it a priority. If she can do it - why not me?
And I see countless South Stars - living sedentary lives like me - then wondering why they don't feel good half the time
And that was enough motivation to do something
I changed lanes and started driving in the exercise lane a few times a week
Now do I absolutely LOVE running in the mornings? No. Heck no. It's a challenge every day to get out of bed and make it happen
But what I can tell you is that I feel better the rest of the day
And I'm expecting that a few months from now - it will be easier - and the benefits will start to compound themselves in other areas of my life
At least that's the hope 🙂
Let’s Land the Plane:
This week, ask yourself the following questions:
If your life is a highway - what lanes make up that highway?
Are you spending too much time, or too little time in one or more of the lanes?
If so - what would it take to change that?
What would it take to be in the right lane at the right time?
And finally:
Can you identify some North Stars in your life to emulate?
And some South Stars you can use to drive you in the opposite direction?
That's it for today friends. Thank you so much for being with us - I love that we get to spend this time together each week.
Until next time, have a great week, keep switching lanes, and keep Transcending Human!