042 | Transcending Life Stages
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042 | Transcending Life Stages
December 7, 2020
Minute of Transparency: The fatigue produced by the Coronavirus Pandemic...
Today’s Topic: Transcending Life Stages
In this episode:
Stages of Development
Spiraling Out of Control
Think, Just Not Too Much
// 1. STAGES OF DEVELOPMENT
For those of you who took a psychology class in high school or college - this might sound familiar.
In fact - all I had to do was Google "Psychology 101" and I found this online course: https://study.com/academy/course/psychology-101.html
Sure enough - get to Chapter 8 and there you find the classic explanations we're going to look at today:
Piaget's stages of cognitive development
Kohlberg's stages of moral development
Erikson's stages of psychosocial development
What it seems like - is that these father's in the field of psychology knew something important. That there was structure to the way we grow and develop.
That we're not just here on Earth like robots - all experiencing the same things, doing the same things or processing the world one way.
In fact - there are stages we all go through while developing - and each of us goes through these stages in a slightly different way - which adds to the uniqueness in each of us.
So let's fly through these to give us a good foundation for today's episode:
Piaget's Stages of Cognitive Development:
First things first - Piaget was primarily focused on kids - early in their development
And he focused on development rather than the learning of specific information or behaviors
The stages are built on a concept called schemas - which are said to be the building blocks we use to define our world
According to Piaget, a schema is:
"A cohesive, repeatable action sequence possessing component actions that are tightly interconnected and governed by a core meaning."
So for example, if you were raised a Christian, and view the world through that lens, Christianity could be one of the "schemas" through which you experience the world...
In terms of development - these schemas start out small and few, but as we develop they increase in number and complexity
Another important concept to understand with Piaget is "Adaptation:"
Which simply put is a persons ability to adjust to the world around them through these processes:
Assimilation: Using an existing schema to deal with something new and unexpected
Accommodation: Changing an existing schema to fit a new situation because the old schema doesn't work
Equilibration: The driving force that pushed us through the two above. Pushing us to flesh out a new schema and add it to our tool belt
So what are the actual stages:
Sensorimotor: 18-24 months
Object permanence
Schema development regarding physical objects
Preoperational: To age 7
Symbolic thinking
The ability for something to stand for something other than itself
Difficult to take the viewpoint of others
Concrete Operational: to age 11
The beginning of logic, or operational thought
The ability to work things out in your head vs. physically in your environment
Formal Operational: Adolescence and adulthood
The ability to think through abstract concepts
The ability to logically test ideas and hypotheses
Like I said - Piaget is mainly focused on the schema development in the early years
However, because many of us find ourselves in the Formal Operational stage (Adolescent to Adulthood) - it is interesting to see what our stage includes:
Abstract thought - things like math, gravity, force, acceleration, spirituality
All things that are hard to physically see and prove in our environment
But it's the second part that I find truly fascinating - this ability to create ideas or hypotheses and then test them
For me, this is what Transcend Human is all about:
Back in 2019 this idea came to me
I thought about it for a while
Fleshed it out a bit
Tested it with a few people
And eventually it became a schema for me - a way for me to understand and approach the world around me
Kohlberg's Stages of Moral Development:
Kohlberg was less interested in the development of our thinking, and more in understanding where we get our moral reasoning from
And through his research he came up with these 3 Stages of Moral Development:
Preconventional Morality:
The earliest version of morality
Rules are viewed as fixed or absolute
And obeying the rules is important in order to keep from being punished
Conventional Morality:
Living up to social expectations and roles
Conformity
Considering how our choices influence our relationships
Postconventional Morality:
The view that rules and laws are important
But that all members of society should agree on these standards
Takes into consideration universal ethical principles and abstract reasoning
At this stage people may follow internalized principles of justice even if they are in conflict with rules and laws
Kohlberg's ideas were criticized for a number of reasons
But I think we can still see an interesting image appear when it comes to morality
In fact - I can totally see these three stages play out in adults around me today!
