005 | This "Worldly" We Live In
Hello again,
Minute of Transparency: Did I forget my family in Episode 2?
Today’s Topic: The concept of “wordliness,” and the impact it has on the “Happiness Trap."
What does “worldly” mean?
In the world but not of it...
The “Happiness Trap”
How to Transcend Human while in the world
// 1 WHAT DOES “WORLDLY” MEAN?
Basic definition: https://www.lexico.com/en/definition/worldly
(When a person is said to be “worldly") experienced and sophisticated. Used in a sentence: ‘She was much more worldly than Nora and dismissed the slur’
Concerned with material values or ordinary life rather than a spiritual existence. Used in a sentence: ‘But another part of me says that you can't split the spiritual and the worldly quite so easily.’
Synonyms: earthly, terrestrial, temporal, mundane, mortal, human, non-spiritual, unspiritual, material, materialistic, physical, tangible, carnal, fleshly, bodily, corporeal, gross, sensual, base, sordid, vile, profane
The two that stood out:
Unspiritual: Suggests that “worldly” and “spiritual” are mutually exclusive things
Base: I’ve heard my kids refer to things as “basic” - meaning there is nothing special about them, they are the bare minimum. And that is what “worldly” means to me. It is the “base” thinking and behaving we do as humans. It is being “human” rather than trying to Transcend Human.
But that’s just a definition - let’s get practical…
We all know when you add “spirituality” to your life, you have decided it is ok to subject yourself to rules and restrictions, right?
Just a few examples:
Christianity: Love your neighbor as yourself - ouch!
Islam: Pray 5 times a day facing Mecca
Judaism: There are 613 mitzvot - which are the rules or commandments Jewish people hold to be important
Confucianism: The 4 Virtues: loyalty, piety, contingency and righteousness
Taoism: The 10 Precepts: things like do not kill, do not think depraved thoughts, do not steal or receive unrighteous wealth, refrain from revenge, etc.
So if being “spiritual” is subjecting yourself to rules and regulations. Being “worldly” must be releasing yourself from rules and regulations, or attempting to live only unto yourself. So whatever you decide is right for you is what you do.
This is getting really close to Humanism, or Secular Humanism - but let’s not go there yet. I’ll do an entire episode on that in the future.
We can still talk about being “worldly” and what that looks like:
The word “worldly” basically defines itself
I mean, the word is NOT “selfish” or “self-centered” or “narcissistic” - suggesting we’re not spiritual because we are only thinking about ourselves
The word is “worldly” - which has the word “world” in it
So at its core, being “worldly” is avoiding spiritual things in order to live the way the world tells you to live - because the world tends to be worldly…
So how does “worldliness” manifest itself?
Living as close as I do to Los Angeles - I get a front-row seat to some of the things the world values:
Intelligence: Academics are a travel sport these days - kids posing 4.0 to 5.0 in order to get into the best university - or parents paying to get their kids into said universities...
Wealth/Things: More is not enough - keep buying more stuff, and make sure that stuff is better than what others have
Beauty: Aging is the enemy - it is all about staying young physically, and by dressing the part
Power/Control: Work your way to the top and stay there - survival of the fittest
Prestige/Influence: Be seen, be noticed, and keep upping the ante in order to stay in the news
Keep “Me" in the Center: Our culture is very me-centric. Everything needs to revolve around us. We want things and we want them immediately. Tomorrow is not fast enough - can we get a drone to leave the minute I order the product and drop it on my front door within the hour?
Entertainment: Everything seems to be pushing the limits these days: Pornography, songs, movies, tv shows, streaming platform and their original content, etc. All trying to one-up the other to attract more attention
Don’t Deny Yourself: To keep yourself from experiencing things is to be stuffy… Live a little! If it feels good do it!
The Bible summarizes most of these things like this: "For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride in possessions—is not from the Father but is from the world.” 1 John 2:16
In summary: Being “worldly” then is choosing to engage in the things we just talked about. But not just dabbling in them - making them a priority.
Priority Test: So how do you know when you’ve made something a priority in your life? Ask yourself these three questions:
What do you spend a lot of time thinking about?
What do you spend a lot of time doing?
What do you spend a lot of money on?
// 2 IN THE WORLD BUT NOT OF IT
Priorities play a big role in this next section.
But first let’s talk about the phrase: "Be in the world, but not of the world.”
A simple little concept from the Bible - though not actually a word-for-word verse in the Bible.
Instead, it is the boiled down essence found in other verses like these:
This mantra has two main elements:
“Be in the world”
“Do not be of the world”
So let’s start with “Be in the world”
On some level, we don’t have the option right? We’re born into the world and so that is where we find ourselves...
But the suggestion here is that we can probably be in the world without really being in the world
Let’s illustrate:
I’m married - but seeing someone on the side
I have this great career - but if I could quit tomorrow I would
I’m grabbing coffee with a friend - but actually paying more attention to the hockey game on the TV behind him...
These examples illustrate the fact that you can be in a situation, and yet not fully be there...
Transcend Human believes that to “Be in the world” means to actually be in the world:
This starts with a concerted effort to interact with the world vs. hide yourself away
So what does it look like to hide from or choose to "Not be in the world"?
It can be a personal decision (hermits, extreme introverts, etc.)