Some of us are just rule followers - because we're afraid of the consequences
Some of us go along with the crowd - if the majority thinks something is right or wrong we tend to agree and go along for the ride
And some of us are willing to break the rules if we think there is a universal ethical principal that is being broken
Sound familiar? I think 2020 was the perfect backdrop for this - showcasing each of these forms or morality in the news we watched every night
Erikson's Stages of Psychosocial Development:
Erikson came along and focused more on stages we go through cognitively and socially
The simple explanation is that we need to progress through each stage below in an orderly fashion in order to complete the stages well
If we have problems making it through a stage it can have negative ramifications in future stages
And within each stage there is a virtue that is learned (or not)
So here they are:
Trust vs. Mistrust (0-1.5)
Virtue: HOPE
Learning whether or not you can trust people through the actions of your caregiver
Autonomy vs. Shame (1.5-3)
Virtue: WILL
Kids learning to master physical tasks in order to gain independence
You either become more autonomous, or you develop shame for not being able to do things you try to do
Initiative vs. Guilt (3-5)
Virtue: PURPOSE
Kids begin playing with other kids and attempting to make up games or activities
They either learn to be more creative, or can start to experience guilt when they don't speak up and initiate things
Industry vs. Inferiority (5-12)
Virtue: COMPETENCE
Learning, and being able to keep up with others in this process
Kids feel industrious when they are able to keep up, or inferior if they start lagging behind
Identity vs. Role Confusion (12-18)
Virtue: FIDELITY
At this stage adolescents are trying to figure out where they fit in, and what role they can play as an adult
If they can figure this out they will continue to build their identity, if not they experience role confusion
Intimacy vs. Isolation (18-40)
Virtue: LOVE
These are the relationship years - not just the marriage relationship - but any strong relationship
Learning to love that one person, and/or the people you surround yourself with
If this moves along well - you experience intimacy
If it doesn't go well, it tends to move you into isolation
Generativity vs. Stagnation (40-65)
Virtue: CARE
Middle adulthood
Giving back to society through raising families, being productive at work, community involvement, etc.
Being successful in these things leads to feelings of accomplishment
Failing to contribute can lead to feeling stagnant and unproductive
Ego Integrity vs. Despair (65+)
Virtue: WISDOM
Getting to the age where you start looking back vs. looking ahead
Either feeling good about the legacy you left
Or feeling guilt/despair that you didn't do your best
This leads to feelings of depression and hopelessness
As you can see - Erikson's stages are a bit more complete - and we can start to see ourselves in the stages that are behind us.
I think the important questions we can all ask are:
"How did I do in each of the stages I went through?"
"Did I attain the necessary virtue in each stage?"
In other words - did I learn trust in the first stage?
Or did I learn to mistrust people?
And so on...
If you are seeing, or have ever seen a therapist - you were probably asked about some of these stages, and your perception as to their impact on you.
Going back to these stages and dealing with the emotions stemming from them can be useful and helpful in successfully navigating future stages of life.
// 2. SPIRALING OUT OF CONTROL
So these were the main theories we studies when I was going to school. Along with Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs - which I left out of this episode only because we have discussed it a number of times already on the show.
However, one that I never studied, and one that has grown in popularity is a theory called Spiral Dynamics.
It began back in the 1960s by an American psychology professor: Clare W. Graves. Over time his work was picked up by Don Beck and Christopher Cowan, and eventually they joined forces with Ken Wilbur who developed Integral Theory. The combined knowledge and study led to Spiral Dynamics we know today.
So enough history...what is this theory - and why should I care?
Well, like the other theories we discussed above - they all try to explain certain stages, phases, levels or growth we go through as we develop or mature.
And Spiral Dynamics attempts to combine some of the others in order to be an overarching theory.
Spiral Dynamics is split into 8 different Value Systems and each is given a color.
Now I'm not going to go into detail on any of this as it would require hours and hours of explanation.
But we can walk through the 8 colors and get a feel for the characteristics of each.
Beige: Survival Sense
Considered the most basic value
Instincts, automatic behavior
Satisfying primary biological and reproductive needs
Purple: KinSpirits:
Tribal
Kinship is important
Sense of belonging to something
Desire to keep their family safe
Loyalty
Red: PowerGods:
Egocentric, exploiting, impulsive
Asserting ones self for dominance or power
Only trusts self and selfish desires
Autonomous, decisive and direct
Blue: TruthForce:
Order, purpose and morality
Belief that the world is divinely controlled and ordered
Wrong is punished and right is rewarded
Sense of justice
Obedient rule followers
Orange: StriveDrive:
Autonomy and self development
Positivity - world is full of ideas
Use all available talent and opportunities to make something better
Strategic and profit driven
Entrepreneurial spirit
Green: HumanBond:
Equality and harmony
We find love and purpose through affiliation and sharing
Human needs are to be addressed
Bottom-up mentality
Everyone is invited to contribute to the greater good
Yellow: FlexFlow:
Viewing the world as complex and self-organized
Think global, act local
Creative, innovative and visionary
Transcendent view of the world
Eclectic at times - in the clouds thinking
Turquoise: WholeView:
Wholistic, synergistic and cosmic
The Earth is one large holistic organism made up of interconnected forces
And humanity has the ability to make it better or destroy it
The ability to see the universe as a whole and working to ensure a peaceful interplay between all as one
Can be viewed as stuck in spiritual consciousness and unable to touch the ground
Where the theory gets a bit difficult to understand is in how these values play out:
So here are some explanations to help define it better:
Each color is a value a person may have
The colors do not represent behavior - only the value behind behaviors
Often - if you identify strongly with a specific color - our behavior changes and aligns with those values
It is not linear - in that you work your way from color to color - this is why each color is said to live on a spiral that is ever moving and changing
You may have each of the colors in you on some level - just some that you don't understand or some that haven't been tapped into
These colors have both healthy and unhealthy elements to them
One color is not better than another
So just reading through those explanations we can see similarities to other theories, and even to some of the personality inventories we talked about in the last episode.
Each is attempting to describe us - as people - based on our personalities, ways of thinking, values, motivations, etc.
And this, at its core is what makes us human. Right?
It's what sets us apart from the animals, birds and insects.
No matter how smart you think a dolphin is, or a monkey, or a really intelligent dog... They are only smart because they have developed innate responses to environmental stimuli. They have learned over time how to act in order to get a positive outcome. Whether it be to win a mate, find food, hunt successfully, or win attention from a human being.
But we go beyond that. Yes, we do the same thing as the animals - in that we develop behaviors by learning what works and what doesn't.
But we take it to the next level by thinking about our thinking. This is the real distinction.
Animals develop skills over time - trial and error typically play a big role in this.
But humans are able to step outside that process and analyze it. In essence thinking about the ways we think.
And this is where things like Spiral Dynamics comes from. A person with WAY too much time on his hands, sits down and starts to think about the ways we think.
And over time he documents it, runs it by other people, tests it, refines it, and eventually provides his theory to the world.
His theory about the way we think - our values and value systems - and how those eventually impact us, our families, our community, our workplace and eventually the world around us.
And that's all the farther I want to go - I think...
I just wanted to give you a high level overview of the way we as humans have studied ourselves in an attempt to understand ourselves better.
In essence, all the thinking we've done about our thinking...
// 3. THINK, JUST NOT TOO MUCH
I know this statement might rub some of you the wrong way.
In fact Christianity gets a bad rap because if this very idea:
Non-Christians for years have suggested that in order for you to be a Christian you have to, "Check your brain at the door."
This undoubtedly, because in order to be a Christian, your rational thought has to share space with this thing called "faith." Faith being a belief in something that is unseen, and can't be scientifically proven
Now I think we all understand that to believe in the opposite - to believe that we came from nothing - as the evolutionists teach - requires a bit of faith as well
It's called the "missing link" and was something even Charles Darwin had to admit required a level of faith - or suspension of disbelief at the least...
But it's this concept of faith that we need to talk about. Because it sets up a spectrum, a continuum of sorts.
With complete faith on one end and complete scientific proof on the other:
If you are 100% on the faith side - you will do very little in the way of study, research or work at finding evidence - you simply believe, and accept something to be true
If you are 100% on the scientific proof side - you will require that there be no unanswered questions - no stone left unturned. Everything must work out in the end and there must be hard evidence for all of it
Do you know people who live like this? 100% faith people? 100% science people?
My guess is you may know a few - but it is much more likely that you know a bunch of people somewhere in the middle.
Most of us struggle with having faith and needing proof as well
We understand that a level of faith is required - but really want to make sure 90% of the rest is proven to us
It's natural on some level. Nobody wants to be taken advantage of - and putting too many of our eggs in the faith basket seems like it opens us up to be taken advantage of
And this is where the phrase, "Think, just not too much" comes in...
Like Clare Graves, we have the freedom to pick a rabbit hole and dive in:
And when I say dive in, I mean really dive in - making it your life's work to understand something
Nothing wrong with that - in fact, on some level that's what Transcend Human, Controversy Theory, and Conscience Driven Therapy is for me
Not that it's my full time gig - but it has been a consistent thing driving me since early 2000
But there is also a danger in the rabbit hole:
In the movie The Matrix, Morpheus says, "You take the blue pill, the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill, you stay in wonderland, and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes.”