It can be a mental health thing (severe anxiety, agoraphobia)
It can be a religious thing (denominations that “cluster up” in one area in order to create a community of like minded people)
Groups that completely segment themselves off from society in order to keep it from influencing them (Monasteries, Amish, Some Cults…)
So to summarize - being in the world simply means choosing to engage - choosing to live in the same world as everyone else
Next, we have: “Do not be of the world”
And this is where the priorities thing comes into play…
We don’t typically use the phrase “of something.” It sounds awkward today - instead, we tend to sue the phrase “about something”…
Examples: “He is all about it.” Or, “She was all about that.”
And what we mean is the person is really into the thing - to the point where it has become a priority to them, or somehow defines them.
And this is the key. When you are in the world (as we are told to be) you have two options when it comes to how you interact with the world:
You can live like the world suggests we live:
Engaging in the list of “worldly” things above
“What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas”
"When in Rome, do as the Romans do…"
Basically, choosing to prioritize the things of the world, and engage in them before other things
Or, you can choose to live differently:
Sound familiar? It’s called Transcend Human!
Choosing to live in the world
But deciding in advance what “worldly” things are ok and what will derail us
Example:
Attending a “worldly” sporting event (because it does not go against the higher purpose we’ve established for our lives)
Choosing NOT to do Heroin (because it goes against, and can easily sidetrack us from our higher purpose)
// 3 THE HAPPINESS TRAP
But that sounds so boring I hear people say! Aren’t you allowed to have any fun?!
Well, I guess that depends on what you mean by fun 😉
In the last episode we talked about happiness - so check that out if you’re interested.
But to summarize:
Happiness is situational, and often a momentary emotional response to good things that happen in life
We all experience happiness from time to time - and that’s a good thing!
It only becomes a problem when it is the end all be all to us - when we make it the ultimate goal in life
Joy is episodic
We can experience longer episodes of joy, because on some level we’re choosing joy vs. experiencing it
This is how people can report joy - even in difficult situations
Contentment is a state of being - a mindset - and can last even longer than joy
The assumption is that we’re always working to be content - that it’s more a journey than a destination
As we become more and more aware of the human condition, and the freedom we have to rise above it, we move toward contentment
So “The Happiness Trap” then is at least three things:
First, it is the trap we fall into when we make happiness the goal. We start saying things like this:
I deserve to be happy
I’m not happy enough of the time - there must be something wrong
I need to find more things to make me happy
Life isn’t treating me fairly
My spouse isn’t making me happy - maybe we’re not compatible...
I only drink (or use drugs) to deal with all the crap the world is throwing at me
Doing things around the house doesn’t make me happy, so I really don’t want to do them...
Second, it is the trap we fall into when we think that the “worldly” things are the only things that lead to true happiness
This is Hedonism at its core: Seeking out experiences and activities in order to find happiness
There is even a resort you can go to called Hedonism: https://www.hedonism.com/
Here is a snippet from the About Page: Hedonism II is the world’s most iconic adult playground. An all-inclusive paradise where you can turn your fantasies into reality! No matter what you call it, you will experience what you only read about in erotic novels and let loose! Be Wicked for a Week! People travel to Hedonism II from all corners of the world to live out their fantasies, to escape their inhibitions, to play. Life is too short. Do it now, before later becomes never. Your Pleasure Is Our Passion!
And finally, it is cyclical trap: It goes something like this:
You do something you think should lead to happiness
Then it doesn’t
So you do more of that thing
When that doesn’t work
You do even more if it
Or you find something new to take its place
Now you’re in a new cycle that was no different than the last
One of the best examples of this is the belief that money can buy happiness
People work themselves to death just to make more money so they will eventually find happiness
Even though we’ve all heard the mantra, “Money doesn’t lead to happiness" and most of us agree with it!
But it’s as if we have to prove it to ourselves - testing the validity of the mantra to make sure it’s really true for us, in our circumstances…
// 4 HOW TO TRANSCEND HUMAN WHILE IN THE WORLD
So we’ve decided to “Be in the world” and we’ve decided to “Not be of the world.”
Now what?
Transcend Human suggests we do the following:
Know yourself.
Do the brain damage necessary to figure out what it is you believe
Set boundaries ahead of time
What am I ok with doing?
What are things I won’t do?
Write it down.
Sometimes the best way to remember something is by putting it on paper
Tape it to your bathroom window
Tape it to your car dash
Keep a copy in your purse or wallet
And allow to be a reminder from time to time
Share it.
If comfortable - share it with another person
We call this an accountability partner
We’ll talk more about this in a future episode…
Be Realistic.
Understand the "Happiness Trap” and respond accordingly
When you’re happy, be happy! Enjoy the fact that you’re in a good place (for the moment…)
The rest of the time - choose joy
And in all things seek to be content
So let’s land the plane:
Why is this important?
It’s why we’re here. When we Transcend Human by getting our priorities straight and choosing how we will live, we are engaging our true purpose on Earth
It impacts others: The first reason can come across as a bit selfish. But it’s no different than putting on the air mask on an airplane before helping someone else put theirs on. In helping yourself, you become a help to others. Remember, people are watching you every day. They see the decisions you make and they will be curious…
You good? Didn’t drop too much on you? This was a pretty long episode - so thanks for leaning in and sticking it out.
Next time we’ll talk about being a “lifelong learner” and why learning is transcendent.
Until then - keep Transcending Human!