And for those of you who saw the movie - you remember the rabbit hole was very deep
Neo learned the truth about the life he was living - that it was all a lie
Humans were nothing more than batteries powering a network of machines
And the life they were living was nothing more than a software program that created a fake world for them to live in
So in the movie - it all worked out
There was a reason for going down the rabbit hole - and that's the plot and climax of the movie
But in this life - life doesn't typically work out like it does in the movies
For us, going down a rabbit hole can do nothing more than distract us, or disenfranchise us from the very things that are important in life
Real life example of someone I watched go down a rabbit hole:
This was a friend of mine quite a few years ago
Living a very normal life, appeared stable, and dedicated to family
Had a spiritual life - and appeared to have a set of beliefs he found important
Involved in the church world, and served his community well
And then something changed
He saw a rabbit, and started to chase it
I'm not sure what the rabbit was at first, but he dove in 100%
And the rabbit hole swallowed him up
His research and study led him to a whole different place
Far away from the people he loved and the people who loved him
In his mind, I don't think he even saw it as a problem
He was the enlightened one - he had new information that everyone around him needed to have
His rabbit hole was the one every person needed to find - and he needed to tell them
His rabbit hole was one of rational thought - poking holes in everything he once believed
Anything that had a "faith" flavor to it was thrown out as not credible, and for weak minded people
He began taunting other people about their faith
He began demanding that people in his life start to view the world as he did
To the point where people in his life began to wonder if they wanted to be around him at all
As an outsider looking in, I could see the damage being done and how insidious this situation is for many people:
On the one hand - the rabbit hole looks nice, and inviting
There are a lot of pretty things to see
And as you go deeper and deeper into the hole you feel like you're almost there - almost to a place where you're the enlightened one
Where you have all the answers - everything makes sense - you've found the holy grail so to speak
It's intoxicating, and you start to view others as less than
If only they had the knowledge you have
There life would be so much better!
And that's real danger - when your thinking, your knowledge, or your search for it starts to interfere with your relationships. When you start to think your way is the only way. And when you begin to force your knowledge on others.
Knowledge is not the problem. In fact, we should all be searching for, and learning new things throughout our lifetimes. But we all understand that too much of a good thing can have negative side effects.
So what we're really talking about here is moderation. Finding balance between the faith we have in the unseen and the knowledge we crave.
The Bible makes it pretty clear that we won't know everything. In fact our brains aren't even capable of understanding things beyond a certain level.
“For My thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways My ways,” says the Lord. Isaiah 55:8 (NKJV)
Pretty good summary of the fact that we can't attain all the knowledge. God's ways and His thoughts are so much higher than ours.
And that's ok - because someday we will get to sit at His feet and learn from Him. We will get to understand those things we can't understand right now.
And that's the faith piece:
Believing that it is ok NOT to know it all now
In exchange for living forever
And getting to understand it all then
Let’s Land the Plane:
This week - ask yourself the following questions:
Where do you stand on the whole faith and knowledge thing?
Are you a person who has faith and also loves to learn?
Or is faith still something you struggle with - and knowledge is king?
What would it take for you to work on the faith side a bit this week?
Maybe find a good book on the subject?
Search out a good pastor and listen to some podcast episodes?
Or maybe try praying - tell God that your faith is small, and you want it to grow
I think that's a good start.
Today we really just did a high level overview of the ways the world looks at growth, maturation, and development. Our worldly search for knowledge about our species and our desire to be able to explain everything.
And while these theories are deep, rich in content and even hard to understand at times. They aren't the final answer. They don't tell us everything about ourselves.
God probably knows that if He allowed us the capacity to understand everything there is to understand - our minds would be blown...
Pretty crazy right? They say we only use 10% of the capacity of our brains. And look what we can do with the 10%!
I can't imagine what it will be like to walk into heaven and have the limiter taken off my brain. Think about it! What could you do with that other 90%?
Think of all the new things we're going to experience, and learn once we are free from this world of limitation.
Thanks for joining me this week on our walk down memory lane - looking at some of the foundational theories in Psychology 101.
I hope you have a great week. Keep learning, and keep Transcending Human!
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